To some, this would be a forgettable shitpost. To my five year old, a shabby library printout of this would be a prized possession.
Fuckin saved
Your kid will go to bed at 8 sharp like a clockwork
WOLF PACK RULE NO 1: CRANK THAT HOG AWOOOOO
HECK YEAH!!!1?! ARROO
SLEEP HYGIENE IS IMPORTANT MFERS
The rules are more like a set of guidelines. You’re not really beholden to them.
(Means ‘fuck you, I’m not going to bed.’)
Capt. Skull N Crosseyes clarifies “Bedtime” is polite misnomer for the nightly boning.
We’re gonna bone this turkey by sunrise or your pizza’s free.
Wait
I forget which job I’m at
Mmm… turkey pizza… 🤤
Deee*bone this turkey. I know it’s a little overwhelming the Thanksgiving Deep dishes are a lot of work this time of year but worth it for the honor of wearing this Capt Crosseyes Morning Pizzeria apron and startin’ every day the Capt Crosseyes way.
Aw fuck
Save it for eight and take a rum break man you seem stressed
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Complaining about not wanting to go to bed is even more juvenile.
We’re not complaining. We’re just not doing it.
Now you’re just pitching a tantrum.
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The fuck it’s not! My wife let’s me stay up as long as I want!
…unless it’s a work night…
I’ll stay up as long as I damned well please. I do what I want 'cause a pirate is free.
You are a pirate.
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The first rule is: You don’t talk about Pirate Club!
And the third rule is: signal for at least two blinker flashes before changing lanes or braking so the people around you can respond accordingly.
A very round about way of saying bmw drivers are not allowed to be pirates
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I don’t want to catch anyone not drinking
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Hoo boy, I sure love waking up a 3am.
Rule 3 you have to be awake after 9pm hence the picture poor soul hes only been getting 1 hour of sleep
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Worst buttpirate ever
Your rules suck
