Usually people are rude to you because you are being rude to them without knowing it. Being very blunt and honest may seem like the only logical way to interact with people but normal people don’t do that, it’s weird.

Just try to be understanding that people will take what you say poorly, learn body language as best you can so when you see that negative body language you can explain yourself and your line of thinking. It may not help but the people worth having around will listen and understand why you said what you did or where you are coming from.

Just don’t stop being friendly and kind, even when they are mean. If you feel you can’t be nice just literally walk away from the situation, regroup and go somewhere else and be nice and friendly and kind again, do it to everyone all the time.

If you are always very friendly and nice then when you autism out and say something that to you is just a fact or being honest but to them is insulting, they will be more likely to hear you when you explain your line of thought, and they will be more likely to understand you weren’t trying to hurt them.

There are people out there that just suck and will be mean regardless, but what I wrote about is the case most of the time.

You’re still human. You still get respect, love, and friendship on my end dude. Do you happen to game?

This sucks. And just ignoring it sucks.

It is probably what someone else have said - that it’s just hard to get along with people if they give and expect a lot of communication channels via body language, tone, facial expression, speech tempo, and choice of words, and you aren’t.

There are many tricks to conversation like smile, keep tone light, avoid saying “you” (for some reason this is often aggressive don’t ask me how), but the best way to learn which of these things are most efficient for you to learn is via assistance from people around you.

The hard but sometimes very effective way: If someone is being a jerk to you, go to them and say some version of “I am sorry. I believe I have been rude to you, but I didn’t intend to and I don’t understand what. If you can explain it to me, I will try to avoid it in the future.” Or, failing that, ask their friends in the same manner “I have offended X, and I am sorry about that, but I don’t know what or how to apologize, can you help”.

And for the love of bob, don’t get defensive when they do tell you. Accept and think about it. Often you will realize it was on you. Even if they are wrong, there was still a communication problem that you at least know the location of and may steer clear of.

Sometimes you will find that people lack the introspective skills to help, but when it does work it’s golden.

You don’t need to apologize for ranting here and certainly not for being angry anywhere. We have all been there as well and we are happy to support you while you grapple with this contradiction.

Society has been gaslighting you your whole life, telling you how “ordinary” people live and what you’re “allowed” to feel upset about. They tell you that you aren’t allowed to be mad about this, they tell you that is normal. You try following the rules they give you and you face abuse. You see the behavior of others and recognize that they don’t follow the rules so you try acting just like them, and you face abuse.

Your pain is real and it is okay to be mad that you’ve been hurt.

I’ll include the necessary, if pedantic, statement that, while it is perfectly fine to feel any magnitude of anger, the actions anger inspires a person to make are not always appropriate. Before you make any decisions that would harm yourself or others, try calling the mental health hotline of your country. That is what they exist for and you aren’t wasting their time with your call.

Feel ya. Some people realy act like sugar honey ice tea. And its fine to rant. We all need the oppurtunity to just complain sometimes.

This comunity exists for reasons like this. To get support and be able to have comunication with people that have similair experiences… both the good and the bad.

Take care

I’m not autistic, but two of my kids are. I explain to them that nobody is normal, and we all have our own little world in our mind. It’s ok to be different, and make sure to surround oneself with good people. Sometimes people (esecsilly children) can he assholes, but that’s what’s wrong with them not you.

I’m the only severely visually person in my life, and nobody will understand how different the world is for me. That’s ok though because what they do understand is when I need help, and if they don’t it’s ok to speak up and ask for it.

It’s hard. I do my best, but this world was not made for us. The best thing I did was seek out other people on the sepctrum as friends. We can share tips about Masking, and complain about the NTs in our lives. I find that my NT friends can be understanding and helpful but they are never gonna really “get it.”

It changes from person to person, so what I and others can say here aren’t all valid, especially not mine as I got really lucky with treatment-

For most others, I can’t -obviously- directly tell, but not “suiting” most communities do hit most of us hard. Makes sense for some of us, it is not that most of us mentally can’t comprehend social logic and therefore don’t need friends to be stable, it is that our social logic works different and we need interaction still. Sometimes, it is too different to the point where every aspect just appears alien to us, as NTs are the ones who do weird, unexplained things usually which are what we call (y’know) the “untold rules of communication™”.

For me, it is usually the society that has to cope with my difference, not me- lol. I am different because I am myself; and I like being myself. NT social logic has become some sort of a “second nature” to me, as I am a socially adaptive autistic person (what I call a HFA). I had not experienced anything directly negative from the autism of mine, but that obviously doesn’t suit many here. Not you too, I assume.

I think NTs can understand autism. Yes, they struggle understanding us socially adaptive autistic people even, which I know, doesn’t sound like a good answer for socially “unadaptive” autistic people- but again, I do think it is possible, if proper representations of community can be achieved. I see moderate-severe autistic people here posting in a comprehensible manner whom do many contributions to this community- they are understood here, I think and hope so… It is just a matter of adaptation for them (the NTs). But until then, we have to stick together; since we understand one another despite our huge differences. We understand eachother because we do have this common point- we are all different.

If you need someone to talk to, there are many of us here. Most of us are here for that reason too, lol.