PALM BEACH, FL—Asserting that the pair had not been close “for decades” prior to the financier’s death, Donald Trump admitted Friday that his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein was severed after a dispute over dibs on the former president’s daughter Ivanka Trump. “We had a very good time for many years, but it was unfortunately Ivanka […]
Alright. At what point do we admit that The Onion is just serving out legitimate factual stories?
This absolutely happened, right?
Yes it sounds plausible but the timeline does not add up. When Ivanka was 14 they were still friends.
It took me quite the moment to realize this was the onion so likely yes.
I straight up ate the onion this time.