Not to kink shame but is this some sort of cuckold thing I’m too asexual to understand?
Nah, you aren’t supposed to have sex before marriage.
They get around this by putting a penis in a vagina but not moving at all. Someone else jumps on the bed to cause the movement.
They get around this by putting a penis in a vagina but not moving at all. Someone else jumps on the bed to cause the movement.
But like does a significant amount of people actually do this?
No, it was just a dumb hoax.
I knew guys who thought bjs and anal weren’t sex, so jebus would still love them
The ol’ poophole loophole.
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I was hoping someone would post that
I knew before I even opened the link
What did they think sodomy meant?
Being gay.
The old poohole loophole
I don’t even know if this is something that actually happens or just internet rumors…
No.
Mormon God: Damn, they got me.
Are they fucking morons? Just use a horse riding machine
Are they fucking morons
Close, they are mormons fucking
To be fair, the difference is so small you can barely tell.
the difference is so small you can barely tell
Guess you could say it’s pretty fucking close.
That’s what she said?
No, they’re mormons.
Do they quantum teleport the dick? Because insertion… involves movement?
No they dissassemble it and carry the pieces on their shoulder and reassemble it at the worksite.
Edit: sorry wrong community.
It doesn’t count if it is an accident. So they pretend that one of them lands on the other
…they would still be moving around
The earth is moving at 107226km/h, they would be moving anyway.
Ahhh, but then that’s someone else’s fault for jumping on the bed.
Next step - the poop-hole loophole!
Do Mormons not use the poophole loophole?
If ya gotta jump through these hilarious hoops to not feel bad about fucking, can we at least optimize?
Can’t you just soak and un-soak repeatedly? Is there a skill cool down that has to be respected to not make sky grandpa mad?
sky gramps is into all of this already
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Even with a cooldown, there’s two people. Can at least hit a combo.
There’s a 5 minute cool down period between each soak, unless you purchase the atheist pack in the store, which cuts the cool down, but you run through stamina quickly.
Religion: God is all knowing, all seeing and wise.
Also religion: If you ask your friend to move you inside a vagina, god won’t know you’re fucking!
God knows but you technically didn’t break the rule
Some real “I tied a string to my friend’s house so it’s technically one house and I didn’t travel there on the Sabbath” energy
Where are these friends that would “move you inside a vagina god”?! 😱🔥❤️
Damn you!
I mean, God will forgive all sins if you pray sorry after. I think They are pretty gullible.
Sounds like a threesome with extra steps
Foursome (God watches)
The lord is watching you sinners! (He didnt say stop)
The oldest cuckold. 🤢
*fewer
As my Mormon friend said, God is like a T Rex, it can’t see you if you don’t move
😂😂😂
Actual Ex-Mormon who attended BYU here: Soaking was never a thing, I have only ever heard about it on the internet or literally in the context of Mormons laughing about non-Mormons believing in Mormons doing such things (yeah, they’re meta about it).
What is an actual thing is Mormons getting married super early (for a multitude of reasons, one being the horny). Easily over 70% of the students I knew were married by the time they were seniors in college.
Sorry to break it to you but I also attented BYU and soaking was totally a thing, we just never invited you.
Someone, call the police! This was an absolute murder!
It’s funny cause there are no real winners in all this.
Good. Don’t ever invite me.
I can’t confirm or deny your claims about soaking, because I never went to BYU.
However, I did live in a smallish town in Utah for a year, and I can confirm I saw more married and pregnant 18 year old teens in that one year than I’ve seen in the entire rest of my life.
So the jump hump is real?
Just fuck already
Every porn I have ever watched.
Allow me to introduce you to a wonderful tool: the seek bar
But then I’ll miss important plot points! How can I understand how they got into that position without the context!?
Mormon - m = Moron
Mormon - m = Oro
Did you mean oron?
I can’t tell if that is a purposeful typo or not.
mormon - 5*n = Oro
Technically it’d need to be:
mormon / 2m = oron
A word isn’t a product of letters, that would made mormon = nomorm, but an ordered set, where the subtract operation gives you the first set without any element also found on the second set (in set notation A-B = A-(A intersection B)
You’re right, that would be more technically correct.
If words are an ordered set, then mormon = morn
Words are a base 27 integer. (mormon - mon) / a000 + on = moron
Perhaps…
Mormon - m + e = oreo
Windows user detected.
You’re socase-insensitive, ba-dum-tss.Oro+a-o= ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!
the remainder n needs to be accounted for
The n stands for nothing, therefore it’s invisible.
deleted by creator
Math ✔️’s out.
Mormon - m = m (Moron - 1)
Or… ormon… oron
Im intrigued. Is there any porn of this?
The answer to that question is always yes.
Well I’ve looked and couldn’t find anything. So I’m going to say it doesn’t exist.
It is your duty to make it then. I am expecting completion from you by the start of next week.
I’m gonna need you to go ahead and write, produce, direct, and star in this porno by close of business tomorrow.
Hahaha sometimes religious people are hilarious
I attended BYU-I in person for three years. There was a lot of dumb s### that happened there, but I can say with confidence this wasn’t one of them. To not be a buzzkill though, I’ll share an actual saying that people use around campus: “BYU I do.” Because like 80-90% of students there expect to be married by the time they graduate.
Thanks for the insight - jump humping and soaking sound like the kind of bullshit my parents would believe because it was featured in some local news story.
Most “teen trends”, especially those related to sex, are just wildly blown out of proportion “stories” based on a couple of people trying something weird, someone else hearing about it, and now suddenly all the teens are doing it.
It reminds me of being in high school when my mom asked me if my girlfriend’s jelly bracelets were a sex thing because she heard about girls owing sex acts to guys who can break one.
I never heard of the jelly bracelet thing, but now I’m thinking about how that sort of thing can be way stronger than it looks.
I have some TPU filament that’s stretchy enough to feel flimsy, but after I realized I somehow couldn’t snap it, it became kind of a strength challenge. The strongest guy I know couldn’t snap it, and he bent a 36" pipe wrench once. But then again, there weren’t sex acts on the line.
It’s a repression thing, they can’t face having sexual fantasies of their own so their mind tricks them into thinking they’re super interested in every news story about wild sex things - suddenly they’re up all night imagining wild and perverted things that are probably happening, but not because they like thinking about those things they reassure themselves, they’re a good moral person trying to protect civic morality…
Read interviews with satanic panic people, endless vivid details right out of an extreme romance novel. Tiktok human trafficking panic is another example, those videos with obviously made up warnings about sex rings and kidnapping methods - it’s all structured just like it’s porn equivalents.
Out of curiosity, did most of the people there actually follow the no sex rule? I know at some of the Christian colleges I’ve been to, there are lots of people who do have sex, they just have to be secretive enough about it. Of course, a good portion of kids at those colleges were just pressured to go there by their families, but aren’t that religious themselves. 🤷
I don’t know any Mormons, so idk if it’s remotely similar at a school like BYU.
brainrot
Indoctrination
I’m a Mormon, and this just can’t be real. Sexual contact is sexual contact. How would people told to leave enough room for a Bible between them while dancing think that this would be okay?
I’m convinced this rumor exists just because people want it to be true.
Tide pods
I can’t speak for this particular practice, or for Mormons, but things like the poophole loophole and the clapper are definitely nonsense tricks to try and get one past an omniscient creator - to an outsider (in my case, one that lived in Provo for a short stint), it’s plausible.
Wait, is this same logic why my fridge has a “Sabbath” setting? 🤦🏼♂️
I was just thinking it’s similar to how Jews try to trick god. At least I’m not the only one.
There is a long rabbinic tradition of arguing with each other and god. Look up The Oven of Akhnai
And the real life results of that are awesome.
What does that even mean? Does the door open itself on the hour?
It disables the ice/water dispenser, any ui elements and makes the light not turn on.
What? Your fridge can jump on beds?
And play Black Sabbath. Sweet.
Honestly, I had to ask what that seeing was for. I was further confused by the answer. 🤪
There is a hilarious mockumentary called "Jury Duty (2023) where there is a scene like this.
Worth a watch, James Marsden is in the show as well.
Edit: Here’s a link to the scene
Soaking seems like a particularly egregious loophole.
