“Baby baby, I brought you your toast again.”

Def annoyed her.

  • originalucifer
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    8211 months ago

    i like to remind her every time her phone rings that its likely, for her.

    “you should get that, i think thats for you” x 17 years

    • @darthsid
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      911 months ago

      Haha were you ever wrong?

      • originalucifer
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        1111 months ago

        seems like oonly when the kids were young and cell-less. occasionally she would throw it back in my face

        • @darthsid
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          711 months ago

          Aww adorable #relationshipgoals

  • @inb4_FoundTheVegan
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    4611 months ago

    Whenever she sneezes I’ll give the first one a “Bless you” and the second something like

    “Oh GROSS! Can you take that outside?”

    “Babe we talked already, I’m not into your kink, stop iniaiting like that”

    “Jesus anything for attention with you…”

    It’s now at the point where when she starts we are both glaring and smirking at each other.

    • ivanafterall
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      1511 months ago

      I’ve said, “Oh, fuck you! Grow up!” and similar to friends. But it’s best immediately after sneeze one, and you should sound properly offended at the temerity.

  • @spittingimage
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    4411 months ago

    Not recently, but this is one I’m particularly proud of. She texted me to complain that she was music-less in the office because her MP3 player failed.

    Well of course I phoned and was able to sing one line about never giving her up before she hung up the call.

  • Nomecks
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    11 months ago

    Whenever she tells me she’s going to do something I react “Hey honey, you should go and do something.”

    “I’m going to the store to get some milk”

    “You know what? You should go to the store and get some milk”

    “I’m going to wash some pants.”

    “Honey, I think maybe you should wash some pants.”

  • @[email protected]
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    3411 months ago

    I do that with everyone that tells me “I’m going to the bathroom”

    I reply with “Good luck! 👍”

  • @[email protected]
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    3211 months ago

    I look her in the eyes romantically, with a touch of mischief, and state “you’re a very useful girlfriend”.

    I only do it a couple times a year at most.

    The look of disdain is priceless.

    She knows I love the hell out of her, and the anti climax is brilliant.

    “What am I?! Your bloody house cleaner?!”

    Then we laugh. Cuddle. She feigns a cold shoulder.

    Too much fun.

  • folkrav
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    11 months ago

    Sometimes when she tells me she’s going to do… anything, really, I just say something along the lines of “no”, “out of the question” or “you’re not allowed to do that”. Almost 15 years later, it didn’t get old - for me! - yet. As for her, I think at this point she just tuned out these things hahaha

  • @[email protected]
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    2311 months ago

    I do at least two things that she pretends to hate, but definitely does not.

    1. When discussing something I always reply this way:
    • Her: Come on, say something.
    • Me: Something.
    1. When she needs to do something in the future:
    • Her: Remind me, that I have to buy milk tomorrow.
    • Me: instantly You know, you have to buy milk tomorrow.
  • @[email protected]
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    2311 months ago

    When I leave her, just to go to the bathroom, or to the store or leave her in the car while I go into the store, I’ll say, “See you tomorrow” x 15 yrs

      • cheesymoonshadow
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        11 months ago

        Me (about to head down to the kitchen): Do you want anything from downstairs?

        Him: No.

        Me: Just me?

        Him (with a sigh and a laugh): Yes, just you.

        x19 years

  • @[email protected]
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    2211 months ago

    Texted my wife to tell her I was heading to a mate’s place for “a dip in the pool and some pizza”, then followed up with a texted stream of consciousness, one line at a time, about how I was planning to eat the pizza - not dip in it, then pondering what dip on pizza would be like, followed be weighing up the pros and cons of about 4 or 5 different dips on pizza, and the different pizzas they might work on.

    It took about 7 or 8 messages before I got her eyeroll response. Worth it.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠
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    2111 months ago

    Everytime someone sneezed, and she says “Gesundheit”, I quietly ask her, “Did you just say Kazoo Tight?”.

    • @[email protected]
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      1211 months ago

      When she’d say “I guess” I’d pretend to have heard “heck yes” and get excited. Then I started with my kids. Now my daughter does it to her own friends and I’ve never been more proud

  • @dingus
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    1611 months ago

    You guys are so adorable I love this. Almost makes me wish I had a relationship

  • @[email protected]
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    1411 months ago

    Whenever I let out a big fart close to her I say her name out loud in a surprised tone accompanied by “that’s absolutely disgusting!” and she eye rolls immediately lol

  • GrappleHat
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    11 months ago

    I sneak up behind her and give her “tiger rubs”, which is aggressive up & down motion on the ribs & side meat.

    She loves it x20 years