• @cowfodder
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      524 months ago

      I was just thinking the other day about how I went to a highschool with the panther as the mascot, and how disgusting it is that we used to play Cat Scratch Fever in band at football games…

      • @[email protected]
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        164 months ago

        Stranglehold is another one. Yep, just a casual song about murdering your ex.

        A shame because I really like the effects on the guitar.

        • @thallamabond
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          174 months ago

          Ted Nugent’s jailbait is probably the worst I’ve seen from him (in song form).

          “Well, I don’t care if you’re just thirteen You look too good to be true I just know that you’re probably clean There’s one little think I got do to you”

          • @[email protected]
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            104 months ago

            I see your ‘Jailbait’ and raise you ‘Little Girls’ by Oingo Boingo.

            Especially the music video.

            Its maybe not as absolutely plainly pedophilia, but just what the fuck.

    • @[email protected]
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      174 months ago

      could be led zeppelin too. jimmy page had a 12 year old girlfriend that he locked in his hotel room

        • @[email protected]
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          14 months ago

          apparently she was a groupie favorite for a lot of musicians, think bowie was allegedly with her when she was a couple years older

          • @GrumpyRutabaga
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            14 months ago

            Allegedly is correct. From what I recall Bowie denied it and her story has changed multiple times quite wildly.

  • partial_accumen
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    844 months ago

    I’d assume its a song about a father talking about how much he loves his young daughter. Perhaps I’m just an optimist.

      • TheHarpyEagle
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        Tyler claimed their relationship was consensual and that he had immunity because he was her legal guardian at the time.

        In what world does that make any fucking sense? “It’s okay for me to groom her because I only had absolute legal authority over her.”

        • BubbleMonkey
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          334 months ago

          Super fun fact that isn’t fun at all:

          In most states (possibly all) if a child under 18 is married to an adult over 18, their legal guardian changes from their parents to their now-spouse. So teeeeechnically, depending on the situation for the change of guardianship, that could actually be a totally legit loophole. In a very much should never be allowed to happen sort of way, naturally.

          Before this gets weird, I only know that because I needed to know liquor laws, as my state allows minors to drink with their legal guardian who is over 21 which does include spouses. Nobody honors that at all (typically not even for parents because it’s really hard to prove legal guardianship), but technically that’s how it works.

          • ditty
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            114 months ago

            So while the guardianship is legal, in the wikipedia article it goes on to clarify legal experts weighed in that it is still illegal to groom, coerce into sex, and give drugs, etc to a minor, even if you are their guardian. That’s the illegal part

            • @SkyezOpen
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              144 months ago

              illegal to groom

              “Your honor I promise my 16 year old wife consented.”

        • @cornshark
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          184 months ago

          Jesus Christ, wasn’t this literally a scheme by Count Olaf?

          • @[email protected]
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            84 months ago

            well count olaf really only wanted her money, getting to sleep with her was just a bonus

  • Optional
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    774 months ago

    “Christine! Sixte- err . . Seven . . Eighteen!”

    “When I saw you comin’ outta school that day - I mean, uh, out of . . your office complex . . . Where you’re a, uh, regional sales manager . . . I knew I got to have you!”

    • Neato
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      514 months ago

      I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind

      What. The. Fuck.

      • Ragdoll X
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        Not only was My Sharona explicitly inspired by a 17yo girl the guitarist was dating, the name of their second album was “…But the Little Girls Understand

        These guys were pretty on the nose about what they liked…

        Only band that was even more on the nose was Oingo Boingo with the song “Little Girls”, though I guess the singer said it was meant to be some kind of sick joke intended to offend.

        Also a random coincidence, but apparently the parody song “My Bologna” was what kickstarted Al Yankovic’s career.

        • Flying Squid
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          34 months ago

          though I guess the singer said it was meant to be some kind of sick joke intended to offend.

          In general, I would say that was bullshit, but knowing Oingo Boingo, and especially having seen Forbidden Zone, that’s actually possible.

    • @TIMMAY
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      254 months ago

      god damn it but thanks for curing my ignorance of this

    • @assassin_aragorn
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      144 months ago

      He’s never going to walk away from this beef and I love it. Certified lover boy, certified pedophile.

    • @[email protected]
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      674 months ago

      When they released that song, Paul was 20, which means he probably wrote it at 19 or 18. Not too creepy.

      • Flying Squid
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        114 months ago

        Yes, however, Ringo recorded “You’re Sixteen, You’re Beautiful and You’re Mine” when he was 34. Which… ew.

        • @Dasus
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          394 months ago

          Hands up any non-Americans who think it would be weird for a 17-year old girl to be with a 18 or 19-year old boy?

          Non-Americans because America is extremely hypocritical and prudish compared to Europe and we’re all well aware of it so no need to. Although even in the US the most common age of consent is 16 (only in 11 states have it at 18). In Europe only Malta has 18 and Malta is half the size of Rhode Island by population and ten times smaller per area.

          • Captain Aggravated
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            144 months ago

            American here: When I was a senior in high school, I dated a junior. She was 16, I was 17. I graduated, she turned 17, I turned 18. The next semester I would occasionally leave college and pick up my girlfriend from high school.

          • @PrinceWith999Enemies
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            114 months ago

            Seventeen is also easier to fit into lyrics. Dancing Queen by ABBA. Sexy + 17 by the Stray Cats (although the song was about ditching high school classes). At Seventeen by Janis Ian (who was singing about herself at 17). Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf (again about both being high schoolers, but he’s a bit of a creep anyway).

            I might be giving my age away here.

            • Captain Aggravated
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              4 months ago

              Stevie Nicks - Edge Of Seventeen.

              ETA: It’s just kind of a natural part of the life cycle of a musician that–barring Disney child starlets and other abuse cases like that–you’re in your 20’s or 30’s by the time you’re playing to a concert hall full of teenagers, so there you are, 30 years old, singing songs about teenage relationships.

              • @FreakinSteve
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                24 months ago

                If you dont know what you want it’s reasonably acceptable

            • Flying Squid
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              14 months ago

              A bit of a creep? He lies about loving the girl so he can get laid. Sure, he pays for the lie, but still…

              • @PrinceWith999Enemies
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                24 months ago

                Oh, I mean the guy himself. I know two women who knew/worked with him.

                I always took Paradise as more funny than creepy because I interpreted it as a parody of stereotyped guy/girl behaviors and agendas rather than advocacy, but the guy himself wasn’t someone you’d particularly want to see your sister dating.

    • @hojomonkey
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      94 months ago

      Paul wanted to rhyme it with “beauty queen” but John came along and nixed that wholesome idea

  • @samus12345
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    394 months ago

    Hey, little girl, is your daddy home?

    Did he go away and leave you all alone?

    I got a bad desire

    Oh, oh, oh, I’m on fire

    • @mojofrododojo
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      104 months ago

      jesus fucking barfing christ that’s fucked…

    • @Bertuccio
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      4 months ago

      daddy ho

      This song is about cheating, not pedophilia.

      Daddy is her husband, which is really weird slang, but used to be common.

    • @[email protected]
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      54 months ago

      I still remember hearing that one for the first time on the radio like 6 years ago. Immediate wtf reaction, like how is it still being played?

      • @samus12345
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        If you watch the music video, he doesn’t mean a literal little girl or daddy. But it sure sounds gross!

  • @[email protected]
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    374 months ago

    Me dancing at a Mexican party when I stop and listen to the lyrics like why are we dancing to this and my wife says just don’t listen too closely

    • @snf
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      134 months ago

      Colegiala? Yeah, ew.

  • @NewAgeOldPerson
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    354 months ago

    I am not trying to be edgy. Just a very recent revelation…I didn’t know until that movie that Elvis was dating a 14 year old. So the only progress in this scenario we made as humanity from Mohammed to Elvis was one year. I guess that’s progress?

    But honestly, reading the lyrics of classic rock has really really hindered my ability to listen to some of my favorite bands.

    Just a light example. The Animals. Love. Don’t let me me misunderstood… Comes off as domestic abuse apologist. Maybe I’m way off. I’ll show myself out.

    • @lemonmelon
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      254 months ago

      Nina Simone recorded it a year before The Animals. At the time, it was regarded as a metaphorical statement about the Civil Rights Movement.

      • @mojofrododojo
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        44 months ago

        and it’s fantastic. highly recommend.

    • @[email protected]
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      174 months ago

      So the only progress in this scenario we made as humanity from Mohammed to Elvis was one year.

      Aisha was 6 when they married and 9 when “the marriage was consummated”, so it’s more than one year. Still not great but pedophiles won’t ever completely vanish.

    • @[email protected]
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      74 months ago

      Probably an unpopular opinion, but pedo or not, I’ve always hated Elvis and his music.

  • @testfactor
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    254 months ago

    The worst one in that vein for me is Little Girls by Oingo Bingo. It feels like it’s trying to be a parody, but never quite gets there and just comes across as super uncomfortable.

    • Queen HawlSera
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      174 months ago

      It’s definitely a parody, but a parody of something so uncomfortable that making fun of it puts a bad taste in your mouth, because you can’t really mock it without… ya know… remembering that the music industry was (and probably still is) full of pedos, and that such things used to be perfectly acceptable…

      • themeatbridge
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        24 months ago

        Like singing along with Money for Nothing.

        • Queen HawlSera
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          14 months ago

          I mean, what’s wrong with that?

          Don’t most versions not include the homophobic slur anymore?

    • Ms. ArmoredThirteen
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      144 months ago

      It’s definitely a satire but also yes very dark. The music video really makes it, for anyone who wants to see one of the most unhinged pieces of media out there in its full glory

      • @[email protected]
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        54 months ago

        That was…

        You weren’t kidding. I don’t know how I’d never seen it before. I love crazy music videos, I click through old 80s/90s videos all the time. I guess that one doesn’t make it into many recommendations.

  • @mPony
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    224 months ago

    how has nobody mentioned “Girl… You’ll Be A Woman Soon” ?

    • @[email protected]
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      Was just coming here to mention that. I heard that song in a film or series I don’t remember and thought it was sus then I paid more attention and oh boy oh boy WHAT IN THE FRIED FUCK .

      • @mPony
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        34 months ago

        you may be thinking of a little underground indie film called Pulp Fiction

  • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod
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    There was a band that performed at Disneyland for just one summer in 1981 named Halyx that wrote the song “Jailbait” with lyrics like this:

    I, I, I said hey little cutie, I caught that look in your eyes, yes I did

    Ah, ah, ooh, you make me weak, ooh, you give me butterflies

    I said hey little cutie, looking for somewhere to go

    You know you make me feel wanted, but not like it’s a honorable

    Why don’t you wait till you’re older, yeah yeah, you’ll understand

    Interestingly, this was written by the female lead singer about the recent introduction of age of consent laws.

      • THCDenton
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        134 months ago

        Even Danny’s bad ideas are certified bangers.

    • Todd Bonzalez
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      74 months ago

      I once heard this song described as “a song about the exact thing you were hoping the song wasn’t about”.

      Still slaps somehow tho, which is fucked up.