theOnion

  • @Mr_Blott
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    837 months ago

    Let’s face it, it’s because the housing market is destroyed so they have to live with their parents 😂

    • @Syringe
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      257 months ago

      Fuuuuck… Just rolling out the deep cuts

  • Granixo
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    7 months ago

    I love watching porn, i really do.

    But when i’m watching a movie/tv show, i wanna get some actual plot, you know?

    I’m not against the presence of nudity/sex scenes in media. But i’m tired of seeing people on the screen copulating just for the sake of it (again, unless it’s porn).

    I know that there are people who do have casual sex often (it’s kind of a cultural thing), but for a lot of us that’s just isn how it goes (or at least not in our current situation).

    My point is, i want to see good writing, that does not have to force sex in order to be interesting or have high ratings.

    Unfortunately, it seems the more tech we have, the less time and money do the big companies want to invest on making a good product.

    Thus, support independent film makers!!

    • @[email protected]
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      407 months ago

      Hmm… Best we can do is have ol Oppenheimer say his famous catchphrase in the middle of sex. You sure you don’t want that?

    • @Holyginz
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      97 months ago

      My thing is that I know sex sells, and my monkey brain still gets drawn to that stuff. But I dont that it feels like I’m being bombarded by it from all sources. It’s tiring and doesn’t feel healthy.

      • Granixo
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        87 months ago

        Do-do-do-do-do!! Do-do-do-do-do!!

        Do it HEALTHY!! 🥩🥬

        • @samus12345
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          47 months ago

          Sex in movies makes your teeth go grey!

      • Baŝto
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        37 months ago

        It can be too much as you can see in low budget trash movies.

  • @girltwink
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    507 months ago

    I only want gay sex in media. Straight sex makes me uncomfortable.

    • @STUPIDVIPGUY
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      87 months ago

      this is the truth. gen z is not “puritanical” we just don’t like boring cookie cutter shit.

  • @shadowspirit
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    7 months ago

    !The concept of sex in movies already reached its peak with Porky’s, and any attempts to improve on that are just embarrassing.!<

    Never change Onion. 😄

    • @ashok36
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      187 months ago

      Reminds me of their, “Art historians remain confused as to why anyone would create new art when Megadeth’s Rust in Piece already exists.”

  • @[email protected]
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    437 months ago

    Sex is unrealistic. It was created by Walt Disney in the 1930s to make Donald Duck seem interesting, but nobody actually does it.

  • FoundTheVegan
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    7 months ago

    Look, I’m just some boring ace girl who happily lives with her ace girlfriend in our sex less lives. And sure we can appreciate a tasteful sex scene if it serves the plot.

    But GAWD, so much media is horny on main.

    • Wolf Link 🐺
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      187 months ago

      if it serves the plot

      To be perfectly honest, I can’t think of a single movie right now where this would even apply. The movies I can think of wouldn’t exactly change much if those scenes were removed …

      On a semi-related note, I am personally also sick of romance being shoehorned into movies where it doesn’t belong, doesn’t further the plot, or even outright takes away from the main story. WTF was Tauriel doing in “the Hobbit” for example? The literally only point she served was being a flick for one of the less important dwarves, and they knew each other for maybe like six hours of which said dwarf was unconscious for at least four of them. But sure, let’s call it True Love™ and shove it into a movie that’s already nearly 3 hours long. sigh

      I have nothing against romance in movies in general - but it needs to actually fit the narrative at least.

      • @[email protected]
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        77 months ago

        Do you think Jason Vorhees could have killed all those teenagers if they didn’t have sex all over his favourite camping grounds?

      • @some_guy
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        57 months ago

        Under the Skin. It’s an entire movie about sex that manages to avoid anything even close to titillation.

        I mean that as one of the highest possible compliments you could give a film. It’s textbook “nudity for the plot” in a totally non-ironic way. It’s actually impressive, not to mention the film is very well-made in all respects.

        • Wolf Link 🐺
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          37 months ago

          Under the Skin

          I just read up about it and I must admit, it sounds interesting. Might give it a go when I get the chance. Thanks ^^

        • @RaoulDook
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          37 months ago

          Yep John Connor could have never existed without the romantic boning by that penis from the future.

      • @RaoulDook
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        17 months ago

        How about the scene in Mullholland Drive where Naomi Watts masturbates to completion and the camera shows us her view as she orgasms? It didn’t add anything to the plot except to add insight to her character, but I thought it was pretty cool.

        I think people should watch more stuff like that actually.

  • @[email protected]
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    347 months ago

    “It makes my AI girlfriend uncomfortable.”

    Haha, The Onion is killing it, like always.

  • @Donjuanme
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    327 months ago

    My favorite: “We held a meeting and decided being radically open about gender while adopting a puritanical outlook on sex was the best way to shock Boomers to death”

  • @JunglGeorg
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    327 months ago

    “Existence is pain, and sex is just a sedative.”

    🤔 I mean… They’re not wrong

      • @isthingoneventhis
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        7 months ago

        I’m just tired of it being “nudity” but it’s just really gratuitous amounts of boobs and a .00005 second snippet of blurred and backlit man ass. Boobs are good and all, but like I’m tired of it just being an excuse to have naked women thrown into scenes that just… probably don’t need to be there? Shout-out to GOT for giving full frontal male nudity before the show went to shit.

        • @mrbaby
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          17 months ago

          Hodor’s big floppy hog should have got the throne

        • @LifeInMultipleChoice
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          07 months ago

          I have found the opposite lately. Many newer movies shoehorn in a lot of male nudity and minimize naked women. Latest example I can think of was “A Million Little Pieces” I saw the other day. The flaccid practically helicopter scene towards the beginning came out of nowhere and I laughed, and then the shower scene has 2 full frontal men which actually did nothing for the plot. I just checked IMDB to see if I forgot about any nudity from women, but it says there wasn’t any.

          I REALLY thought the shower scene was going to have a plot serving reason… at the end of the movie it is almost as if the writers forgot it happened.

          https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0427543/parentalguide/nudity

          • @[email protected]
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            37 months ago

            Mr. and Mrs. Smith [Brad and Angelina] is the last movie I can recall that actually turned up the heat. Body Heat with Kathleen Turner is the all time champion, imho.

      • @LifeInMultipleChoice
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        57 months ago

        I watch a wide variety of movies, but the number of movies I see where the characters are supposed to be in high school and have sexual acts in them is wayyy to high. 28 year old actor playing a 17 year old, I just feel gross when those parts come up.

  • @[email protected]
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    297 months ago

    Real reason: They all still live at home, have to watch with their parents, and will do until their parents die of old age.

    • @[email protected]
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      587 months ago

      For real. This one got me the best:

      “We held a meeting and decided being radically open about gender while adopting a puritanical outlook on sex was the best way to shock Boomers to death.”

  • @Sir_Simon_Spamalot
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    237 months ago

    Is The Onion doing facts instead of satire now? This hits hard.

    • @[email protected]
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      97 months ago

      The amount of the population that is truly asexual is insanely low, and sex is biologically intended to arouse (in all senses of the word). Gotta reach the widest audience possible, and excite them when reached

      • @frickineh
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        137 months ago

        I think if the sex scenes were done well, that’d be one thing (still wouldn’t interest me, but I can see how they’d speak to others), but most of it is so bad. I finally watched Bridgerton a couple weeks ago and I can’t figure out why people were so horny for 30 seconds of some dude jackhammering away in the missionary position. Like why is it even necessary to show that mediocrity? Just skip it and add a little more plot.

      • snooggums
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        37 months ago

        While appealing to something lost people are interested in logical, the main reason I am fine with sex being less frequent in media is because it is often done so terribly as producer forced love interest crap that distracts from the media. Keep the good stuff, but drop all the bad ones.

        Am gen X, disliked crappy and unnecessary sex scenes while enjoying good ones since before it was cool.

    • @PunnyName
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      67 months ago

      I don’t know what media you’re watching, but I can’t recall much of any in the past few years. Then again, I don’t watch every single movie that comes out.

    • kamenLady.
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      57 months ago

      Why remove the jizz?

      But, again removing the j/, i wholeheartedly agree, with one exception: if it’s done like sam & emma in genV.

      • @guacupado
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        07 months ago

        God that whole universe got so lame with the dicks everywhere. Like it was funny the first couple times in Boys but then they just kept beating that dead horse like the screaming goats in the last Thor movie.

        • kamenLady.
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          17 months ago

          i have to admit, i haven’t watched The Boys yet ( soon ) and but i didn’t see a dick in genV yet - aaaaahhh, you mean that fake dick emma was hanging on in the first or second episode? Ok, yes, there was also the exploding one. Tbh these 2 were pretty funny imo and also intended as a joke.

          When sam & emma have sex, it was really them just having sex - at least for me, it succeeded to show how deep these two connected and how much they care for each other.

          But from what i heard, The Boys really has much more intense sex scenes, intended to make you uncomfortable from the get go.

          • @Donjuanme
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            17 months ago

            Watch the boys and come to your own conclusion.

            I don’t recall too much sex, but when it was it was a pretty major driver.

            I’m very excited for s4, but have no interest in the expanded universe ala genV

              • @Donjuanme
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                17 months ago

                I’m sad to say after enjoying the boys and watching the gen v trailer, I have no desire to watch any episodes of it. If I’m told it’s good I’ll check it out, but it really doesn’t look like my cup of tea (the wife shared this opinion after was watched the trailer together, we both collectively sighed and agreed that if the show were like the trailer it wasn’t for us)

                • kamenLady.
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                  7 months ago

                  I didn’t see the trailer - I’ll see if i find it. I’m interested to see if it matches the actual series.

                  I read an interview with the Showrunner and I’m afraid both series will play closely together in the future. I don’t want to spoil anything, but you may at least have to check out what happened in gen v, if you want to understand the things happening in the boys’ next season , when it starts.

    • @Donjuanme
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      17 months ago

      I’d rather see sex than the ridiculous amount of normalized violence on the average torture porn serial killer prime time detective agency show.