• @[email protected]
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    7511 months ago

    Works for hot peppers. The worse you treat them while growing; the hotter, angrier and tastier they get.

    • @[email protected]
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      11 months ago

      Certain vegetables like leeks get buried as they sprout to make the “shoot” part as long as possible.

      Rhubarb is grown in near complete darkness, and it screams as it grows towards a light it’ll never reach

      • @[email protected]
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        3611 months ago

        Rhubarb is grown in near complete darkness, and it screams as it grows towards a light it’ll never reach

        Rhubarb cellars are metal. I forgot all about that.

        • NielsBohron
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          11 months ago

          There’s some really great metal band names in here (IMHO).

          • Metalcore: Scream At A Light You’ll Never Reach

          • Stoner: Rhubong and the Devil’s Lettuce

          • Doom: Near Complete Darkness

          • Black: Rhübarb Screams

          • Death: Cellar Crop

          • Goregrind: Fed Shit and Kept in the Dark

          • Country/Folk Metal (aka Hank III): Rhubarb Wire Fences

      • @Holyhandgrenade
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        2111 months ago

        I have a rhubarb plant in my garden, and deep down I know that when I have long perished and my earthly remains have rejoined with the earth’s soil, that rhubarb plant will still be there, stubbornly making more rhubarb than anyone can eat.

      • probablynaked
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        711 months ago

        Honestly rhubarb fights back against the oppressors who dare eat the wrong part of the plant

      • @[email protected]
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        511 months ago

        Where does the rhubarb get energy then? Does it just rely on stored energy in the seed or roots or something and get given light eventually, or can it actually use tiny amounts of light?

        • @[email protected]
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          1211 months ago

          The plant has an energy reserve underground that is allowed to build up for a year or two before starting to harvest.

          If you are doing it sustainably, you can harvest the shoots until they start showing signs of undernourishment, then you stop harvesting and let it build energy back up.

          Forcing the rhubarb is an option for the shoots you plan on eating, they grow faster and sweeter than if they grow naturally

          • NielsBohron
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            411 months ago

            The plant has an energy reserve underground that is allowed to build up for a year or two before starting to harvest.

            Not a botanist, but I’m pretty sure that’s why rhubarb is so sweet. Those energy reserves are mostly sugar, so maximizing the energy reserves maximizes the sweetness, like you note below.

            • @[email protected]
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              511 months ago

              Yeah the rhubarb that people grow in their own gardens without a rhubarb torture cellar is way more sour than store-bought, in my experience.

              • @butterflyattack
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                311 months ago

                When we were kids we used to dip the stalks in sugar, tasted great.

    • @jaybone
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      1011 months ago

      Future generations will not look kindly upon this comment.

      • Flying Squid
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        211 months ago

        After the angry pepper revolution puts them all in chains?

    • Buck
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      911 months ago

      That’s how it worked for my kids, too.

  • @[email protected]
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    3211 months ago

    If the soy beans aren’t cannibalizing themselves out of desperation it’s not authentic enough

  • sillyplasm
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    2311 months ago

    So wait, are they treating the workers horribly, or… Oh, it’s an Onion article.

  • @[email protected]
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    2111 months ago

    This is going to trigger so many broflakes who have made eating meat their whole personality.

    And before anybody starts screeching, I’m not even a vegan. I do mostly make vegan food at home, but you can pry my cheese out of my cold, dead hands, and I also occasionally eat fish or meat.

    • @[email protected]
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      2511 months ago

      This going to trigger so many >!cheeseflakes!< who have made eating cheese their whole personality.

      And before any body starts screeching, I’m not even a vegan. I do mostly make vegan home at food, but you can pry my cold, dead hands out of my cheese, and I also occasionally eat fish or meat.

      • @jaybone
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        111 months ago

        Please tell me you use arch.

        • @[email protected]
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          911 months ago

          I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re refering to as vegan, is in fact, arch/vegan, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, arch plus vegan. Vegan is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning arch system made useful by the arch corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.

    • @TheDoozer
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      1111 months ago

      The people I know that are hard-core meat eaters are hunters who vastly prefer meat they’ve killed themselves (in a heavily regulated system that prioritizes sustaining the environment). I live in Alaska, though.

      • @BluesF
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        611 months ago

        Yeah, I don’t think that’s the major demographic of aggressive meat eaters on the internet honestly.

        • @jaybone
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          311 months ago

          Are there really people who make eating meat their “whole personality”? lol

          • @BluesF
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            111 months ago

            Idk, but you’d think so based on some comments vegans get online lol

          • @[email protected]
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            11 months ago

            “Whole” is a bit of a stretch, but I lived with a guy for a while whose whole personality seemed to be eating bacon (seriously. every day ate an entire pack of bacon - the expensive stuff too) and smoking weed.

            As a guy that also likes bacon and weed, it became annoying as fuck.

    • @Godric
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      511 months ago

      X Headline is going to trigger Y group

    • @psud
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      211 months ago

      I found it funny, because it makes out that treating a plant badly makes it taste meaty in the same way that badly treated cattle are less nutritious and less good tasting than those which are free range on landscape like that they evolved on

      • @[email protected]
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        211 months ago

        Meat is only ruined if the animal is stressed during slaughter.

        Prior to that, for large animals like cows, only the last three months of feeding matters for the quality of the meat. Far less time for smaller animals.

        Treating animals well has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of the meat, except in the few moments immediately before slaughter. We should treat animals well on a matter of principle, and that’s basically the only argument there is to it.

        To be clear, I agree with that principle.

  • @[email protected]
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    1111 months ago

    Now I’m curious if plants have enough complexity to their internal experience for it to be possible to be cruel to them or not. One is used to thinking of them as basically inanimate apart from that they grow, but some of them can sort of communicate with other plants in certain ways can’t they?

    • @[email protected]OP
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      3011 months ago

      There is not really strong evidence of plant sentience. Here’s one paper looking at it:

      A. Plants do not show proactive behavior.

      B. Classical learning does not indicate consciousness, so reports of such learning in plants are irrelevant.

      C. The considerable differences between the electrical signals in plants and the animal nervous system speak against a functional equivalence. Unlike in animals, the action potentials of plants have many physiological roles that involve Ca2+ signaling and osmotic control; and plants’ variable potentials have properties that preclude any conscious perception of wounding as pain.

      D. In plants, no evidence exists of reciprocal (recurrent) electrical signaling for integrating information, which is a prerequisite for consciousness.

      E. Most proponents of plant consciousness also say that all cells are conscious, a speculative theory plagued with counterevidence.

      https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8052213/

      Though something interesting and perhaps counter intuitive to note is that even if we realized plants were sentient, a plant-based diet actually involved killing fewer plants due to the lessened need to grow feed (of which most of the energy is lost)

      • @Hagdos
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        1711 months ago

        a speculative theory plagued with counterevidence.

        I love this phrasing

        • @[email protected]OP
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          1211 months ago

          Academic writing is usually dry, but every once in a while you run into something like that which changes your perspective on how to roast an idea

          • @jaybone
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            411 months ago

            The Supreme Court says you are not allowed to interfere with the seed, or stand in shallow water.

            It’s Grow v. Wade.

      • probablynaked
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        211 months ago

        Came here for lol’s and am now reading academic journals

        I live for and love this nonsense

        • @meliaesc
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          111 months ago

          I have more fun imagining the scientists trying to teach plants anything.

    • @[email protected]
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      511 months ago

      Let’s say that plants do have some kind of sentience, which is probably very limited due to the evidence we do have. Animals still have more advanced sentience that is closer to our own so it would still be the lesser evil to eat plants. Like why would you eat other people or chimps when there are other options available?

      It takes a lot of mental gymnastics to be able to say that plants suffer the same way as animals. I know you’re not saying this, but you do hear stuff like this based on this premise.

      • @psud
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        -411 months ago

        You can’t eat anything in the modern world without killing animals. A combine harvester harvests wheat and mice. A hundred meat eaters are responsible for a single cow death, and the cow lived on marginal land, drinking from streams - you couldn’t grow other food on the land (sure some are grown on perfect fertile land, they don’t need to be)

        Not saying I’m a meat eater, I don’t care about mice, but there’s blood on all our hands

        • @chetradley
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          611 months ago

          Statistically, that cow had a short and miserable life in a factory farm before being killed at a small fraction of their potential lifespan. They were fed a grain-based diet that caused far more mice deaths than it would have to use the land to grow crops to feed humans directly.

          Even in the situation you’ve presented, which again is an exceedingly small percentage (<10% globally, <1% in the US), land is being used which could be rewilded to promote biodiversity. The cow in question is still contributing to GHG emissions and will again be killed around 16 months of age.

        • @[email protected]
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          411 months ago

          A quick google gave me

          livestock farming is 2.5 billion hectares, about 50% of the world’s agricultural area and about 20% of the total land on Earth.

          So maybe you should revisit the idea of ‘marginal land’ that ‘couldn’t grow other food’

        • @[email protected]
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          311 months ago

          Of course, but livestock require even more agriculture to maintain than the same caloric/protein intake of plant based. So if the choice is 50 animals or 100 animals then the choice is easy.

    • @[email protected]
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      011 months ago

      They are living things. We shouldn’t seek to deliberately cause pain if possible. While I like how stuff like bonsai trees look, I also feel a bit bad for them, wired and snipped in so many places and forced to be grown unnaturally small.

      Or people who deliberately carve graffiti into trees with a knife.

      Plants and trees have interestingly complex communication networks. We barely understand their microfauna and underground microbiomes that allow forests to grow much healthier and disease-resistant than our backyards. I have a funny feeling we know a lot less than we think we know, like when scientists discovered that babies can actually feel pain, or that dogs realize when they are treated unfairly. Stuff discovered within our lifetimes, lol.

    • @RizzRustbolt
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      011 months ago

      Long answer: Yes, with an “if”.

      Short answer No, with a “but”.

    • @[email protected]
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      011 months ago

      They can detect tissue damage and grow away from the source. So being physically cruel to a plant would definitely affect its growth. And yes, they can also share some types of information and resources with their neighbours.

    • M137
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      1111 months ago

      It’s funny because this would actually sell. And it’s funny because it hurts too much to feel how disturbing it is.

  • @Godric
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    211 months ago

    We need not have grandstanders in the comments, I eat meat products almost every day. This made me chuckle, because it’s actually funny.

  • Echo Dot
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    -711 months ago

    Soy is like trying to replace meat with cork. Sure it’s technically a substitute in the sense that you’ve not got any more meat but it’s not really a substitute in the sense that it replaces it in any manner.

    Quorn is a much better equivalent. It isn’t 1995 anymore, we don’t need to eat soy, I don’t know why it’s still a thing.

    • @BedbugCutlefish
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      411 months ago

      You’re welcome to it then. Quorn is fine, and I do like diversifying food sources; mycoprotein is good.

      But tbh, I like soy because its pretty lightly processed. Tofu can be made at home easily, with nothing beyond tools, water, and vinegar. And if you don’t like tofu, that’s fine, but its my ‘meat’ of choice.

      Seitan is my second favorite, and again, its pretty easy to make at home; only water and flour is needed.

      I do eat quorn sometimes, but not often. And while mycoprotein is cool as a meat substitute, I feel like just eating mushrooms is a better choice for most dishes.

    • @[email protected]
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      211 months ago

      Quorn is expensive…at least near me :( soy can be bought as dry beans for less than 5 bucks a kg. Also everyone can/could grow soy in a flower pot, quorn seems a tiny bit harder no? even though it’s basically made of mushrooms

      And if soy wasn’t the better option why wouldn’t cattle-raisers use Quorn?

      Finally, having more good options is good :)

      • Echo Dot
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        011 months ago

        And if soy wasn’t the better option why wouldn’t cattle-raisers use Quorn?

        I don’t understand the question what does cattle raises got to do with meat substitutes for humans?