you mean god doesn’t think he’s an awesome god?
He’s very insecure and needs modestly talented, failed pop stars to cheer him up and boost his confidence.
Every Sunday I wondered why does the creator of everything that has existed as long as the universe exists went through so much work just to hear me sing how great it is.
Maybe it is a kind of dragon ball situation and us singing gives it power?
You have to travel the world attending holy Communion with your Jesus radar to find the sacred Jesus Balls to summon the mighty Shen- I mean Jesus. He will grant you one wish, unless of course we have a Dende situation, then you get multiple wishes. Too many evil wishes summons evil Shen- I mean the Devil.
Is Jesus from Namek then?
He reignnnnnns…
PTSD flashbacks of being in the church band
Me too. Every time I remember leading worship, I cringe.
OK, I’m with you on early nineties worship music. Looking back now I can’t believe how much I was into that stuff (church indoctrination is fucked up, yo). But honestly, I have a soft spot for DC Talk. Their music was dumb as hell, but it kind of slapped in that weird grunge meets boy-band vibe they had going on.
Ahh I should have made the title “Jars of Clay,” it’s just that was the first christian rock band that popped into my head during the terrifying PTSD nightmares I regularly experience. After long road trips with my southern Baptist mother, I am forever scarred.
Oh yeah, I had like every Jars of Clay album. Our family owned, like, a decades worth of WOW music, every Delirious album, you name it.
I’m sorry about the nightmares. I get it. That shit kept me in the closet for decades. There’s stuff I can go back to now and still feel positive about, but I understand when other people can’t.
When I was a kid it always made me upset that no one knew about Audio Adrenaline because they were so much better than most of the major Christian bands, but they were a bit edgier than the other bands (as far as Christian music can be considered edgy). Quite honestly I didn’t even know the WOW CDs were anything except praise and worship (I only knew of them through TV commercials), nor did I realize how prevalent they were because in my mind they were “old person music”.
In retrospect it makes sense though, because I remember being confused that people suddenly started knowing who Audio Adrenaline were, but none of the songs they knew were their best ones. It was always really tame and safe songs like Big House or Chevette; and to be fair, Chevette wasn’t a bad song, but it wasn’t Some Kind of Zombie or The Houseplant Song.
I also always had the feeling that I started making older adults uncomfortable when I introduced them to Audio Adrenaline and I never understood that. In hindsight I don’t think they liked hearing a supposedly Christian band compare Christians to zombies, nor do I think they liked hearing them criticize and make fun of the “metal sends to you hell” crowd.
That’s kinda how my Christian experience was growing up though. The youth group didn’t have strong feelings about gay people or just thought they were weird (or tried to find loopholes in the Bible that’d let gay people be saved while somehow missing the big glowing neon sign that said “Jesus saves”), while the adults (especially the seniors) thought the gays would sneeze AIDS onto them. The youth group was asking themselves “What Would Jesus Do” while the adults just thought it was a cute phrase and ignored it. They’ll never understand that they drove more people away from voluntarily identifying as Christian than any “”“demonic forces”“” could.
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What’s an example for someone who is unfamiliar?
"Yay god, I love God, we love God, don’t you love God? He’s the best! Better than others! (Here’s 3 slightly modified verses from the Bible songified. Two are out of order but it makes my song sound better.) Yay god. I love God. But like I REALLY love him. God. "
And then while singing, make sure one or both of your arms is in some form of lift. It can be way up like you’re reaching for a rase you know you aren’t going to get, or it can be just 6 inches away from your side, one or both arms doesn’t matter as long as an arm is doing something. That’s how you really know someone is better at religion than you.
I love God so much he took the kids and filed a restraining order against me.
Damn! I want to religion good. What if I don’t have arms?
Well I have some bad news for you… Straight to hell. God apparently only wants arm-lifters.
“My God is an Awesome God”
Any of these, try to hold onto your sanity!
Every day I’m thankful that my mum took me to a pretty liberal methodist church and not the kind of evangelical ones you see on tv. Our sunday school was basically playing Donkey/Horse for money with bible questions.
Omg! That brings back memories of staying home from school with a fever and helplessly laying on the couch watching this commercial.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
for those that grew up in the 90s and watched any tv
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Late 2000’s is where is at
Time is slipping away (away).
