The work bathroom is currently a warzone, on their phone speakers people like to play music, play games at full blast, and one guy likes to chill to ambient rainforest. What song can I play to passive aggressively make it known that I don’t want to listen to their tik tok feeds while I work out my demons?

  • @surewhynotlem
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    6228 days ago

    This seems like a good time to get on my soap box.

    Every bathroom should have a cheap white noise machine. I don’t need the detailed auditory experience of someone else’s bowels. This would also probably help with OPs problem.

    • Hucklebee
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      1528 days ago

      No man, it’s a bonding experience. Loudly declare “LET 'M RIP” or "GOOD POOPIN’ " to your neigbouring stalls to wish them good luck. A small pinkytoe touch for an extra boost of courage for the road ahead.

  • Victor
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    5928 days ago

    You need to find the natural resonance frequency of the room, or stall, and make that noise. The whole room will be a huge subwoofer.

    But all these tips aside, am I the only one to think that it’s shameful to be on my phone on the toilet with sound so that others hear? Especially in the workplace? What kind of workplace is this? Median/average age?

    • @[email protected]
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      2928 days ago

      People are wild these days. My wife and sister have both, working in different industries and companies, come home and informed me they were freaked out and a bit repulsed to discover coworkers in the bathroom, audibly having a bowel movement of some sort, with an iPhone on the floor of the stall facetiming their partners. These were both work places that skewed younger, but people have just been going feral. My last job, I walked into the bathroom and heard what I assumed was the Smack, smack, smack of somebody jerking off, only to find out it was a guy near his 60s doing clap push-ups in front of the urinals.

      • Victor
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        28 days ago

        What the actual fuck.

        1. Don’t be in the way of people trying to use the urinals.
        2. Don’t put personal items on the floor of a bathroom. The floor of a bathroom is particularly disgusting.
        3. Don’t put your HANDS on the floor of a bathroom. See (2)! FFS.

        People are gross?!

        One time I found someone’s phone here in one of the office bathrooms, on top of the paper towel dispenser. I actually took it out and placed it on a stool by the foyer where we hang our coats and stuff and took a picture of it there, and pretended like that’s where I found it so that the person wouldn’t be embarrassed by me posting on Slack that I found it in the bathroom. That’s how ashamed I am of this concept, that I don’t want others to feel that shame.

        But these people you describe are acting like they’re still at home and nobody’s around, wtf.

  • @[email protected]
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    28 days ago

    CBAT - they will get horny, jerk off in sync to the rhythm then leave

    Alien Hip Hop - they will be either extremely confused or will get inspired to leave and form a prog rock band immediately

    The Woven Web - it’s such an incredibly sick song that they will have to mute their speakers and bop to it

    • edric
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      127 days ago

      Lmao let’s see them try to time their farts with Alien Hip Hop.

  • Neato
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    1628 days ago

    Call into a teams meeting and occasionally say something (don’t actually unmute).

      • @[email protected]
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        528 days ago

        I’m not sure the average “video” conference includes someone with their camera on.

        I’d guess it’s like 60% of Zooms have at least one person on camera but it’s quite common for people to skip video. Don’t see any stats about it.

      • Neato
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        428 days ago

        You don’t have to turn camera on. In fact almost none of my teams calls use video. That would mean we’d all have to get dressed…

        • @QuarterSwede
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          227 days ago

          My work requires video if possible and not distracting. I’m so used to it note I don’t really care what you’re doing. Bathroom would be a hard no though.

  • @Grimy
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    1528 days ago

    Pornography, the weird ASMR kind

  • Hucklebee
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    1428 days ago

    I could be friends with the rainforest guy. Seems like a chill dude, just wants to shit in peace.

  • guyrocket
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    1228 days ago

    So. You’d rather hear your coworkers shit?

    Isn’t almost any sound better than that?

    • @drhugsymcfurOP
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      1028 days ago

      Have you ever had a job? Hardly anyone visits the office bathroom for a 45 min long dump.

      • @Lost_My_Mind
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        1528 days ago

        Hey! Is it too god damn much to ask for 2 seperate 80 minute sessions of quality dump time in the standard work day?

          • @Lost_My_Mind
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            528 days ago

            I thought so…I’ll pass that along to whom, or whomever brought it up…