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Is there anything in the Bible that says you can’t use Gatorade in a baptism? What if it’s a baptismal emergency and there’s no water, but a six-pack of Gatorade Arctic Blitz?
It’s got electrolytes. It’s what the body of Christ craves.
Baptismal Brando. There’s gotta be a market for that.
The Very Serious brand of Christianity that I came out of as a kid, the church of Christ, condemned people to hell if they weren’t fully immersed when baptized.
You know, among other things like letting women talk or using instruments or during worship.
Man, their Jesus must be so accepting
That sounds like my Baptist Church growing up.
So, Gatorade Frost flavor instead?
So. Per my dad (priest) yeah, if you really wanted to.
I didn’t ask the obvious follow up, BUT YES presumably one could bless the stream and do some golden baptisms.
The ol’ AirBud loophole.
It was giving away the game:
“Yes, my friend,” Father Justin responded. “I am as real as the faith we share.”
From the article…
The AI priest also told one user that it was okay to baptize a baby in Gatorade.
Okay, this one made me laugh, in an Idiocracy movie sort of way.
Its got what saviours crave!
You want to baptize using water? You mean like in the toilet?
Notice your licensing thing on the bottom there - would you be willing to chat with me more about it? Curious how you set it up, what its about, etc. Feel free to dm if that feels more appropriate!
Even stranger than a real priest? That is weird
Father Justin was also a hardliner on social and sexual issues.
“The Catholic Church,” it told us, “teaches that masturbation is a grave moral disorder.”
No, I would say Justin is about the same level of strange in the ways that matter
It didn’t molest any children so the church found that strange
Definitely stranger. It didn’t try to rape one single child.
ngl, baptizing a baby in Gatorade is pretty innovative. They should’ve left it.
Well… It does have electrolytes…
It’s what the body craves.
Indeed. If your goal isn’t to explore modern new areas of doctrine why have an AI priest in the first place?
We’ve had automated worship for at least fifteen hundred years already.
Don’t defrock it! That’s how you got into all that trouble in Boston… Frocks stay on!
This was like two weeks ago, wasn’t it?
APR 25, 10:57 AM
