John sat on the edge of his cot, twirling a makeshift chess piece between his fingers. His cell was dim, lit only by the flickering overhead light in Cell Block C. He could hear the usual noises of the prison—the murmurs of other inmates, the distant clanking of metal doors, the heavy boots of the guards pacing the halls.
But tonight, something was different.
Through the bars of his cell, just beyond his reach, sat a cake. Not just any cake—this one was shaped like the key to his cell. It was unmistakable. The same design had been on the wedding cake he and Liz had shared all those years ago.
John’s heart pounded. Liz.
Lately, things between them had been strained. Her promotion to prison guard supervisor meant she was constantly busy, overseeing schedules, handling disputes, barely stopping by his cell like she used to. And he wasn’t blameless either. His rise in the prison gang had taken up more of his time, pulling him away from her.
But now, this cake. It had to be from her. A message. A reminder of what they had.
John felt a grin stretch across his face. He reached under his cot, carefully pulling out the Big Mouth Billy Bass novelty he had been crafting in the prison workshop. It was an inside joke between them—something from their early days, before things got complicated.
Sliding the fish through the bars, he let it land next to the cake. Then, using the long stick he had stashed away for retrieving contraband, he pressed the button.
A mechanical whir sounded, and then—
“Take me to the water… Take me to the river…”
John leaned against the bars, listening. It was their song. The one they had danced to at their wedding reception, back when things were simpler.
For a moment, the chaos of prison life faded. The gang politics, the guard-prisoner dynamics, the unspoken tension between their families—it all disappeared.
Then, footsteps.
Liz appeared at the end of the hallway. She stopped when she saw the Billy Bass flopping beside the cake, the song still playing. A slow smile crept onto her face.
“You remember,” she said softly.
John nodded. “You never forget your first dance.”
She crossed her arms, pretending to be stern, but he could see the warmth in her eyes. “You’re still rising up in that gang, aren’t you?”
John shrugged. “You’re still climbing the ranks in the guard force.”
She sighed. “Maybe we’ve been so busy moving up that we forgot where we started.”
John pressed his hand against the bars. “We could start again.”
Liz glanced down at the cake, then back at him. “You know, it’s against the rules for me to bring you this.”
“And it’s against the rules for me to have this.” He nudged the Billy Bass with his foot.
Liz smirked. “We always were terrible at following the rules.”
She stepped forward, pressing her hand against his through the bars.
For the first time in a long time, they weren’t a prisoner and a guard. They were just John and Liz.
And that was enough.
This was magnificent. Definitely a S-tier comment.
Thank you! I try to take absurdism very seriously.
Where’s Garfield? Mondays, amirite?
Ha ha ha ha. I didn’t even realize I had done that. It should be cannon now, though. Garfield, Odie, and Nermal are his cellmates. The comics depict his descent into dissociation from reality as a coping mechanism for the harsh realities of prison.
Smart. Take the fish to make the warden think you won’t escape, then when they let their guard down you squeeze through the bar’s massive gap.
You won’t fit through the bars after eating that fat fish though!
Stör
Stör
Don’t dox my ex
Literally us
Give a man a fish, and he’ll stay in prison for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he’ll stay in prison for life.
Give a man a key, and he’ll just escape into prison planet.
Citation from: Alex Jones
Give a man a campfire and he has it warm for a day.
Set him on fire and he has it warm until the end of his life.
He looks like he could just slip through the bars easily. Skill issue.
Bars being drawn way too far apart to actually hold whoever’s in the cell is a pet peeve of mine.