• partial_accumen
    link
    English
    2624 days ago

    “Marry the Bible this year”

    Soooo many problems with this according to their own stupid rules. Here’s just a couple:

    • What gender is the Bible, because you keep telling us there’s only two and you’re telling EVERYONE to marry. You’re telling 50% of the population to engage in a gay marriage.
    • Okay, so one person went through with the marriage of the appropriate gender. Now you’re still telling a second person to marry the Bible. Are you now endorsing polygamous relationships and polygamy?
    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      1024 days ago

      The things I have to explain to secular people. Obviously, everyone needs their OWN Bible. And if you had gone to Sunday School, you would know that Bibles have to be sexed. The male Bibles are the ones with the little ribbon you can use as a bookmark. And don’t worry if some of the ribbon has been cut off, that just means it’s an Old Testament.

      • Flying SquidOP
        link
        English
        1124 days ago

        My granddaddy worked as a Bible sexer on a Bible farm.

        • @over_clox
          link
          English
          324 days ago

          Did she milk the Bible too?

          • Ignotum
            link
            English
            524 days ago

            Mm, bibbel milk 🥛

          • Flying SquidOP
            link
            English
            324 days ago

            My granddaddy was only assigned to be she at birth. How dare you!

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    2024 days ago

    Have kids with the bible. Own a van full of bible kids. Buy a house in the bible suburbs.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      1324 days ago

      Post baby Bible photos on bookface and pretend your life is better than it is. Fight with your Bible spouse in public but in hushed tones. File for Bible divorce but learn you can neither marry, nor divorce a book so you were never really married to begin with. It was just a weird ceremony you held alone in your basement surrounded by stuffed animals. 🧸

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      924 days ago

      Take the eldest bible to soccer practice, eye up other bible’s mums. Secretly hook up with another bible’s mum and……

    • @over_clox
      link
      English
      324 days ago

      Dangit, sometimes I should read the comments first, you beat me to it LOL! 👍

  • @madcaesar
    link
    English
    1924 days ago

    Absolutely read the bible. All of it, from start to finish.

    Read all the insane, perverted, racists, sexist and slavery endorsing parts, then tell me you still believe this is a book written by an all powerful, all knowing and all loving God.

    • Ignotum
      link
      English
      624 days ago

      insane, perverted, racist, sexist AND slavery endorsing?
      That’s everything i’m looking for in a partner! I’m gonna marry that book!

  • Blue
    link
    English
    1724 days ago

    Slam your Cock in the Bible

    • partial_accumen
      link
      English
      424 days ago

      This year’s hottest Halloween costume: Sexy Bible

      Not to be confused with the even more risque costume: Slutty Bible

  • @suction
    link
    English
    424 days ago

    Ok but why does it have to be this year? All the good convention venues in my area are fully booked.

  • @over_clox
    link
    English
    324 days ago

    Don’t forget to make babies with the Bible… 😂