• BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
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    28 days ago

    I’ve had a standing deal with God that if he smites Trump with a giant bolt of lightning while he’s giving a televised speech, I will immediately start to believe, and I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life.

    So far, He has not called my bluff.

      • psycho_driver
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        28 days ago

        God doesn’t care if you tithe to your church. Outside of one verse in the Old Testament that’s something concocted by churches to get paid.

    • hansolo@lemmy.today
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      28 days ago

      I think what you mean to say is that Yahweh has yet to decide your soul is a fair trade for the pain and suffering inflicted by these people.

      Maybe try another god. Hekate maybe? I think she’s the one that helped Chaz along.

    • tigermountain
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      25 days ago

      There are about 25 or so people that all need to be smited by god over the course of a week to really make a difference.

  • dadarobot@lemmy.ml
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    29 days ago

    Mitch is simultaneously both alive and dead while it is unobserved, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.

    • Photonic
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      27 days ago

      He is just in his pupal stage right now. Neither alive, nor dead. We’ve all seen his larval stage and it has appalled us all, but what will come next will really be the stuff of nightmares: his true form.

    • Final Remix
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      28 days ago

      Even his [widow|wife] said she hasn’t contacted him since returning from her sudden China trip.

    • rayyy@piefed.social
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      28 days ago

      Mitch is dead but he is scheduled to be officially dead in August. Isn’t it illegal to accept pay from the government if you are dead?

  • ChicoSuave
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    29 days ago

    Two out of three? Just humping the Book of Mormon.

    • Track_Shovel@slrpnk.netOP
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      28 days ago

      No, you just put your dick between the pages while you’re laying down on a trampoline and get your friends to bounce you

  • mechoman444
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    28 days ago

    Coincidence that Lindsey Graham kicks the bucket and Mitch McConnell makes a public statement that he’s alive and well I think not.

    Mitch just needed one of his own kind to survive.

  • Synapse
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    28 days ago

    Don’t you rather have these fuckers stand trial and be actually convinced? I know it’s a long shot, but death of old age is to kind for them.

    • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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      28 days ago

      Where have several court cases got us? Nowhere, and into his second term. We didn’t even get anywhere with the Panama Papers, and that was just averagely rich people and bankers.

      Heart attacks will have to do.

    • orioler25
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      28 days ago

      I’d rather some more just form of death than anything having to do with the US “justice” system.

      When someone is dangerous, honestly, it’s just better for everyone that their ability to commit harm is immediately ended. These men are already all old and whether by natural causes or a victim’s bullet, they just need to die. A court case would mean years and years of platforming and then ultimately a dissatisfying compromise.

      • NewSocialWhoDis@lemmy.zip
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        28 days ago

        Yea. I think Aileen Canon, the Supreme Court rulings, and the Georgia prosecutor BS proves that our justice system isn’t functional and would in no way stop these people.

    • bridgeburnerBanned
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      28 days ago

      Yeah but that’s never gonna happen as long as we live in a world ruled by greedy billionaires. So yeah, mfs like McConnel dropping dead is a good compromise, cos that means they can’t continue making lives of every normal citizen worse.

    • kevinsky@feddit.nl
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      28 days ago

      This would be ideal, but if anything has become abundantly obvious over the last decade or so it would be that laws are only for the common folk.

    • OhShitSon@lemmy.zip
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      28 days ago

      Of course, but that’s not going to happen. Death on the other hand, is inevitable.

    • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org
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      28 days ago

      I mean I’d rather Trump live long enough to be convicted, imprisoned (ideally by having alligator Alcatraz repurposed as a prison for convicted former presidents), have his name stripped off everything he’s put it on in disgust, and have even MAGA reject him before he finally goes the way of all men in some suitably painful medical fashion. But that seems unlikely to occur.

      Next Dem POTUS does need to use every power and immunity granted by SCOTUS to it’s fullest before being a sacrificial lamb and getting impeached, then passing laws to prevent thta from ever happening again. Anything important that is held together by “norms” or by “no one would do that” needs to be codified into law explicitly.

      • almost_genocide
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        28 days ago

        There’s no one in power willing to actually convict any of these people. Ultimately their crimes as politicians is that they intentionally do not serve the will of the American people or even their voting base. And if you use that as a guideline to inform who should serve prison time it includes Biden, Pelosi, Schumer, Clinton and a host of other powerful Democratic politicians.

        That whole generation is a lost cause. Let nature usher them out ASAP.

    • Avicenna@programming.dev
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      28 days ago

      Statistically speaking how often would this happen (in the normal day to day life not in a context like the French revolution)? Even then if the person knows too much the trial usually can’t proceed as in the case of Epstein

      • GhostFace@lemmy.today
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        28 days ago

        I’ve posted nudes in other places. As long as you don’t include your face nothing can come of it.

        • Virtvirt588
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          28 days ago

          Yes and no, you’d really need to take precautions here (like taking care of exif data). I’d generally not advise this, however, you do you.

      • Ann Archy
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        27 days ago

        I will pay for it. Out of sheer joy.

        Shit I should start printing my Ding Dong the Rapist is Gone t shirts for the big celebration

  • Ann Archy
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    27 days ago

    Guys

    Guys.

    There will come a day…

    When we won’t have to listen to that dumb fuck ever again.

    Just cherish that thought until it is over. We can do this.

  • MrNesser
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    28 days ago

    Can you imagine if all three trott off within a month of each other. The fallout and shit storm caused would be of epic proportions.

  • DomeGuy
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    29 days ago

    I’m very certain that our Lord and Savior does not want you to be erotically attracted to Her word.

    JC gets a “fully human” pass, but They created us and having your creation be sexually attracted to you is so disquisting it may very well be what led to the flood and the invention of hell.

    • surewhynotlem
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      29 days ago

      Humans are made in God’s image. Humans would 100% create sex bots to be attracted to them. Ergo, god wants sex slaves.