• Transporter Room 3
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      9 months ago

      I once got passed by a rainbow-decal prius with the bumper stickers “0-60 eventually” and “you just got passed by a lesbian in a unicorn outfit”

      Sure enough when we stopped at the next light, there were two rather lovey-dovey women in the front seat, and the driver was wearing what looked like a unicorn onesie. It was fantastic.

      Incidentally, my wife now has a similar unicorn onesie and wears it when we go grocery shopping.

      • TheLowestStone
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        9 months ago

        Now I have to wonder, does she wear a unicorn onesie all the time or does she put it on over her regular street clothes before driving? If the latter, why? Which came first, the sticker or the onesie? If her partner drives the car, is she required to wear the onesie?

        • @hydrospanner
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          79 months ago

          If her partner drives the car, is she required to wear the onesie?

          The sticker makes no mention of driving, so I would think that as long as someone in the vehicle is both lesbian and wearing the onesie, its conditions have been fulfilled.

          • TheLowestStone
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            19 months ago

            Thr bumper sticker specifies that you have been passed by the car therefore the car must be moving.

            • Transporter Room 3
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              29 months ago

              Ah, but the person in the passenger seat might also be considered as having passed, no?

              So as long as there is someone in the vehicle who is a lesbian and also in a unicorn onesie, it’s still technically correct

        • Transporter Room 3
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          39 months ago

          Well my wife likes to wear hers when she goes to pick up food, so maybe this woman likes to wear it when she’s driving.

          Heck I know someone who refuses to drive without a specific pair of gloves “because driving doesn’t feel right without them” and they have a panic attack without them.

          Or maybe they take turns wearing it. Or even just on special occasions and I happened to witness one.

          Whatever the case, it made my day

        • @[email protected]
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          19 months ago

          The car doesn’t start unless the driver is wearing the onesie. It’s an after market thing.

      • @Maggoty
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        59 months ago

        Plot twist, she makes the unicorn onesie and that’s her marketing strategy.

          • @Maggoty
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            19 months ago

            I’m already looking for one in my size…

    • @bmsok
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      439 months ago

      Have you heard the one where your fiesta takes adderall?

      It turns into a focus.

      Not original material but I had to say it

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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        9 months ago

        Haha

        It’s true. I had a focus before the fiesta (the dealer actually bought my focus for more than it was worth and traded the fiesta for it; some stock related issue and they were desperate for focuses). They’re practically identical vehicles.

    • @Aleric
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      169 months ago

      I drive a Prius and have a very long commute which goes through a rather conservative area. My existence inadvertently pisses off so many big truck drivers. I’ll never understand why some people need to speed up and pass me immediately after I’ve passed them. It’s not a competition!

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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        9 months ago

        I don’t understand the correlation of having a small penis and simping for big oil, either. 🤷🏻‍♂️

        See it with Teslas, too. It’s pretty funny to me that even though Tesla is pretty hated, the people who hate them for good reason don’t go around keying them or trying to run them off the road, while the jerk offs who hate them just for being electric are the people who do those things.

        • @njordomir
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          79 months ago

          I saw one of this Japanese Kei trucks the other day with a decal across the windshield that read “under compensating” :D

          Sadly I did not have time to snap a pic.

        • @hydrospanner
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          19 months ago

          Super weird correlation, I admit, but in my city it’s been my experience that one odd trend I’ve observed has been that Tesla drivers do three things disproportionately more frequently than drivers of other vehicles:

          Lack of using a turn signal (which they arguably share with BMW drivers.

          Forcing their way into lane changes and/or cutting people off (often accompanied by a noted lack of signal).

          And flat out just plain running red lights. This last one is the most alarming and honestly the one I’ve noticed to be most closely linked to Tesla drivers. It’s so bad that even if I have a solid green when approaching a red light, if I can see a Tesla in approaching or crossing lanes, I’ll let off the gas and hover over the brakes, just in case they “pull a Tesla”. I’ve seen many of them pull up to a solid red, drift to a stop, then find a gap in the cross traffic that has a solid green and just dart across. I’ve seen them turn left on red without stopping. Seen them cause near accidents, all running red lights like they’re just a suggestion.

      • @psud
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        99 months ago

        You can make your commute more interesting (and less safe) by adding a very visible rainbow flag

    • @CADmonkey
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      79 months ago

      Guys like this are fun to bait past a speed trap in a little econobox.

      • @hydrospanner
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        39 months ago

        I don’t know of any liquid or gas hairdressers, so I’m guessing it’s good for all of them.

  • ares35
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    1289 months ago

    be kind to the poor pfc, he’s paying by the week for seven years for that shitbox.

      • @ZMonster
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        149 months ago

        Small down payment at best.

        • @ohlaph
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          139 months ago

          Small something

      • @Chessmasterrex
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        89 months ago

        This is a real thing that happens. I know someone who took his bonus and bought a red Toyota Celica and put Lambo doors on it.

  • Rhynoplaz
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    9 months ago

    I’ve heard that people who drive a Dodge Ram are most likely to have a DUI on their record.

    For real. Might have changed since then though.

          • @radix
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            39 months ago

            deleted by creator

          • Speex
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            -389 months ago

            Because some people only live inside their tiny little bubble and can’t think outside of it. So therefore if I don’t have a need or want for a truck then no one else should.

            • @[email protected]
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              9 months ago

              That only works if what you want doesn’t also affect other people. If you buy a giant pick up truck that endangers other people, for no other reason than your own ego, you’re probably an asshole.

              • Speex
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                -139 months ago

                Your world view is so tiny. You don’t know shit.

                You’re probably an asshole. Only because your own ego is so great and your own mind is so limited you can’t take time to think outside your own tiny little box.

                It’s sad really. Also don’t leave your house ever. Your actions endanger other people.

        • tinyVoltron
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          -299 months ago

          Have you never had to tow a trailer? Haul lumber or stone? Bring home a large appliance or furniture? Help a friend move? Or are you just assuming anyone who uses a vehicle you don’t need is an asshole?

          • @dustyData
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            409 months ago

            None of the idiots who brag about driving a semi have done any of that either. They’re grocery haulers at best. Just like 4x4 princesses. The loudest mouth breathers are the ones who think that driving on a unpaved dirt road is off-roading.

            The rest of sensible humankind knows that, for any of what you mentioned, it’s astronomically cheaper to rent an actual truck for the couple of days every other year that you actually have to do any of it than owning, and slaving over a loan, for an inefficient, expensive and inadequate machine that can’t do any of those task properly.

            • @daltotron
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              9 months ago

              None of the idiots who brag about driving a semi have done any of that either.

              That’s definitely not true. People can still have a self-image as a kind of asshole truck driver, and also still use their truck. People make this argument, that somehow these kind of aesthetic qualities have some sort of bearing on who does or doesn’t use their truck, and to me, it just kind of comes across like the only people who are allowed to drive trucks are the people who are acting in socially acceptable ways.

              The argument is less about the people who use their truck, and more about the relative frequencies of use for everyone generally. Most people would be better covered by a rental. And then we could also make the argument that our development patterns would encourage the use of trucks far too much anyways.

              Edit: wait, did you mean to type semi, or hemi? I kind of assumed hemi, but if you mean semi that kind of changes everything and I don’t know how to respond to that.

              • @dustyData
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                69 months ago

                I did meant hemi. English as a third language and all. And honestly I don’t care about whether they use their truck or not. It’s about the statistical probability of both being an intolerable fuckface who has an inefficient machine instead of a personality, and bragging that they need it and it is the best choice for certain heavy tasks. When the people who actually need to do those heavy task regularly would chose a pickup track last. Because it would be the worst choice possible only second to a Twingo or something. Because I’ve seen sedans deal better with towing trailers than some of the crap they sell to Americans as trucks.

            • Speex
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              -249 months ago

              So you mean in your limited experience it’s cheaper. Which is fine. If you found solution for you good stuff. But your limited experience isn’t the reality for everyone.

              Sounds like you don’t have a good understanding of the machines you are even talking about. Try expanding your world a little. Be less about making judgements about things you don’t understand.

              • @dustyData
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                209 months ago

                Idiot says to the guy whose entire family were trades professionals for two generations who had owned, worked on and driven everything from buses and box trucks to 18 wheelers and forklifts, that he doesn’t understand machines and need to expand their world. Stay classy Internet.

          • @[email protected]
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            69 months ago

            Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. None of those needed or would have been better with a pickup. Have driven a pickup as well. Was pointless and crap.

      • Rhynoplaz
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        109 months ago

        Unless another model has truck balls, which doubles the trucks overall douche-value.

      • @swag_money
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        29 months ago

        yeah i heard that from regular car reviews!

    • metaStatic
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      209 months ago

      People who make poor life choices are more likely to make other poor life choices.

    • @moistclump
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      59 months ago

      It was BMW drivers, rams were a close second to Tesla in driving incidents and highest overall combined incidents and dui.

      • @[email protected]
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        9 months ago

        Saw that recently as well. Wondering if the stats are US versus the world. BMWs just don’t seem common enough in the US to hold the top spot. Unless every driver is constantly tanked at all times.

      • @[email protected]
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        19 months ago

        At least the alcoholic grindset yuppies are well represented by the BMW 4 series and Audi A4 in the top 5.

        Absolutely zero surprise of Ram trucks being #1. The only vehicle that has ever crashed into me was a Ram. All the tires were mismatched and the driver came to his deposition with alcohol on his breath. They’re a fun bunch, those Ram drivers.

        • @Duamerthrax
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          29 months ago

          I’ll rarely see Rams used as actual work trucks. At least around me, it’s all Fords and Chevy. And if it a Ram, it’s got a Cummins in it. Hemi is weekend warrior shit.

  • circuitfarmer
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    889 months ago

    Serious “you will address me by my husband’s rank” energy here

  • @MyDogLovesMe
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    809 months ago

    Any soldier of worth I’ve ever known, …any true soldier, wouldn’t advertise their profession as such.

    Wannabe.

    Nothing more.

    • FartsWithAnAccent
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      9 months ago

      This screams boot to me, lol. I bet you they financed it at something ridiculous too.

      Is there an r/JustBootThings on Lemmy or Kbin? Some of the shit on there was hilarious.

      • @frickineh
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        299 months ago

        I said the same thing. My ex-husband was military (though not boot at all) and you could absolutely find this truck in the px parking lot. Probably driven by a 20 year old with a kid and a pregnant wife who goes shopping off base in his uniform solely so people will thank him for his service.

        • FartsWithAnAccent
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          99 months ago

          Yeah that shit was pretty much the epitome of r/JustBootThings

        • @Maggoty
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          9 months ago

          We were all boots once. Some of us grew out of it.

        • FartsWithAnAccent
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          9 months ago

          Boot is a derisive term, in this case it’s referring to young inexperienced people fresh out of boot camp. The mindset refers to doing trashy and/or foolish things usually coupled with a strong sense of entitlement (“thank me for my service!”).

          Not sure who downvoted you, nothing wrong with asking questions to learn stuff.

        • @A_Toasty_Strudel
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          149 months ago

          Something typical of a person fresh out of boot camp.

      • @DontTreadOnBigfoot
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        89 months ago

        Nothing worse than a moto ass boot.

        100% he’s a POG too

        • @ohlaph
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          79 months ago

          Pineapple orange guava?

          • @Maggoty
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            9 months ago

            Pogue. The word is Pogue. As in Pogie Bait.

            POG is a backronym and must be obliterated with prejudice.

    • @mojofrododojo
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      69 months ago

      wanna bet he’s a 92f or some shit?

      maybe a 74a who’s huffed too much ojt

    • @Tangent5280
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      39 months ago

      And the Ares is quotes, blegh.

    • @ohlaph
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      29 months ago

      Exactly. Most actual soldiers would say Marine, etc. rarely use soldier.

      • @WhiteOakBayou
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        49 months ago

        Unless they are in the Army. Then they would rightfully call themselves a soldier. Soldier, Airman, Marine, Seaman, Guardian and Spacie. I guess not sure on the last one

    • @Maggoty
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      9 months ago

      Eh, a lot of us did stupid stuff like put a CIB sticker on or something. This is a whole 'nother level.

  • xigoi
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    9 months ago

    There used to be a community for this on the website that shall not be named. “Don’t Dead Open Inside” I think?

  • @CADmonkey
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    659 months ago

    I bet it’s financed ar 29.9%

    • @Maggoty
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      99 months ago

      By a private who graduated basic in the last 30 days.

  • @Heavybell
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    539 months ago

    The fuck is a hemi?

    • NoSpiritAnimal
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      489 months ago

      A Hemi indicates the top of the combustion chamber has a Hemispherical shape, rather than the typical frying pan type shape.

      The increased size of the chamber means additional fuel and air can be introduced, which increases power output.

      It’s old tech like carburetors. It’s wasteful on fuel, but MOPAR fans love it.

      • @ridethisbike
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        39 months ago

        Doesn’t it also mean a higher compression ratio? Meaning more power behind the same A:F ratio? Or am I as dumb as the guy who put the stickers on that truck?

        • @Blue_Morpho
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          179 months ago

          “Due to the shape of the hemispherical combustion chamber, it’s difficult to raise the compression ratio high enough to fully take advantage of its superior shape, irrespective of the brand on the valve cover”

          https://www.motortrend.com/how-to/hemi-engine-pros-cons/

          This is also interesting:

          “If the 2003-present Gen-III Hemi isn’t a real hemi engine, then why do we call it that? With good reason, Chrysler (now FCA) wanted to extend the “Hemi” branding to its third-generation Hemi V-8 because of the instant recognition and status it carries.”

    • @[email protected]
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      9 months ago

      It’s something rednecks will ask other rednecks about whether they have one or not. If you see that sticker, there is about a 30 percent chance that the driver of the vehicle is drunk.

    • @Chessmasterrex
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      89 months ago

      It’s a type of engine design found mainly in certain pickup trucks. I don’t know why but it’s an important thing to some people.

  • @madwifi
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    519 months ago

    Don’t dead open inside

  • @recapitated
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    509 months ago

    Imagine being a soldier and still having something to prove on the freeway

  • @kosanovskiy
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    509 months ago

    You just By A Driving

    Got

    Passed Soldier A Hemi

    Ares

    Apparently one who isn’t literate either.

  • @[email protected]
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    489 months ago

    People who treat driving as some kind of competition should have their license permanently revoked.

      • @Wrench
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        39 months ago

        The price is wrong sound, but in fart muffler tones.

    • @[email protected]
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      69 months ago

      When I’m driving all day, I try as hard as possible to forget who passes me and who I pass. This little kid in my mind is like “pay attention, lars, don’t let them get there first!”. It’s gross.

    • @[email protected]
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      49 months ago

      I kinda do but the only one im competeing with is myself and the shitty dirt “road” I decided to drive on.

  • TurboWafflz
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    379 months ago

    You, just by a driving, got passed. Soldier, a hemi!!

    • @RealFknNito
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      9 months ago

      Hope I’m not the only one trying to put these words to Smooth Criminal.

      You just got passed by, you just got hit by, a soldier in a hemi!

  • Tony N
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    369 months ago

    I’m speeding, I kill people for the government, and my engine has hemispherical combustion chambers!

    • @[email protected]
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      19 months ago

      and my engine has hemispherical combustion chambers!

      Not even that anymore. HEMI is just a marketing term.