My wife does this all the time, and if I don’t check before I spritz I get an unexpected ball splash.

NSFW for potential topic sensitivity I guess.

  • teft
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    569 months ago

    Why are you hot linking some google images bidet instead of just uploading the image to the post?

  • @[email protected]
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    9 months ago

    There is no valid reason for the toilet seat to ever be up when you enter the bathroom.

    You close the lid before you flush, that’s why it exists.

    edit: added “valid”

    • @derf82
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      129 months ago

      But I like seeing my turds circle the drain

        • @TallonMetroid
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          59 months ago

          Flushing isn’t exactly silent, though? The toilet getting clogged should make a very noticeably different sound.

          • Carighan Maconar
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            89 months ago

            This might be different in mostly wooden homes like in the US, but here with stone homes the majority of the noise of flushing comes from the actual water rushing into the bowl plus the tank beginning to refill. The actual drainage causes virtually no noise.

    • @hikaru755
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      39 months ago

      But after flushing I still need to check if I need to use the toilet brush

    • @Dkarma
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      -59 months ago

      Lol that’s not why a lid exists but gj on being confidently incorrect.

    • Carighan Maconar
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      69 months ago

      I thought the results of later tests was that it doesn’t actually make a difference, fecal and urine particles are found on all near surfaces either way?

      • @AA5B
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        89 months ago

        If you’re referring to the Mythbusters attempt, I think all they proved was that fecal bacteria was everywhere. That’s not the same as saying spewing forth another cloud doesn’t make a difference

    • @Sorgan71
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      09 months ago

      It should be up when flushing so you know if it clogs

      • @AA5B
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        49 months ago

        I’ve always heard a distinctly gurgle sound when it goes down. It’s very easy to listen for. …. Although my teens can never seem to figure it out

      • @[email protected]
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        29 months ago

        Close to flush, check if you need to clean anything or if there’s any other issue, close lid again. That’s what I do.

  • @Sanctus
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    9 months ago

    I need to join you elves with a bidet. Idk why I’m still living in Mordor.

  • @andros_rex
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    169 months ago

    Is the “feminine” mode hygienic? I’d worry about it pushing bacteria and crap up there.

    • @marshadow
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      9 months ago

      According to my urogynecologist, who specifically instructed me to always point my shower wand downward when washing my nethers, spraying water can indeed push bacteria up there!

      It may only be dangerous for the subset of women who have problems requiring a urogynecology specialist in the first place, IDK, but better safe than sorry.

  • Zerlyna
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    159 months ago

    There’s a feminine mode? Aren’t assholes all in the same spot?

      • @AdamEatsAss
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        199 months ago

        Sometimes a spritz to the gooch is just what I need to remember it takes 2 to tango.

    • flicker
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      189 months ago

      Yes but women have a pee hole between their labia and if you don’t rinse that then what even are you doing? I’m not interested in walking around with pee-stained lady parts, thanks.

        • flicker
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          39 months ago

          Only if there’s piss on them. Which there shouldn’t be.

  • andrew
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    119 months ago

    Do I need to upgrade my bidet? Ours is one dial for cleaning mode which rotates/plugs the sprayer, and one dial for spray, which is just connected to the valve.

  • yukichigai
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    69 months ago

    You actually have to switch modes? Mine just has a lever that goes either forwards or backwards depending on which nozzle you want to use.

  • @recapitated
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    59 months ago

    Sounds like someone has never gotten up to sit inside of an open toilet when it was dark.

  • @aeharding
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    19 months ago

    Seems like a poor design ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • Nix
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    19 months ago

    Ok so apparently everyone here has a bidet? What’s a cheap bidet to start with?

    • @SendMeBakedBeans
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      59 months ago

      You super don’t need a whole other toilet lol. LUXE makes some affordable attachments I’ve had good luck with. But of course, there are multiple types and a dozen price points so you’ll have to do some googling to find what sounds good to you and what works for your bathroom.

    • Carighan Maconar
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      19 months ago

      Over here you can get quite nice aftermarket upgrades for <€50. They’re a good starting point, even if I’d later switch to higher quality and most importantly more lasting solutions.

  • @Psythik
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    -29 months ago

    One thing I’ve always wondered about bidets: where do you add the soap? If there’s no such thing, then what makes bidets any better than using toilet paper? What’s next, washing your hands without soap?

    Personally I rather just risk plumbing issues with butt wipes. And for those particularly nasty shits, I can always hop in the shower and do a quick detail on my asshole with the showerhead and some body wash.

    • archomrade [he/him]
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      49 months ago

      And for those particularly nasty shits, I can always hop in the shower and do a quick detail on my asshole with the showerhead and some body wash.

      Really seems like you answered your own question here

      • @Psythik
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        09 months ago

        Not at all, cause even regular shits should be cleaned off with something beyond just water or paper. Y’all are walking around with smelly, unclean assholes and it’s disgusting.

        • archomrade [he/him]
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          19 months ago

          even regular shits should be cleaned off with something beyond just water or paper

          You can do that with a bidet though

          • @Psythik
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            18 months ago

            So bidets do dispense soap, then? Cause if not, no they can’t.

            Like I said, butt wipes is the bare minimum necessary to get clean after a shit. Toilet paper/water alone won’t cut it.

  • @kiwifoxtrot
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    -169 months ago

    It is most efficient to leave the toilet seat in the position it is used. The same argument applies for the bidet settings.

    • @SpaceNoodle
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      519 months ago

      It is most sanitary to close the toilet lid.

        • @[email protected]
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          9 months ago

          If a toilet stinks, it’s not cleaned properly, there is an issue with the trap or the floor seal is cracked or damaged. If there is a toilet that constantly smells like rotten eggs, it needs to be inspected to ensure sewer gasses are not leaking into your house. (Depending on where you live, water may contain more sulphur which also smells like rotten eggs. That can only be fixed with a good water filter system.)

          None of the 7 or 8 toilets that I own stink because they are cleaned and maintained.

          It’s only “sanitary” to close the lid when you flush it when there is a higher chance that poo water may spray out. Otherwise, water is just going to sit in there and evaporate.

          • Denvil
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            169 months ago

            7-8 toilets? Either you have a large house, or are a very enthusiastic toilet collector

            • @[email protected]
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              9 months ago

              Two houses. My first house was cheap enough not to sell when I moved to another state so I keep it as an investment property. It’s also the house where I learned how to do most of my own repairs since I was fairly broke back then. Either you pay someone a lot of money to do home repairs or you learn how to fix things properly so they don’t break again.

              Home ownership is expensive so it pays to learn everything you can about home repair. As a perk, I take pride in my work so I know it will get done properly. However, I’m not perfect and have made my fair share of costly mistakes. Those mistakes taught me how not to be lazy, so that is nice.

              Also, I was ripped off a few times by shady service people. That pissed me off enough to learn how to inspect other peoples work and verify that something is actually broken and that a repair cost is valid. (HVAC companies are the fucking worst, btw.)

      • @LordKitsuna
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        99 months ago

        Actually some studies were done about that and found that the distribution of bacteria was unchanged in total value the only thing that changed was the positioning of the spread throughout the bathroom with the lid open versus closed.

        Unless you get something like an rv style toilet that has a sealing lip the lid actually locks against, but ain’t nobody using that in their house