• eric
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    1055 months ago

    I had that dog as my interviewer too, but I made the wrong decision.

    When I got the to interview, I immediately remindend him that when I saw him on the street, I said “Sorry I can’t feed you, I have a job interview so that I can get food. You should pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and get an interview so you too can get some food.” And he said “Yes, I took your advice and arrived here first and got the job you were going to interview for, so you’re fired.”

    • @[email protected]
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      375 months ago

      got the job you were going to interview for, so you’re fired.

      Damn, failed so hard you broke causality by being fired from a job you never had!

      • eric
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        175 months ago

        Yep. I already broke the premise, so I thought it would be even funnier to finish by breaking causality.

  • @xantoxis
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    5 months ago

    Yesterday me and my interview candidate went out for a walk during the interview. We came across a starving dog and I realized it was time for a test for my candidate. I asked him, “What would you do with this starving dog to keep profits high?” And then he kicked the dog into the path of a car! Blood and guts and fur everywhere! I smiled and said, “Right answer! You’re hired. But next time make sure you don’t get any on your boss, ha ha!” And he laughed too, “ha ha!”

    And that’s how you hustle.

  • @[email protected]
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    395 months ago

    Not accurate at all. You need a lot more paragraph, even better if you cut them every 2 sentences, and emoji at the end and beginning of every sentences.

    • @Algaroth
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      3 months ago

      deleted by creator

  • @[email protected]
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    185 months ago

    If we cut out the context of that anecdote we get something resembling those weird recovered Sumerian jokes.

    • @beckerist
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      125 months ago

      For anyone else wanting to know more about 3000+ year old humor, please check out Irving Finkel on YouTube. He’s hilarious, intelligent, spunky and keeps his talks interesting. I can kill an hour listening to him before I realize it.

      One example: https://youtu.be/hDA6oIiQS4E

    • @LemmyKnowsBest
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      25 months ago

      They used to give us drivel made-up stories like this at church. Feed a beggar who comes to your house, and later you find out it was Jesus and now you’re eternally blessed. 🫤 yeah that seems sweet and all but I clearly remember one instance when one of our naive church members fell for something like this in the real world and the beggar turned out to be a scam artist.

      And that’s why we modern jaded people don’t do nice things for others anymore.

      But if it was a literal dog on the road? sure :-) dogs aren’t commonly as manipulative and scoundrely as humans can be.

  • @Got_Bent
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    185 months ago

    Somebody could make a great dystopian movie using LinkedIn posts as a basis for the script.

    • @funkyfarmington
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      85 months ago

      It’s not already a dystopian movie that we live in? It sure does feel like one.

      • lad
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        15 months ago

        So, a great dystopian documentary then?

  • @edgemaster72
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    115 months ago

    Why was there no body? Is the dog a murderer? Or the interviewee?

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      3 months ago

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  • CarlsIII
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    -55 months ago

    Great. Just when I thought the shitty “nobody” meme was dying, it evolves and makes even less sense.

    • @pensivepangolin
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      195 months ago

      Have you ever considered…not being cranky?

      • CarlsIII
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        75 months ago

        I’ll stop being cranky when there stops being things to be cranky about.

        • @Algaroth
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          • lad
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            25 months ago

            I would say that doing nothing is pretty much between upvote and downvote 😅

            • @Algaroth
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              3 months ago

              deleted by creator

          • CarlsIII
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            15 months ago

            I always figured that’s what upvoting without boosting is.

      • @[email protected]
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        35 months ago

        Nobody:

        Me: I’ll stop being cranky about it when people stop pointlessly appending “nobody:” to their comments

    • kase
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      55 months ago

      If it makes you feel any better, I found the post, and it’s 2 years old lol