Why do people accept those games and manipulation in their relationship? I’ve dealt with some shit in my youth but even in my mid twenties I just decided that’s now how I want my relationships to be. I broke up over a silent treatment once. She was a surprised Pikachu even though I told her if she keeps this up all day til bedtime and refuses to talk it out, I am done.
So after dinner I packed my shit and went to my place.
My current partner and I have agreed to not punish each other with things like silent treatment or love deprevation.
When there is a problem we talk it out. If emotions are getting in the way we try to calm down first with an hour break or so. And we also can disagree and that’s fine. Otherwise we try and find a solution. Together. It’s us versus the issue at hand. Not versus each other. Coming up on 9 years together and still madly in love.
Bra-fuckin’-vo. No irony here, just kudos from one person to another: you’ve not only found someone compatible, you’ve worked out a way to, well, work the issues out.
And as you’ve said: it’s not one vs the other, it’s you vs the issue at hand. Chef’s kiss
Congrats. You’re an emotionally mature and aware adult. Most people never get to that stage. Its fucking bewildering.
Oh, cool. The argument is over. I guess we worked it out after all. Ah, the silence of contentment. [Thunder rumbling in the background]
100%.
“I guess we are all good now so I’m gonna go back to playing my games with my friends” 2 hours later “I can’t believe you just ignored me and talked with your friends while I sat here!”
If I ask if everything is all good and you say yes I am going to believe you and walk away lol.
Stop enabling this shit.
They can intentionally take space or they can talk it out but this shit is infantile and no one with any self respect should tolerate it.
I ain’t enabling it lol. I just ain’t playing their game. They usually learn to communicate better after a few times of trying the silent treatment and realizing that shit dont work on me.
50/50 chance it works due to anxiety.
- Just make up with your spouse. Everybody disagrees and fights some, but holding out is just delaying getting back to good living
- The introvert EXPECTS the other to be chatting. You will absolutely upset their homeostasis if you clam up
- If you’re both introverts, enjoy that quiet time
“what do want for dinner?” “wtv”
all ok.
