• @starchylemming
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    159 hours ago

    piss all over your bathroom just so you don’t have to sit down. manly

  • @[email protected]
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    47 hours ago

    Adding a small red light by the toilet might remedy this. You get to aim properly and it might not mess with your ability to go back to sleep.

    • Xanthrax
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      18 hours ago

      You think I’m touching that piss lid in the dark? It’s up for a reason.

      • @FlexibleToast
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        8 hours ago

        If it’s up, you don’t even need to touch it, just sit… Also, clean your toilet. Don’t be proud of being a slob.

        • Xanthrax
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          6 hours ago

          I have a partner with a vagina and I have dick, so that lid is a schrodinger’s cat in the dark

          • @FlexibleToast
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            25 hours ago

            And unlike a cat you apparently have no night vision at all along with your dirty toilet?

            • Xanthrax
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              14 hours ago

              I’m color blind and I can’t see in the dark, so yes

    • Lord Wiggle
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      417 hours ago

      And make sure not to hit the water so no one can hear you. Pee like a ninja

  • @JeeBaiChow
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    17 hours ago

    Fool. It doesn’t make a sound because you’re obviously still asleeping, and just peeing in your dream. But no worries, the familiar warm sensation will wake you up soon enough.

    • @[email protected]
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      59 hours ago

      I’ve had so many vivid pissing dreams, but never actually pissed the bed (at least not since toddlerhood).

      I still wake up in a panic assuming I did though. It’s a weird sensation, you get relief in the dream cause you finally peed, but then you realize you’re in bed and wake up in a panic, then relief again when it’s dry.