• southsamurai
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      659 months ago

      When a given demographic is a dominant presence in a given area (not necessarily work, it can be anything), there is a tendency for they demographic to start making assumptions about other demographics.

      In most places, men are the dominant presence, and in most of the “western” world, they will also be white.

      In this case, the individual who a white male was doing what’s called colloquially, “mansplaining”. He was correcting a woman when not only was the woman right, but was the very source he was using to correct her.

      This is a consistent and very unpleasant fact of the world that white men will treat anyone of any other demographic as less than equals.

      In this specific case, I suspect that the person making that post was pointing to the prejudice and stupidity of the person indirectly insulting her being a systemic issue arising from both gender and sexual entrenchment along with the privilege that allows the dominance of the white male demographic despite their being no quantifiable factor for that group to be dominant other than that privilege.

      She, in other words, was pointing out a systemic issue by using an anecdote. Which can be a bit difficult to accept as evidence. Or would be if there wasn’t a good century or so of giant piles of anecdotes from real people pointing to that systemic issue not only existing, but being something that holds everyone back.

      Truth? Yes, women and people of color are going to assume they’re right and whoever they’re talking to is wrong just like any humans will. But white dudes have been pulling that crap for multiple generations, and anyone that isn’t both white and male get sick of the bad behavior.

      • @[email protected]
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        69 months ago

        This is a consistent and very unpleasant fact of the world that white men will treat anyone of any other demographic as less than equals.

        Pls stop generalizing this bad behavior upon all white men. It only serves to further the divide, and is completely unfair and uncalled for against those in the demographic who don’t subscribe to those beliefs or patterns of behavior.

        I’m not sure if that was your intent, that’s just how it comes across and it makes it hard not to completely write off your argument/viewpoints for being unable to respect your neighbor.

        • southsamurai
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          169 months ago

          I’m a white man. I can absolutely generalize about a well known aspect of reality. It isn’t in question that white men are currently in a position of overall privilege, and that as a group that position of privilege has the effect stated.

          I pretty much also said that this is true in the western world where white men are the supposed majority. I said that the same would be the case with any dominant group because humans are just like that.

          A generalization can not only be true in general, but it doesn’t inherently mean that the entire group is at fault (beyond any unintentional benefits from the situation, which is what’s called privilege in current discourse on matters of gender and race in specific, but applies to more than those alone).


          Here’s the thing. Until and unless we, not just as white men (speaking of the group I’m in) work on calling out and correcting bad behaviors as a group, to the point that it ceases to be a problem for others, we are part of the problem, no matter how little any individual likes that.

          Divisions currently exist. They will always exist because any time there is a place of authority/power, there will be those that seek it and use it. Over time, you might see a given demographic shift in and out of that place of power, but it won’t change humans being humans; there will be abuse of power.

          That’s the real key. The fact that white men have held dominance over most of the world for centuries (for a given value of most, and a given value of white) is simply fact. One could argue that the position of dominance really covers all the world since anyone wanting to disrupt that has to contend against that hierarchy. There are definitely places where, within a region* white men aren’t the dominant group, kinda impossible to be otherwise. But trying to pretend that the world isn’t the way it is is just silly.

          • @[email protected]
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            09 months ago

            Completely agree with your points. But also hope you can see it may be more fruitful to appear as though you’re ready to attack the problem, rather than your fellow man.

            I say this because I didn’t read this as an outright attack or denigration of your fellow man, but I very much fear how easily any other man may interpret it and how it could serve to further the divide and make the problem even harder to address. That is my chief concern.

            I appreciate you taking the time to clarify your position fellow internet stranger <3

        • @worldofbirths
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          89 months ago

          I think the generalization isn’t really about white men per se, but about the demographic in power. Give a group unchecked power long enough and they forget how that came to be. I agree that it’s not a rule, and maybe should be expressed as more of a heuristic: if you are speaking to someone that is in power, and you don’t look like them, they might think you are not empowered.

          Don’t let the lack of nuance in that statement take away from all the very valid points being made. The plight is real, and hopefully the white men who are enlightened enough to not confuse circumstance with natural order will read and know to not take it personally.

          • @[email protected]
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            29 months ago

            Thank you for the civil discussion.

            Completely agree about unchecked power and your interpretation of it as a heuristic rather than an ambiguously defined trait.

            I most certainly realize the plight is real and wish it never was like I’d hope all of us can say. But the lack of nuance struck me as dangerous. I understand how disenfranchised men will interpret things, and when people willfully neglect the opportunity to be concise it leaves a worrying amount of room for misinterpretation and effectively is ragebait that can serve to further entrench a misguided incel or the like into their toxic niche.

            And for anyone who thinks I’m overreacting: see how Reddit powermod awkward_the_turtle intentionally acted to provoke men, then wrote off everyone who took issue with it as inherently being member of the ideology they were allegedly targeting. Reddit, the company, enabled and encouraged this mod and their collaborators to attack users on their platform indiscriminately.

            If Lemmy is to serve as only a new platform for abuse, then it deserves to die with the rest of social media. Please, do not let it come to this. Discuss and debate civilly.

      • Melllvar
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        19 months ago

        When a given demographic is a dominant presence in a given area (not necessarily work, it can be anything), there is a tendency for they demographic to start making assumptions about other demographics.

        Isn’t she the one making assumptions, though? Specifically, the “prejudice and stupidity of the person indirectly insulting her” part? I mean, is that really the only possible explanation?

        • @[email protected]
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          9 months ago

          What other reason would you suggest as to why he would assume that he knows more than her or that she couldn’t be the person that he’s referring to? Clearly he didn’t even know her name yet so what did he have to go by to draw those conclusions? It obviously wasn’t her lack of knowledge on the subject that they were discussing now was it?

      • @[email protected]
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        -19 months ago

        I still don’t see why adding the skin color was important, but eh, I have other things to deal with, so I don’t really care, just found it slightly annoying.

        • @[email protected]
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          89 months ago

          Gender not important also, loads of women “mansplain”, it’s a problem with attitude, not gender or race

        • @[email protected]
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          49 months ago

          Because the 'splaining phenomenon is about perceived but unearned superiority which leads the 'splainer to 'splain to someone who knows a great deal more than they do and, crucially, someone who the 'splainer ought to realise knows more than they do but doesn’t because of the illusion created by the society they live in.

          I’d have added “(born) middle-class” because that’s an important part of it too.

      • @[email protected]
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        -119 months ago

        By calling out dominant race they imply that those silent on race are talking about a minority

      • @[email protected]
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        -129 months ago

        If the post said “a Black trans women interrupted me”, would that be also fine, in your eyes?

        • @[email protected]
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          179 months ago

          Are Black trans women known for this kind of behaviour? Are there apologists for Black trans women who make every effort to miss the fucking point that there are people who think this isn’t a thing that happens?

          • Melllvar
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            09 months ago

            Are Black trans women known for this kind of behaviour?

            The question suggests that Black trans women are all alike. It’s exactly that kind of generalization that’s being criticized.

            • @[email protected]
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              19 months ago

              Nobody is saying all white men are like this, what they are saying that it is only white men who do this.

              Being a white man who is aware of the stereotype, I in no way feel attacked by it. I do feel aware that I need to be careful not to interrupt my colleagues or to mansplain things that I may be less knowledgeable about. This response from me is beneficial to both myself and the people I interact with.

              • Melllvar
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                9 months ago

                “Only white men do X” is absolutely racist and sexist. “Mansplain” is derogatory.

                • @[email protected]
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                  09 months ago

                  “Mansplain” is derogatory.

                  I agree that it is derogatory to mansplain to someone, like to tell an expert in a subject that they don’t know what they’re talking about and thinking that’s okay because they are a woman.

                  • Melllvar
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                    19 months ago

                    What I meant is that it’s derogatory to use the term “mansplain”. Sorry for confusing you.

          • @[email protected]
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            -79 months ago

            Nonody is “known” for that behaviour. You really just seem to ascribe personality traits to people based on their skin color. I thought we were long past that.

            • Stoneykins [any]
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              9 months ago

              It is intentionally, intellectually dishonest and obtuse to pretend that condemnation of systemic problems resulting from unfair biases for/from certain demographics is as bad as the systemic problems in question.

          • @[email protected]
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            -109 months ago

            Are there apologists for Black trans women who make every effort to miss the fucking point

            Oh, don’t blame people. Don’t bring irrelevant details if you don’t want to distract them from the fucking point.

        • southsamurai
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          39 months ago

          It would surprise me, but it would still be fine.

          How many black trans women are in positions of authority? To not remark on that would be unusual. Mind you, the chances of a black trans woman making it to that kind of position and holding on to the kind of stupidity in the original post is pretty damn slim, hence the surprise.

    • @[email protected]
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      499 months ago

      It’s a reminder than people that have always been in a privileged position often don’t realize they do.

      • @stockRot
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        59 months ago

        You’re right, racism doesn’t exist outside of America

    • @xkforce
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      189 months ago

      To emphasize the privilege this guy has.

      • qevlarr
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        19 months ago

        Exactly.

    • @cosmicrookie
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      9 months ago

      Or even the gender?

      Edit: so… based on the downvotes this gets, its not OK for a male to interrupt but if it had been a female or other gender, then it would have been ok?

      • @Specal
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        -89 months ago

        Male and Female aren’t genders, they’re Sex, Words used to describe biological makeup of a living creature, for example XX Chromosomes are Female, XY Chromosomes are Male, but there are also instances where XXY Chromosomes can happen, and things get a little tricky.

        Gender is what we use to tell children how to behave based on their genetalia and cause dysphoria in them when they don’t want to do something but will get ostracized for doing what people with the other genetalia do.

        • @cosmicrookie
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          119 months ago

          Thanks. Its a bit confusing to me especially as a none English user. But your description of gender sounds negative. I assume a gender can be a neutral description of oneself? I am not sure.

          My point here though is, that OP mentioning it was a male, is as irrelevant as their skin color. I dont see why it needs to be there when they dont add other irrelevant characteristics such as nationality, age, hair color etc.

          • @[email protected]
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            59 months ago

            I would encourage you to do your own research regarding sex and gender. In many parts of the world, these terms are interchangeable. As they were in the US for many years, even after the term gender was popularized.

        • @captainlezbian
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          79 months ago

          There’s a lot more to sex than chromosomes. It’s probably better to say it’s clustering of positions on bimodal curves of traits. And even then you wind up with weird shit because biology really doesn’t like simple classifications. Like seriously there are so fucking many ways to be intersex and intersex people are downright common.

          But also grammatically male and female when used to refer to humans are generally just the adjectives for man and woman.

        • @madcaesar
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          19 months ago

          You know when the right looks at the left and calls us batshit? Your comment is shit they point to…

          • @Specal
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            69 months ago

            What’s batshit about it? As a society we do exactly that, we tell boys to like blue and girls to like pink.

    • @[email protected]
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      -19 months ago

      It is just mentioned. Just a description of what happened. What’s wrong about saying it was a white male when it was a white male? Why jump to the opinion that mentioning the gender or complexion has any other purpose than being descriptive?

    • @thorbot
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      9 months ago

      You can’t be racist against white, duh

      Edit: nobody realized this was sarcasm

    • @[email protected]
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      -59 months ago

      Being white is a huge risk factor for unearned confidence. So is male. Being both just multiplies the chances.

      • @cosmicrookie
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        9 months ago

        Wow! This is like saying that if someone owns an axe, they are more likely to be a serial killer. If they also have rolls of black garbage bags, then its even more likely …

        • @maryjayjay
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          59 months ago

          That’s such a straw man. You would have no trouble saying that if someone doesn’t have an axe they are less likely to be an axe murderer

          • @cosmicrookie
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            -29 months ago

            Sorry - what do you mean?

            The fact that someone owns an axe and garbage bags, does nothing to their likelihood of them being a murder, just like being white and/or a male has nothing to do with the “risk of unearned confidence”.