Whenever someone brings up Lana and Lilly Wachowski’s body of work, The Matrix is always at the center of the conversation. Maybe Speed Racer and Cloud Atlas get some mentions thanks to their vocal followers, but their spacefaring epic Jupiter Ascending is typically swept under the rug. A critical and financial disaster, most people wouldn’t blame you for forgetting about it. And that’s a shame because we believe there are enough reasons after 10 years to give it a rewatch with new eyes.

Millennia-spanning human dynasties that harvest planets to make their lives longer, a human whose genes were spliced with a space wolf’s, reincarnation backed by hokey, half-explained science… Jupiter Ascending isn’t an easy sell, but behind the weak story is some excellent world-building, and it’s exactly the sort of ‘bad movie’ that’s worth revisiting.

Jupiter Ascending spends far too much time yapping about market disputes and profits while failing to present a compelling narrative built around it. The story orbits around Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), who was named by her astronomer father after the famous gas giant. Her dull, aimless life in Chicago as a cleaner who’s stuck with her relatives is the opposite of special though.

Despite the classic Cinderella setup and colorful sci-fi universe, the Wachowskis’ script is smothered by half-baked exposition and infighting, centered around the highly profitable business of ‘harvesting’ developed worlds for ‘youth serum’ the extraterrestrial elites use to live for thousands of years.

Add overblown family matters that come and go (at least two major villains are entirely dropped and never brought up again) to the mix and you’ve got a muddled mess of a plot.

Despite its shortcomings, you can’t deny that Jupiter Ascending continues to be a gorgeous movie. The CGI work has its ups and downs, sure, but the Wachowskis traditionally excel at making fantasy come to life and this is no exception. Many would even argue the ‘overly digital’ look of their post-Matrix movies is a feature and not a bug. Their works, no matter the setting, could be considered the opposite of grounded, with high saturation and vibrant lighting working well in tandem with the exuberant sets, costumes, and shiny spaceships of their space opera to create an ethereal, dreamlike world. If you’re looking for tangible realism in Jupiter Ascending, you’re watching it wrong.

To the surprise of no one, unmistakable big-name composer Michael Giacchino gave this space odyssey his all. The original soundtrack isn’t just a good accompaniment; it almost sells the entire thing on its own. It’s playful, classical, and even menacing when it needs to feel weighty. After giving the equally divisive John Carter at Disney a good push in 2012, his expertise yielded similar results here. It’s an enchanting score that deserves a much better movie behind it.

So, were we wrong about Jupiter Ascending? That’s for each casual viewer, cinephile, and critic to decide. It has some remarkable positives and a passionate vision, that’s for sure. But getting through its rougher patches and ignoring the misguided decisions remains challenging.

Perhaps time will be kind to Jupiter Ascending as we’re bombarded with far duller franchise flicks and uninspiring hogwash, but it’s still too soon to start with the ‘Jupiter Ascending was great, actually’ posts.

    • @[email protected]
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      13 hours ago

      Exactly. People need to stop conflating enjoyment with quality.
      I love this movie. It’s such a big swing, in so many ways, by so many people. I enjoy every min. And respect the hell out of what it was trying to be.

  • @niktemadur
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    7 hours ago

    we’re still not sure how The Matrix creators’ space opera went so wrong

    Makes it sound like they’ve had funded research and top men at the lab working on this problem for years now. That if you stroll around the physics department hallways of Princeton or Berkeley, sooner or later you’ll bump into a room that has a “Jupiter Ascending” plaque on the door, people inside scurrying around in white labcoats while clutching their clipboards.

    • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝OPM
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      87 hours ago

      Makes it sound like they’ve had funded research and top men at the lab working on this problem for years now.

      • @niktemadur
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        15 hours ago

        Hey look, it’s Jek Porkins and Han Solo!

  • @Schal330
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    68 hours ago

    I can guess one reason is the Wachowski’s got lucky with The Matrix, similar to how Shyamalan got lucky with The Sixth Sense.

  • DrSleepless
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    2211 hours ago

    I know this one- bad script, wooden acting, terrible directing

    • @[email protected]
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      68 hours ago

      Every actor thought they were in a different genre. You got dull disaffected kunis and maniacal scenery devouring redmayne.

      Good to watch on drugs tho

      • @[email protected]
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        12 hours ago

        Which drugs do you recommended for this film? It’s it more of a stoner flick, or do I need psychedelics? Or is it more of drinking game kind of movie?

        • @[email protected]
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          42 hours ago

          anything that disconnects you from reality juuuust a wee bit.

          Movies I do not recommend on drugs: Fear and loathing. But if you take acid, the brady bunch movies are grand, Mike Brady’s shirts really pop.

    • @adam_y
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      411 hours ago

      You’re hired.

  • Maple Engineer
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    1413 hours ago

    Mila Kunis is absolutely gorgeous in this movie. It’s worth a watch just for her.

    Valerian was the same. Watch it for Cara Delinvigne if for no other reason.

    • Mossy Feathers (She/They)
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      811 hours ago

      With Valerian I’d say you should watch the intro. Then turn it off. Unless you feel like watching some half-baked sci-fi eye-candy. The intro sequence with humanity’s first contact and everything was beautiful and made me sniffly. The rest of the movie was pretty, kinda fun, but ultimately nowhere near as amazing as the intro.

    • HubertManne
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      412 hours ago

      the valerian cartoon was so good. The movie such a disapointment.

      • Maple Engineer
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        212 hours ago

        Have you tried watching it with the sound turned off?

        • HubertManne
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          512 hours ago

          No, but im not sure that would help. Valerian himself seems just so young and douche as opposed to a bit more of a mature scoundrel. Its like could you imagine whoever that actor was at that time playing han solo.

      • @portuga
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        111 hours ago

        I agree, I grew up with europe comics, but valerian the movie totally failed to capture the essence of it. I mean I like mila kunis but she’s nowhere near capturing the mood, neither is valerian

  • @RizzRustbolt
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    410 hours ago

    The beastiality might pushed a few folks away…

    • cassie 🐺
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      35 hours ago

      “I love dogs! I’ve always loved dogs!” has to be one of the funniest movie lines I’ve heard. but for my money it was probably the bees choosing their space queen because they “respect royalty”

      do actually recommend getting some friends and drinks to see this one, we laughed our asses off at space-twilight and had a good time

      • @[email protected]
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        68 hours ago

        Pretty sure every movie made by a given director exists in a single cannonical universe, Spielburg taught us that

        • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝OPM
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          37 hours ago

          Not sure how we make Speed Racer, Bound, The Matrix and Jupiter Ascending work in the same universe but I imagine someone is trying to figure it out.

          • @[email protected]
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            36 hours ago

            That’s easy: speed racer, bound, and Jupiter ascending are training programs in the matrix universe. And John Wick another version of the matrix.

          • @[email protected]
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            36 hours ago

            You could say they’re all previous versions of the Matrix or that Tuxedo Helmet (Speed Racer’s older brother, I think, it’s been a while for me) is actually Agent Smith