GAZA CITY, GAZA—Following conflicting accounts of a horrific attack on a Gaza hospital, officials from the Israeli Defense Forces released a new statement Wednesday that claimed it was you, the reader of this very article, who committed the act of terror.
Damn the Onion is on fire lately.
So is Gaza.
I do not know if I should upvote or downvote you, but something has to be done!
I don’t know anymore either.
Goddamn bro
Removed by mod
And all it took was a human catastrophe.
Crazy-laugh-cry
So true, its keeping me slightly more sane (less insane maybe more accurate) about the whole mess
I suspected me all along. The signs were all there.
Yeah yeah tell it to the Judge
Pack it up boys, we got him.
It was me all along??
You just didn’t want to admit to yourself!
I am disgusted by my actions.
Before we start this thread can we all agree to condemn your actions?
I am ashamed of my words and deeds.
Shame!
We’ve been trying to reach you about your hospital’s extended warranty…
Thank god I didn’t read the article.
Sorry I was hungry
Have a snickers
you’re not you when you’re hungry
Thanks
Man, that guy that got mad about a joke that called him dense regarding this topic is going to be pissed about this.
You have me as a reference when you apply to The Onion.
What if the real treasure is the hospitals we bombed along the way?
Ahh shit, got found out. Time to run
I KNEW IT!
Dogyote you are under arrest for crimes against humanity
Woopsie doodles
I’m sure I had a good reason
Mah bad
Guess I am banned from leaving my house then
And restricted to 2,279 calories per day.
And no medicine.
Lemme see your knee caps…
I guess I’m gonna die then
