It’s been a rough month. Schools out so my young kiddo is home more. We’re butting heads. They want to see friends every day and I try but ya know, people have lives and can’t get together every day. Kiddo has been taking it out on me.
I’m going through perimenopause. Emotions are really out of whack. Things just feel heavy.
And then there’s my group of friends. My bestie is going through a separation. I was the go to for support. We talked just about every day, even if it was just through text. Well my friend moved in with mutual friends (kid free. Makes way more sense to move in with them) and…the drop off in communication is wild.
I guess I’m just feeling like I’m an after thought. We haven’t been invited to anything. Our invites have been rejected. In person interactions with my bestie feel strained. I’m trying to be understanding. Friend is going through shit. They feel safe and loved and happy. And I AM happy for them. I just wish I was there share in the joy as well
Anyway, last weekend I crashed out hard. This is our core group of friends and with my anxiety I just felt like we were losing them and I’ve been really down. I tried to download bumble bff to meet new people. But they require a phone number and I’m not interested in giving any app my number.
So what do I do? I signed up for a dance class. A burlesque dance class. Have I ever danced? Nope. Do I know anything about dance? Also no. I know I’ve always wanted to try it and so…here I am, going to take a random burlesque dance class for a few weeks with an optional performance.
It may not sound wild to most of you but this is SO far out of my comfort zone. I’m on my early 40s, going solo (in hopes of maybe meeting new people) and I can’t decide if I’m more terrified or excited.
It’s a weird time. Even if our friend group is fine and this is just a phase, I still want to put myself out there and find more people. I’ve never been one to have a lot of friends. I like close knit groups. I guess that’s why this feels weird.
My next goal is to find a needle point group. And maybe look into a beginners d&d group.
I’m also try to set a good example for my kiddo. You have to try new things all the time. Its how we grow. And I may be in my 40s but I’m not done yet. There’s still a bunch of things I want to try.
Thanks for listening! Happy Monday y’all.
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Nothing substantial to add other than to say I’m impressed and inspired by your willingness to let a rough patch spur you towards leaving your comfort zone. I find that I typically retreat further into the zone when life gets decidedly uncomfy. Understandable, sure, but it’s not a behavior I’m particularly proud of.
With that being said, I’m going to stop by my friendly local game store on my way home and put some effort into joining a table, like I always tell myself I will, but ultimately don’t. So, I hope this rough patch passes you by, I hope your dance class is a blast, and thank you again for sharing!
Same. I’m going on 12 years without really any friends. I have a D&D group that gets together anywhere from every 2 weeks to 2 years. I don’t even like D&D (relative to other tabletop games). But it’s the only thing that takes me out of the house besides groceries, and the only people I see besides my wife and kids.
Good luck finding a table!
This is new territory for me! I would normally shrink and withdraw from everyone besides my partner and have a little pity party. But I think with therapy I’ve realized this is not the best thing for my mental health and I wanted to try something new.
For what it’s worth, I’m proud you’re going to stop by your game shop to see about a table and wish you luck!
At the risk of being a massive downer, parenting has been an incredibly lonely experience for me. I do have a couple of little glimmers of friendship that I’m following up on. I try all kinds of stuff but it’s just been difficult to connect with people. I think people are giving 100% in a lot of areas of their lives and are just out of energy
It’s SO difficult! This core group of friends love our kiddo and often includes them in our activities. And now we finally have a proper babysitter so we actually get adult time which is so important, because I get it. Adults without kids don’t want to always be around kids.
And you’re right. My anxiety is telling its me, I’m the problem but in alll actuality its probably everyone just dealing with their own shit trying to get through life. It just feels more personal when 3 of the 5 people in the group are living together have a grand time and it feels like we’ve been excluded.
Good luck!! Unfortunate that you’ve gotten so uncomfy, but this sounds like a really good way to navigate it!
Thanks. I’m trying! I’m hoping that keeping myself busy will help.
You sound like a good mom… and also a little bit like my own, who decided to take up tango right before her 60th bday, lol. Stay strong, sis, and enjoy the dance lessons! 🫶
Thanks! I’m trying! And who knows, if I like this class maybe I’ll do tango next! Lok
Isn’t it awesome that your kiddo has so many friends, though?
I signed up for bellydancing class when I was in a similar situation.
Are you on HRT?
Yea. Kid is such a social butterfly, so different than me growing up! I always had trouble making friends.
Not on a lot of HRT stuff yet. I think the Peri is just starting really kick in gear. I am also a late diagnosed ADHD so I’m also trying to navigate that, which apparently affects all of it. But thankfully due to the ADHD medication, I see my doctor frequently (and she’s amazing) so I’ll be bringing up my new symptoms to see what she thinks at my next appointment
Start HRT as soon as you can!
I totally get this, outside of work and school it’s really hard to make friends. Your body changes and children trouble sounds difficult. I’ve seen my own fair share of both, I can relate!
I started a running group to find new people. Made two good friends so far. They actually seek me out so that’s an improvement already!
