• @mossy_
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    738 months ago

    my toxic trait is thinking I could win a fight with a goose

      • @mossy_
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        308 months ago

        I’m not huge or athletic but I probably weigh, like, twice as much as a goose. I get that they’re incredibly pissy and they have teeth and pointy bits, but I’m still betting on me.

        • @[email protected]
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          368 months ago

          Our battle will be legendary. I may lose my life but I am bringing down the bastard with me.

        • @Maggoty
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          78 months ago

          I grew up near geese. You will not win without just straight up killing it. And you will be more hurt than you could believe.

          • @[email protected]
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            78 months ago

            In this context I think we have to assume life or death tactics by both combatants.

            But that’s an important distinction because MOST of the time we deal with pissed off animals that we don’t want to hurt, much less kill. So that gives some animals a big advantage in real world encounters. Maybe most adults could kill a goose if they had to, but in real life 99% of adults are going to back off or run away rather than deal with a fucking goose!

      • @[email protected]
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        268 months ago

        Punt to the chest. Bird bones are papier mâché. Never get in a fist fight with a goose, their wings will break your arms. Definitely don’t try and snap its spindly little neck. Just kick it in the chest

        • BlanketsWithSmallpox
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          108 months ago

          Maybe if you have little bird bitch arms.

          Me? I’m nothing but arms. With all the typing and masturbation I do, I’m nothing but them.

          Me: 💪🧠 🤳

    • @[email protected]
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      88 months ago

      Me too i don’t know why internet strangers are afraid of them that much, unless you can’t use any type of weapon i guess

      • @Maggoty
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        48 months ago

        That’s the point, yes. This is unarmed.

      • @Death_Equity
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        48 months ago

        They got a lot of neck, necks are usually a pretty good weak point. I have confidence that I will get bit, but I will put a knot in their neck.

        The Waterfowl and Migratory protection acts are the only thing keeping me from proving it.