Jesus will tell you where to find midget porn, then ask if you’re ok or want to hang out.
Is he going to bring the midget porn?
And teach you how to use a VPN because some of his followers are still learning how to be kind.
The main difference being that Google actually exists and will provide you with an answer.
I have worked with several jesuses (jesuii?). They exist but were far from all knowing.
Are you sure? Maybe they just didn’t tell you stuff.
Jesus, being all-knowing, would direct you to Bing.
Hmm… between those two choices, maybe I should look into worshiping Satan.
No. No. Satan would agree with Jesus on this one and reprimand you for not listening.
Shiva might even show up and smack you with each hand.
Bing video search
Satan comes highly recommended. Satan gave us Rock and Roll, TTRPGs, bicycles and the notion of egalitarian government. Oh and the notion of civil rights.
Jesus gave us Donald Trump and Brett Kavanaugh
Jesus doesn’t have all the answers. The Riemann hypothesis waits in the wings. So does a solution for peace in the Middle East and the end of the humanitarian crises in Palestine.
Then there’s a path out of late stage capitalism, and a solution to the climate crisis and plastic crisis. Both Jesus and Google are pretty silent on both.
As for the rise of Christian Nationalism in the US, Jesus appears to be conflicted and having a personality breakdown. Same with Google, actually.
TBF at least one of those has a known answer, it’s just a matter that the problem fundamentally is that those who can meaningfully influence the problem want the problem.
On the 7th day, God gave me weird fetishes. Thanks a lot.
God gave me those on day 2
Maybe he knows where I can find porn with guys masturbating using the nail hole in their hand?
Terrible day to have eyes.
How 'bout that I’ve never gotten no response from Google, or any search engine for that matter, and that is the only result I’ve gotten from Jesus?
404: saviour not found
Jesus sends you midget porn?
You didn’t know that Marry Madeline was a midget?
No. My statement is that I’ve yet to receive any kind of response to any inquiry directed toward Jesus while I have never been just wholly ignored by a search engine.
There used to be a game where you’d try and search Google to get the least results and I could very easily make it return nothing. lol
You should. Average male height of the day was 155cm (5′1ʺ). Plenty of midgets around.
If that applies to women too, I feel justified in calling my five-foot-even wife a midget. Let me know so I can tell her every time I call her a midget that the internet has spoken.
I know better than to justify domestic violence. 😅
But Jesus is supposed to be all-knowing. That should include midget porn, shouldn’t it?
No one doubts Jesus knows where all the midget porn is. We just feel less judged asking Google.
Jesus isn’t supposed to judge you unless you judge him, so you’d need to tell him where the midget porn is when he asks.
I always turn the other cheek and so do the midgets
Which cheek are we talking about here?
Jesus wouldn’t think midget porn was a big deal, and recognize it’s just a little fetish.
Yeah he never has the really dirty stuff.
