“Baby baby, I brought you your toast again.”

Def annoyed her.

  • originalucifer
    link
    fedilink
    8210 months ago

    i like to remind her every time her phone rings that its likely, for her.

    “you should get that, i think thats for you” x 17 years

    • @darthsid
      link
      910 months ago

      Haha were you ever wrong?

      • originalucifer
        link
        fedilink
        1110 months ago

        seems like oonly when the kids were young and cell-less. occasionally she would throw it back in my face

        • @darthsid
          link
          710 months ago

          Aww adorable #relationshipgoals

  • @inb4_FoundTheVegan
    link
    4610 months ago

    Whenever she sneezes I’ll give the first one a “Bless you” and the second something like

    “Oh GROSS! Can you take that outside?”

    “Babe we talked already, I’m not into your kink, stop iniaiting like that”

    “Jesus anything for attention with you…”

    It’s now at the point where when she starts we are both glaring and smirking at each other.

    • ivanafterall
      link
      fedilink
      1510 months ago

      I’ve said, “Oh, fuck you! Grow up!” and similar to friends. But it’s best immediately after sneeze one, and you should sound properly offended at the temerity.

  • @spittingimage
    link
    4410 months ago

    Not recently, but this is one I’m particularly proud of. She texted me to complain that she was music-less in the office because her MP3 player failed.

    Well of course I phoned and was able to sing one line about never giving her up before she hung up the call.

  • Nomecks
    link
    fedilink
    38
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Whenever she tells me she’s going to do something I react “Hey honey, you should go and do something.”

    “I’m going to the store to get some milk”

    “You know what? You should go to the store and get some milk”

    “I’m going to wash some pants.”

    “Honey, I think maybe you should wash some pants.”

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    3410 months ago

    I do that with everyone that tells me “I’m going to the bathroom”

    I reply with “Good luck! 👍”

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    3210 months ago

    I look her in the eyes romantically, with a touch of mischief, and state “you’re a very useful girlfriend”.

    I only do it a couple times a year at most.

    The look of disdain is priceless.

    She knows I love the hell out of her, and the anti climax is brilliant.

    “What am I?! Your bloody house cleaner?!”

    Then we laugh. Cuddle. She feigns a cold shoulder.

    Too much fun.

  • folkrav
    link
    fedilink
    30
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Sometimes when she tells me she’s going to do… anything, really, I just say something along the lines of “no”, “out of the question” or “you’re not allowed to do that”. Almost 15 years later, it didn’t get old - for me! - yet. As for her, I think at this point she just tuned out these things hahaha

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    2310 months ago

    I do at least two things that she pretends to hate, but definitely does not.

    1. When discussing something I always reply this way:
    • Her: Come on, say something.
    • Me: Something.
    1. When she needs to do something in the future:
    • Her: Remind me, that I have to buy milk tomorrow.
    • Me: instantly You know, you have to buy milk tomorrow.
  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    2310 months ago

    When I leave her, just to go to the bathroom, or to the store or leave her in the car while I go into the store, I’ll say, “See you tomorrow” x 15 yrs

      • cheesymoonshadow
        link
        fedilink
        3
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        Me (about to head down to the kitchen): Do you want anything from downstairs?

        Him: No.

        Me: Just me?

        Him (with a sigh and a laugh): Yes, just you.

        x19 years

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    2210 months ago

    Texted my wife to tell her I was heading to a mate’s place for “a dip in the pool and some pizza”, then followed up with a texted stream of consciousness, one line at a time, about how I was planning to eat the pizza - not dip in it, then pondering what dip on pizza would be like, followed be weighing up the pros and cons of about 4 or 5 different dips on pizza, and the different pizzas they might work on.

    It took about 7 or 8 messages before I got her eyeroll response. Worth it.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠
    link
    fedilink
    2110 months ago

    Everytime someone sneezed, and she says “Gesundheit”, I quietly ask her, “Did you just say Kazoo Tight?”.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      1210 months ago

      When she’d say “I guess” I’d pretend to have heard “heck yes” and get excited. Then I started with my kids. Now my daughter does it to her own friends and I’ve never been more proud

  • @dingus
    link
    English
    1610 months ago

    You guys are so adorable I love this. Almost makes me wish I had a relationship

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    1410 months ago

    Whenever I let out a big fart close to her I say her name out loud in a surprised tone accompanied by “that’s absolutely disgusting!” and she eye rolls immediately lol

  • GrappleHat
    link
    fedilink
    English
    14
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    I sneak up behind her and give her “tiger rubs”, which is aggressive up & down motion on the ribs & side meat.

    She loves it x20 years