It is real!
https://buddycarter.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=15398
Rep. Earl L. “Buddy” Carter (R-GA) released the following statement today after introducing a bill authorizing President Trump to acquire Greenland and renaming it Red, White, and Blueland:
“America is back and will soon be bigger than ever with the addition of Red, White, and Blueland. President Trump has correctly identified the purchase of what is now Greenland as a national security priority, and we will proudly welcome its people to join the freest nation to ever exist when our Negotiator-in-Chief inks this monumental deal.”
Thankfully, the dipshit, Buddy, is not related to former President Jimmy Carter.
This “buddy” is so nose deep up Trumps ass that he just climbed out of his mouth
RFK Jr had a brain worm, so Buddy wanted to be Trump’s tapeworm
Careful, his idiot followers are going to believe this 4200%
This government is stupider and more childish than any TikTok challenge to date… combined
Red + Blue = Purple + White = … Lilac?
Lilacland?
Tbh that’s a really cute name.
Red, White, and Blueland
Does this mean France, and Russia, and every other country with those colors in their flags also have claims to that land?
Sure, whatever. We’re living in the clown timeline anyway.
Cool. Just renamed my apartment “The REAL United States of America”. Every room is now a new state. The guest bathroom is obviously “New Ohio”. There. See how much that lowered egg prices?
The geopolitical fanfiction writes itself. Renaming Greenland like some corporate rebrand desperate to distract from melting assets – national security theater now starring spray-painted glaciers. The cognitive contortions needed to frame territorial karaoke as “strategic expansion” would earn Olympic gold in mental gymnastics.
They’ve upgraded from labeling dissenters “anti-American” to legislating cartographic fanfic. Six-month bureaucratic deadlines for rewriting maps? Peak legislative productivity achieved while infrastructure crumbles and healthcare implodes. At least the Sharpie industry thrives.
Denmark’s diplomatic eye-roll echoes through the performative patriotism. Soft power evolves into PowerPoint jingoism – why address rising seas when you can rename them? The real climate action? Mandating all future hurricanes adopt surnames from Founding Fathers. Priorities, people.
This is what our elected representatives believe is important. This is what they are wasting our tax dollars on. Burn it all down.
In other news, Republicans vote to turn Congress into giant MAGA circle jerk.
It’s come (cum?) true: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ErgXG--UcAE0pGw?format=jpg&name=small
Oh my fucking God. Holy sweet fucking Lord in heaven. Jesus fucking Christ. I’m already done.
Can I stick a fork in you?
And here we are; all thinking that we are in the dumbest timeline. Turns out, we are all right about that.
Let’s see how dumb this timeline will get.
Me too… and I’m not even a Yank.
It fucking pisses me off so much seeing the thick, orange, cunt-in-chief on our news day after fucking day talking absolute bollocks on the news…
Dammit!
I said this as a joke nearly a month ago on Discord.
Nice job
all i get from this is that Donald Trump is in your discord server and stole your idea
I know exactly who it is.
Actually, I’m just going to accuse the one person I know that will be the most upset about me calling him out as Trump.
Well, we’re definitely gonna need to see this now.
Right, but this is the reality that runs on jokes, so you can’t do that!
I willed this into existence.
Careful that you don’t wake the dark ones sleeping in the abyss.
Fuck us all forever.
Removed by mod
Removed indeed!
As an autistic person, I wholeheartedly agree.
