Cooking
Also: cleaning. I’ve had flatmates who managed to take the same time for cleaning the bathroom or the kitchen and yet it somehow still wasn’t clean.
My mom was a fast order cook and when I was a teen she got me to help her run a fast food shop our family ran for a few years. She taught me how to work in a kitchen and how to cook.
Her basic rules were … if you aren’t cooking you’re cleaning, if you aren’t cleaning you’re cooking, and if you aren’t cooking or cleaning, get out of the kitchen.
If you aren’t cleaning as you go, the food prep area will get gross and unsanitary fast. This goes for cooking at home, too.
once I had a flatmate that every time he was cooking he was leaving the kitchen like a warzone and he had used every utensil available in the kitchen. He somehow thought that it was faster for him to focus only on the cooking and after it is completed, to do all the dishes, pots, utensils, glasses, oven trays, scissors, screwdrivers, hammers, drills or whatever else he may had used.
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Some cooking is much, much easier than others. Making a pizza isn’t as much an issue as, say, preparing an exotic bird. Cooking involves a level of aesthetics and physics that I could never master for the very reason I could never scrape the iceberg of those two skills.
For me there are few feelings better in the world than having an entire meal not only cooked by yourself, but grown too! I love grabbing veggies from the garden and making dinner. Something so cool about being almost entirely self sufficient.
Learning how to say no. Having personal boundaries.
Can I have money?
Yes.
No.
But what if he’s the tax collector?
I am a tax fraudster
Biblical or modern?
Could be either one, though now that I think about it, Biblical tax collectors were the ones who were, in a 100% literal sense, state sponsored muggers (due to the fact that Ancient Rome didn’t have an advanced census system to do it systemically with).
I. AM. A. SOVEREIGN. CITIZEN.
It said easy skill
Learn when to say no. I have missed a lot because of this.
Critical thinking. Not enough people stop and think openly about a given problem, situation, or interaction. If everyone took just a moment or two to take into consideration someone else’s perspective, circumstances, or goals, the world would be a lot less divisive.
Sadly, it appears not to be an easy skill for a far too many people to learn.
Thinking itself is not easy for many, and that doesn’t even include the critical .
Critical thinking […] someone else’s perspective, circumstances, or goals,
Did you mean ‘empathy’ instead ?
Not really, no.
Empathy is about understanding the other person’s feelings or experience, usually by being able to share in those things, or experience them vicariously. Empathy can even be used negatively. I believe Donald Trump has at least some empathy. He knows damn fucking well what his stupid words and actions are doing to some people.
I’m talking about objectively taking into consideration the other person’s views, beliefs, and/or desired outcomes and adjusting actions or words based on that.
For example, I don’t have to have empathy for someone who is non-binary to be respectful of their situation. I can’t really know or understand their feelings, because I’m a heterosexual male. I can’t possibly share in their experiences of being confused about gender identity and being ostracised for it. I have no reference point for those feelings.
But I can certainly be objective about their situation and remember that their gender identity and desired pronouns have literally no impact on me. So, rather than be a divisive prick about it and insisting on referring to them in binary gender terms, I can respect those things about them and act accordingly.
Everyone should learn the basics of troubleshooting!
When trying to resolve a problem it’s really important to keep as many variables under control as possible so that you can find the root cause and fix it.
I see lots of people who try a bunch of things without isolating the issue first but can’t figure out what is wrong. Then because they messed with it so much it’s almost impossible to figure out.
This is important for car maintenance, home maintenance, electronics, computers. Just about everything that can break or stop working right in your life.
My skills at troubleshooting are pretty much limited to
“Turn it off and back on again. The slow way. Sometimes twice.”
But you know what? Mostly it works!
Your troubleshooting skills are above average, tbh.
You’ve identified that there’s an issue. You tried something simple to remedy. You even tried it again to make sure.
You didn’t make a bunch of crazy assumptions about what the problem was. You didn’t do a bunch of weird shit all at once to try to fix it. You didn’t do something to make the problem worse.
You’re doing great!
Oh I have to share what just happened! My husband’s power wheelchair suddenly wouldn’t drive. In tilt mode it would still tilt, but in the driving modes it had an error message. By asking in forums he learned that message could mean it thought it was tilted back too much for safe driving, even though it was fully upright. So he tilted way back, and I looked underneath for anything loose, finally tightened one loose screw that I frankly think was unrelated. Then he tilted upright again, giving it an extra couple seconds of push on the joystick, and I pushed forward on the back of the chair. Nothing moved, it was already fully upright. But it did the trick! It’s driving fine now.
Wonderful! And the lesson here is, just fucking try something, anything. Your story made me feel good. Fine job!
There’s also unplugging and replugging, that works a lot.
My dad can’t do this. I’ve tried to teach him but it’s like, a piece of equipment breaks and I’m like “What have you tried so far?” the answer is always nothing because he doesn’t know cars/computers/watches/lights, etc etc.
I don’t know half of those things either but I’ll go over and press all the buttons, if that doesn’t work I google it. I’ve showed him this so many times but it’s like it doesn’t go in and he’s like “But you’re good with these things!” Nope, I’m just hitting it until it works.
Print this out for him: https://xkcd.com/627/
I actually sent that to him, multiple times.
How do I print this out?
A lot of the issues learning to troubleshoot are surrounded around not understanding the problem/not understanding the system enough to determine where the problem is. Generally, if you have no idea what the issues could be, you end up trying a bunch of stuff and messing everything up more and people get frustrated you didn’t ask for help sooner, or you do nothing and people get frustrated you haven’t tried anything before asking for help. This may be a perpetuated problem if someone doesn’t have the foundational knowledge to understand the type of system, or if it’s just totally out of their wheelhouse and they don’t have them mental capacity to try and understand any aspect. This can be seen when people have little to no understanding of: cooking and/or baking, car repair, computer repair, fruit and vegetable farming, sewing clothes or clothes mending, etc. we can pay people to do these things for us because there is so much complication in modern life most don’t know how to do everything.
Swimming. It could save your life.
If only it was as easy as getting to a certain point and learning. In which case maybe I wouldn’t have to say I can’t.
Learn where all the shut off valves for your waterlines are at your house or apartment. When you have a leak is not the time to find out or rather figure out where your shut off valves are at. if you don’t know where your shut off valves are at, what could’ve been a minor water mess could turn into a major bill.
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LOL, the ‘key’ is literally called a “water key”. Good job!
(Pliers, of most sorts, work as well, but they’re a PITA vs. an actual tool for the job.)
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Swimming.
It’s easy and it will save your life.
Parents threw me in a class when I was 5. Scared shitless, screaming bloody murder, all that.
And I did indeed save my own life. And I was swimming with a certified lifeguard. Read on…
19, second year of college, fucking around with my neighbor, who I got to fuck, because I lived.
Perfectly still pond, nothing crazy. We were a bit drunk but had our wits about us. For some reason, I lost it. No idea what happened.
Went down like a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Literally. Hand sinking for the third time.
(At this point, I would recommend you all watch a video of what drowning looks like. It probably ain’t what you think. You might save someone’s life.)
Thought, “Figure this out or die. This very second.”
Remembered my lessons on floating, got my lips above water and took a sip of air. Stopped fighting, floated back up, did it again. After 3 or 4 tries, I had enough air to calm down, lay on my back and breathe. Just dandy after that. Went home, got laid, and here I am typing this dumb comment 30+ years later.
Learn to swim no matter if it scares you or not.
When I was a pre-teen I was trying out a Boogie Board and a wierd current pulled me much further out into the ocean with much more force than any of the other waves, but years of swim lessons had me more focused on finding upward and trying to stay in place than panicking so I got dumped back onto the beach conscious instead of needing the lifeguard to drag me out
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
watch a video of what drowning looks like
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
I wish I’d learned a few useful knots earlier in life. Saves so much time when you know how and which one to use.
The ones I use the most are the square knot, taut line hitch and once a year the truckers hitch for tying down the Christmas tree to the top of the car.
https://scoutlife.org/outdoors/176401/how-to-tie-the-7-basic-scout-knots/
Video guides are nice, but I prefer Grog’s Knots. He even has an app for offline knot learning, say, when you’re deep in the woods and it’s raining hard and your tent’s rain cover blows off into the lake and you thankfully brought a tarp and rope but don’t know how to make one of those adjustable knots that you can just slip-tighten. You know, theoretically speaking.
On a side note and completely unrelated, bring one of those big grout sponges when you go camping. In addition to mopping up all the water in your tent, it makes a nice pillow if your inflatable pillow decides to run away in the night in a storm and go swimming in the lake.
TL;DR: I hate camping.
I love that website. The surgical knots were nice to have in place to reference.
TL;DR: I hate camping.
I was a boy scout in serious camping territory. Wow, do I hate camping, now. And, as a poor kid, winter camping can fuck right off.
If you can’t tie a knot, tie a lot.
And if anyone is having trouble with that last one, here’s a useful video guide.
Square knot, Trucker’s hitch, and bowline are the ones I use the most.
For others, I use an app, animated knots, where you can have a favorites list.
For me, it’s sheet bend, bowline, and round turn and two half hitches. I also tuck a lot of eye splices, but that’s more just for fun; a bowline will work fine most of the time instead.
Tall ships?
Man I’m an Eagle Scout and I forgot how to tie the basic knots already. It takes repetition and practice, I mostly use the square knot so that’s the only one I probably remember.
CPR. You may not think about it in your day to day life, but in an emergency it’s a very low hanging fruit to save someone’s life. If someone is not breathing, chest compressions baby… go to town.
And FYI for anyone reading this, mouth to mouth isn’t really recommended anymore.
First call 911 or have someone else do it. Then start chest compressions for as long as you can. Switch off with another person if you need to. But keep going until paramedics arrive.
Exactly. I’ve never actually seen anyone do mouth to mouth in real life, only in movies.
have someone else do it.
I feel this kicks the ball down the field a bit. It definitely fails strong induction.
Usually, it would be you telling someone “call 911 right now” while you start chest compressions.
It’s important to direct your command to a specific person rather than “someone” because of the bystander effect.
Love the Heart Runner system in Denmark and Sweden. Wish the US had something like that.
First aid! I did a four day course many years ago and I still use the training in so many things. The final day we had to navigate a bus crash scenario and the part that stuck with me was the taking ownership and delegating roles when other people might be scared to act. I think it really instilled in me an ability to turn panic into action, and you can use the triage playbook in so many ways.
I learned that too… knowing what to do in an emergency also reduces the level of panic you experience while you do it.
I did a course 2/3 weeks ago, highly recommend it.
First off, love this question!
Active listening and validating someone’s emotions. Relationship skills in general honestly! Like how to adress the core attachment need in a disagreement instead of just the surface issue.
For those in the US: Learn how to file your own taxes. It’s really simple for the large majority of people, and usually just consists of copying numbers into boxes off a sheet your employer made for you. After you’ve done it once, subsequent times you’ll probably have it done yourself in less than half an hour.
You can do it for free on a ton of sites unless you make significant income, freetaxusa is typically the most highly recommended one.
FreeTaxUSA is the best. TurboTax can eat my ass.
Intuit and H&R Block are the reason we have this depraved, inhumane, anti-consumer tax system. They’ve created the laws that make it necessary to use tax prep software. They should not be rewarded for this by getting business for that very tax prep software. Everyone should say no to TurboTax.
There are always a bunch of perfectly good competitors to them listed. Use those competitors. For most people it’s totally free.
Indeed.
A better tip is to just maintain and monitor your finances on a regular basis. At least once a month sit down and quickly review all your income and expenses. Then at least two or three times a year do full detailed review just so you know where your money came from and went and when it all happened.
I wish I knew this earlier in life.
Think about it, what did you spend your money on two weeks ago? A month? How much did you make in the past month? What did you spend your money on?
Sure many people can give an estimate off the top of their head but it makes a big difference if you can see it all written out and documented in front of you.
Isn’t the IRS rolling out an actual free filing program this year?
Yes, I’m not sure if it’ll be ready by this year’s tax season or not, but it was happening. Last I heard they were doing some limited runs on it.
Sewing, by hand or by machine.
Pollution from “fast fashion” is one of the most insidious types of pollution and one of the highest source of microplastics.
Knowing how to sew has allowed me to keep some garments looking new for over 15 years.
I still have a “snakes on a plane” themed hoodie from 2007 that is still going strong, thanks to sewing and proper washing/drying.
Knowing how to separate your clothing for washing is also helpful in this regard, because it also can make clothes last longer. T-shirts can last a decade if they’re washed on a delicates cycle and hung out to dry.
I honestly could give a flying fuck if everything I own is out of style, I’m fucking old anyway.
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In this economy? Lock picking.
Most locks are so garbage they don’t have to be picked. There’s a guy on Youtube that opens locks by whacking them together.
Oh yeah, LockpickingCaveman, great channel. :-P (it’s actually LockpickingLawyer.)
Raking a lock, even. So easy. Doesn’t always work on all locks, but enough of them.
If ‘the economy’ is why you ‘need’ to overcome access restrictions, then you were a criminal before ‘the economy made you do it’ too.
Mindfulness. You may not be able to turn off the (insert negative feeling here), but you absolutely can turn off the suffering.
I tried guided meditation daily for two months and didn’t really notice a difference. Do you have any recommendations?
EDIT: I should mention this was with the Headspace app, following their mindfulness uh… lessons.
It took about a year to make a difference for me.
I guess they call it mindfulness practice for a reason
A year! I didn’t really know what to expect, so two months seemed like more than enough.
… With an app…
Oh man I tried meditation with Headspace too and I couldn’t hack it. For some reason meditation made me so angry! Like this weird rage would come out of nowhere.
I did find it frustrating that the narrator would give a prompt for what to do, then just enough quiet time to begin, and then interrupt my effort with his talking. Aggravating! But the anger was a separate thing.
I always thought meditation was supposed to help you feel calm and grounded but all it did was frustrate me. :(
I’ve heard of people having similar reactions to yoga.
Lol that’s really funny…I actually hate yoga too, but it doesn’t provoke rage, just annoyance because the last thing I wanna do is listen to some white lady done on about chakras! But for it to provoke anger in inmates is disturbing.
It made you feel something. Now sit there quietly and think about why that is. What are you getting frustrated with? Why is it bothering you? Unfounded rage is trying to tell you something about yourself. There’s a reason, but you have to be able to be honest with yourself to figure out what it is. Once you can begin to understand it, you can begin to find ways to manage it.
I feel frustration because it sounds like you are right and that is not helping.
I’ve had good experience with the Waking Up app, which is primarily Insight Meditation. If you can, a multi-day silent retreat allows you to be truly immersed in the practice of just watching your mind and all of its silliness.
I use the Great Meditation Youtube channel.
For this topic, it’s far from what I would call an easy skill; I’m going on six years and it still feels like a weak muscle. But it can be really helpful.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Great Meditation Youtube channel
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
When I was little, meditation was the buzz. I’ve tried it many times and I just found myself “sitting in style”. Meditation is described as inspired by hypnosis but they never tell you what to do when you’re from the small percentage of people immune to hypnosis.
I have no doubt some people struggle more than others to get to the point where they can sit back and watch. It wasn’t immediately obvious to me either, but a couple of months of short daily practice enough to start seeing what the fuss was.
I mean, mental illness is still going to exist, no matter how much power you give your mind.
Mental illness is treatable, and being aware of the symptoms as they’re happening is a major part of the treatment for many such illnesses.
Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it completely goes away. Mental illness is the human equivalent of software issues, the very definition entails you can’t be like Neo from the Matrix and seize one’s own mind.
I’m not understanding your comment. Mindfulness is paying close attention to the actual experiences in consciousness, as opposed to just being carried along by thoughts. It’s not about taking control of your mind.
Oh. Yeah that makes sense then. The way you described it in your original comment made it seem like gnostic-esque advice.
Be kind
I wish being kind was easy. Sometimes I feel like kindness is one of the hardest things to do.
Sometimes it is, but that’s part of why it’s so valuable.
“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater
Rewind.
