• @AlternateHeadline
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    2621 year ago

    “Florida Man With 91 Felony Charges Worried He Might Serve Prison Time.”

      • @Riccosuave
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        291 year ago

        I hope it’s a few more than several…

      • TechyDad
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        41 year ago

        To be fair, we’re also worried that, if he does, his followers will go violent again. Not that this is a reason to excuse him him prison. It just means that it might not be all rainbows and puppies if Trump goes to prison. Our celebrations might be interrupted by home grown right wing terrorist attacks.

          • TechyDad
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            21 year ago

            I’m definitely not saying that we should go easy on Trump to appease them. We just need to keep in mind that Trump heading to prison won’t be the end of this. We’ll need be be ready to send those terrorists to prison as well.

          • TechyDad
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            21 year ago

            I’m definitely not saying that we should go easy on Trump to appease them. We just need to keep in mind that Trump heading to prison won’t be the end of this. We’ll need be be ready to send those terrorists to prison as well.

      • SpaceBar
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        151 year ago

        Is the NJ federal case about him stealing documents as well?

  • lettruthout
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    1321 year ago

    Many of us fret he won’t.

    • FuglyDuck
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      381 year ago

      I’d be okay with him going into exile in North Korea.

      yeah. let him torture Kim for a while.

      • @PM_Your_Nudes_Please
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        321 year ago

        The realistic conclusion to that would be Trump spilling Top Secret info to North Korea. If not willingly, then via torture. But let’s be honest: It would probably be willingly.

        • @[email protected]
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          211 year ago

          Honestly, I don’t think he has the awareness or attention span to be an accurate mole if he’s limited to working from memory.

          • @Daft_ish
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            1 year ago

            Lol absolutely. Can you imagine Trump trying to recite government intel from memory?

            “So the document said bigly assets were all all over the country. My uncle, college professor in the nuclear — Hillary! Can you believe that, folks? Hillary. Johnathan Trump, went to MIT did the thing, this and that. Tremendous, it was tremendous this government secrets I am telling you now.”

            • @[email protected]
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              61 year ago

              And as he’s saying it, his voice just keeps getting softer, like he’s telling you a bedtime story.

          • @Zippy
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            21 year ago

            Real question. What information could he provide that would be of real value? Inside policy but I suspect if the policy makers knew he was spilling the beans, they would adjust as needed.

            Technical information? I doubt he barely knows how to use a smart phone much less give details on a f35.

            I would be curious what the intelligence community would consider high risk if a past president flipped.

        • @Archer
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          61 year ago

          He’s such a narcissist all they would have to do is stroke his ego

        • @[email protected]
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          5
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          1 year ago

          This actually highlights one of the problems (as a strategy, ignoring humanitarian concerns) with torture- whether or not someone will break has nothing to do with whether they have real, useful information. Once they break, they will say whatever they think their captors want to hear.

          The primary (strategic) alternative is to befriend them; convince them you’re on their side. A tactic that has been shown to be extremely effective on Trump. He’ll gladly spill whatever he thinks he knows as soon as they say something nice about him.

        • FuglyDuck
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          11 year ago

          Good point. We should maybe abduct both of them, and turn it into a reality tv show. Like The Truman Show. but real.

          • @[email protected]
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            21 year ago

            Nope, he would absolutely thrive on something like that; anything less than consignment to the dustbin of obscurity is too good for him.

            • FuglyDuck
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              01 year ago

              He absolutely wouldn’t thrive on being forgotten by everyone except his jailers.

              He feeds off the attention.

              • @[email protected]
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                11 year ago

                Am I missing something? You suggested he and Kim should be documented 24/7 à la The Truman Show

                • FuglyDuck
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                  11 year ago

                  Well. maybe not… 24…7… nobody wants to see, uh, most… of that…

        • FuglyDuck
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          1 year ago

          Probably. But, like. just hear me out. They’d hate each other’s guts. It’d be like Grumpy Old Men, except they’re not fighting over a woman, and they were never actually friends.

          • @grabyourmotherskeys
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            51 year ago

            And their narcissistic pride would force them to appear in public broing it up on the golf course.

            • FuglyDuck
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              11 year ago

              i wonder which one cheats more…

              • @grabyourmotherskeys
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                1 year ago

                “-4. Huh.” – North Korean caddy

                Yeah, good point. I’m guessing Trump would be the sober one so he’d probably be a little more subtle about… no, this is an unsolved problem. I think we need to get them together and see what happens.

                “Guys, what would really impress your long dead fathers and finally make them love you is if you both bare knuckle boxed, but in a bear pit. You can take the bear on together first or let the winner do it. That would be so cool.”

                • FuglyDuck
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                  41 year ago

                  Borris Johnson gets to be the caddy.

    • Chainweasel
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      1 year ago

      I was solidly in that boat for a while too, but seeing how many of his co-conspirators are tripping over themselves to testify against him lately gives me hope.
      That’s the problem with surrounding yourself with shady people who only have their own interests in mind. They’re not loyal to him, he only kept them around because they told him what he wanted to hear, and they only told him what he wanted to hear because it helped them advance their own personal interests.

  • Orbituary
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    681 year ago

    I’ll believe it when I see it. We will never see him behind bars. Two tiered justice system.

    • @[email protected]
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      1 year ago

      Absolute best case is house arrest imo, and I’m sure his lawyers will make sure it includes the entirety of his resort, so basically nothing will change

      I’d love to be wrong, but I don’t think I will

      • @gac11
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        101 year ago

        This is my hope as well. At least he can’t hold hitler style rallies if he’s confined to the resort though.

        • @Thecornershop
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          101 year ago

          There’s a lot of space at that resort for guests. I’d bet he’d set up stadium seating and sell tickets to his regular “Rallies” which MAGA types would absolutely flock too like it’s the new Disneyland. Gross.

          • @Thecornershop
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            41 year ago

            The orange gusher would spew crap daily at noon, more reliably than Old Faithful. It’s be quite the sight.

          • @sramder
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            11 year ago

            This just made me think of a Trump animatronic in the hall of presidents 🤣

    • @SupraMario
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      -241 year ago

      He won’t go and both sides don’t want him to go. It sets a presidence that they the rich ruling class is weak to the rules.

      • @[email protected]
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        121 year ago

        Nah, if you think, say, AOC or Bernie Sanders wouldn’t love to see the door slam behind 45, I think you’re mistaken.

        • @SupraMario
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          11 year ago

          Not say there aren’t people in power who wouldn’t be ok with, I’m saying the majority don’t… otherwise more ruling class would have been in jail and Epstein wouldn’t have been murdered in his cell.

  • @eran_morad
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    461 year ago

    My hope is that he lives for another 5 or 10 years in solitary confinement.

    • FuglyDuck
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      161 year ago

      he probably wouldn’t last a year in solitary.

      • @[email protected]
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        101 year ago

        Solitary confinement isn’t really solitary most of the time. It’s far less pitch black rooms with a slat you slide a tray of slop into, and more of a lights always on, talking to your neighbor through the vents/shouting chess moves at each other.

        Not that it isn’t inhumane in its own way, but many people seem to think that you’re basically sensory deprived and that’s just not the case.

        • FuglyDuck
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          181 year ago

          I mean, what would like to see- which probably is cruel an unusual, but I can be like that sometimes- is trump given a news feed and maybe social media, but he can’t respond/post. he just gets to passively watch as the world moves on and forgets about him.

          • @[email protected]
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            51 year ago

            I would love for Trump to live to 120 with a totally sound mind and experience total irrelevance. That would be wonderful punishment. In a cell would be great, but I’d settle for him to be alone in a cheap motel room with cable TV.

            • @[email protected]
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              11 year ago

              I’ve been saying just that for years. It’s the only thing that fits, total destruction of his towering self image.

          • @jcit878
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            21 year ago

            but only ‘woke’ news, not the cooker shit he consumes

            • FuglyDuck
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              31 year ago

              naw. all of it. together. So he can see the slow slide to irrelevance.

              • TechyDad
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                11 year ago

                And that’s just the thing. The more the news moves on from Trump and talks about other people, the more Trump would label it as woke/liberal/socialist. FOX News could, five years post-Trump-imprisonment, spend all their time on the important right wing subjects of the day and Trump would think they’ve gone lefty because they weren’t talking about him.

  • @IchNichtenLichten
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    371 year ago

    “When you guys put somebody in the car and you’re protecting their head, you know, the way you put their hand over?” Trump said, miming the physical motion of an officer shielding a suspect’s head to keep it from bumping against the squad car. “Like, don’t hit their head, and they just killed somebody — don’t hit their head,” Trump continued. “I said, you can take the hand away, okay?”

    I hope the prison guards remember this, it’s only fair.

  • @DigitalFrank
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    331 year ago

    Yes, I’m sure Rolling Stone has excellent insights into Trump’s private fretting.

    • @[email protected]
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      91 year ago

      because media stalwarts like Meet The Press are doing so great at holding Trump to account huh?

      jfc man, dunno if you noticed the hellscape that is modern media but RS is doing pretty good these days.

    • Roboticide
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      51 year ago

      It’s not like a Rolling Stone journalist went and asked. Journalists have these things called “sources”:

      While Trump publicly professes confidence, privately, three sources familiar with his comments say, he’s been asking lawyers and other people close to him what a prison sentence would look like for a former American president.

      • @DigitalFrank
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        -11 year ago

        three sources familiar with his comments

        That would never have gotten past any decent editor 20 years ago.

        See, if you say one unnamed source, it’s not quite as believable to people who lack critical thinking skills and reading comprehension. Better make it three. Five would be too many.

        The yellow journalists also like to used “experts” (unnamed of course) to pedal their garbage talking points.

        “Three sources familiar with some Rolling Stones writer’s thinking say they like to smell their own farts”

        See, I can make shit up too.

        Actual journalism isn’t quite completely dead, but it’s on life support.

  • BeautifulMind ♾️
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    291 year ago

    I predicted he would die in prison when he clinched the GOP nomination in 2016- there was no way, I decided, he wouldn’t abuse his office and break a shitload of laws. The last 6 years has been a rude reminder that I seem to have wildly overestimated the capacity and will of America’s political and law enforcement establishments to hold anyone like him accountable for even the kinds of crimes he’s confessed to on the record.

    • @[email protected]
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      101 year ago

      See, I very naively thought that it would end with his impeachment. Like, I wasn’t surprised by the law breaking, but I figured that he’d be ousted by a simpler thing like emoluments or something. Oh to be young again…

      • @chiliedogg
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        51 year ago

        And the thing was the GOP establishment could have just let him hang himself. They hate that they’ve become a personality cult, but it’s their own fucking fault for propping this guy up.

        • @machinin
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          11 year ago

          That’s what I don’t understand. They have had so many opportunities to get rid of him. They surely know he’s going to lose the next election, I have no clue why they don’t turn on him.

          • @chiliedogg
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            21 year ago

            They’ve allowed him to build a personality cult. If they don’t bend the knee they lose their seat in the primary.

    • @[email protected]
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      51 year ago

      I figure he knew where he was heading the moment he learned Hilary had conceded.

      His (starving) brain worms have made an impact since then but I swear, from the look on his face, that he knew where he would end up.

      • @[email protected]
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        81 year ago

        The Trump team was definitely not expecting to win in 2016. Trump himself looked borderline despondent.

  • FuglyDuck
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    271 year ago

    “They really don’t like me, they’re mean… they’re trying to send me to prison. They’d have done it too, though.”

    • @eran_morad
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      181 year ago

      Wtf. I can’t tell if this is a direct quote or you’re just making shit up for lolz.

      • FuglyDuck
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        121 year ago

        It was me making shit up for lulz. but I like to think it’s something he’s muttered in the mirror. Instead of the “Gosh Darnit, People like me”

    • @kescusay
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      81 year ago

      That sounds a lot like something he’d actually say.

      • @0110010001100010
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        91 year ago

        Yeah we’ve really hit the point where it’s impossible to tell if that’s an actual Trump quote or made up.

        • @Fondots
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          41 year ago

          You can tell if there’s a big word that’s used correctly that it’s fake, beyond that it’s anyone’s guess

  • @BonesOfTheMoon
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    261 year ago

    I think it’s important to cover his trials but I wish we’d ignore these articles which are rooted in gossip and nothing more. It’s just clickbait.

    • Tedesche
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      31 year ago

      I understand your complaint, but I do relish the idea of Trump being worried shitless about this. And while the article’s sources are obviously questionable and it is merely hearsay, I personally do think Trump is terrified of going to prison. This is a man who has known nothing but wealth and privilege his entire life; spending his remaining years in a jail cell means not just a loss of his favored lifestyle, but public humiliation as well, which—for a malignant narcissist like Trump—is probably the worst part of it.

      • @1847953620
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        -11 year ago

        That’s a weird way of saying “support bad journalism that tells you what you want to hear, it’s ok to keep watering journalism down”

        • Tedesche
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          01 year ago

          Not what I was saying at all, but you obviously just see what you want to see in other people’s words, rather than trying to actually understand them.

          Fuck off.

          • @1847953620
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            -11 year ago

            “I do understand your complaint, but - [let me write you a paragraph explaining why the article tickles my jollies, oh boy!]”

            It’s not hard to see why that sounds like a counterpoint being made. Especially since if it wasn’t, then it’s really just a pointless comment.

            You may now fuck off.

  • @dangblingus
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    241 year ago

    Apparently he just “ordered” congressional GOP members to shut down the government so they can’t fund the DOJ lmaooo someone is getting desperate.

    • @assassin_aragorn
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      61 year ago

      It’s beautiful. Republican leadership knows they’ll get the blame if there’s a shutdown and they’re trying to avoid it, and Trump tries to muck that up.

    • @DigitalFrank
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      41 year ago

      A large portion of the Republican Reps don’t like Trump any more than the Democrats. I’m sure they are following his “orders”

      • @Madison420
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        71 year ago

        Sure but they’ll still suck his dick in hopes that he ejaculates a nomination.

      • @chiliedogg
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        41 year ago

        But for 6 years they’ve propped him up, and now they’re stuck with him. They could have let him hang himself and gotten President Pence (who the GOP would have loved) in the first year of Trump’s term, but they didn’t.

    • DrMango
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      11 year ago

      Source? I’d love to share that one in the group chat

  • @Jackcooper
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    241 year ago

    So how does secret service work here

    I assume he’d go to the lowest security safest place ever

    • @[email protected]
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      301 year ago

      More likely he’d go to an insanely high security place, he can’t be trusted around other people.

      ADX Florence is built for exactly that kind of prisoner: spies, terrorists, etc.

      • @WaxedWookie
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        161 year ago

        I think the chances are that he’ll be on house arrest in Mar-a-lago. He deserves supermax, but when has what people deserve been relevant in the criminal “justice” system?

        • TechyDad
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          31 year ago

          I feel like this might be the best case given the security requirements. Obviously, Mar-A-Lago wouldn’t be allowed to operate as a club anymore. The Federal government could take it over and turn it into Trump Prison. Nobody would be allowed in unless they were working to support Trump Prison.

          Strip one bedroom down to the bare walls and put a prison cot in there. Keep the door locked from the outside with guards posted 24/7. Trump stays in there all the time except for meals and an hour of “outside time.” The room has no TV and he’s not allowed any electronics so there wouldn’t be any tweeting/“truthing”/etc from his home-turned-prison.

          When he goes to eat, he’ll walk past the bare walls that used to signify that he was the King Of The Complex. Now, they’ll only signify glory days long gone. A bruise to the ego with every step. When he sits to eat, he’ll be in the same dining hall where he used to get served fabulous meals. (Or, at least, what passed for “fabulous” at Mar-A-Lago.) Instead, he’ll get standard prison food.

          Even his “outside time” would be bittersweet to Trump. Instead of time outside talking with bigwigs on the way to go golfing, he’ll be shuffling around with armed guards nearby and no bigwigs to lavish praise on him.

          Trump would be an empty shell of a man living in an empty shell of a club.

          • @[email protected]
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            21 year ago

            Grounded for life. If that were the case, I’d be okay with it for sure, fits for a big sloppy baby like him.

          • @WaxedWookie
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            11 year ago

            They’re not going to treat it like real prison for him - I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t have the run of the resort… Likely including daily golf.

          • @WaxedWookie
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            11 year ago

            I’ll be pleasantly surprised if he doesn’t have the run of the resort.

              • @WaxedWookie
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                11 year ago

                I’d personally like to see him mummified in gympie gympie… Embrace his Australian roots and whatnot.

        • @sramder
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          11 year ago

          I was really hoping for the presidential desk crammed in a cell. Him all dressed up like he’s still going to work every day… reduced to rubbing Cheetos on his face because he can’t get bronzer.

        • @tacosplease
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          11 year ago

          This is what I’ve always expected. He’ll live the rest of his life like an arrested drug kingpin.

  • @[email protected]
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    171 year ago

    If someone tells you they cannot let something enter their mind, that means they are thinking about it constantly.

  • @books
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    161 year ago

    Thoughts and prayers, 45.

  • @boatsnhos931
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    141 year ago

    What if he turns into a devout Muslim in prison?

    • @[email protected]
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      31 year ago

      Nation of Islam is like “WE DO NOT ALLOW PORK TO WORSHIP”

      I could see it happening tho, “I am no longer Donald Trump, I am Quarter-Pounder-with-Cheese Shabaz Mo Frommage”

      but whenever anyone attempts to address him that way he looks confused.