Can my husband find out who I am voting for in the Presidential Election?"

Olivia Dreizen Howell, the founder of a website to help women get back on their feet after a breakup or divorce, tweeted last week, “We’ve been getting this question a lot,” so she followed up with some facts. As the Washington Post confirmed with experts, the answer is simple: “No; it will be public record that you voted, but not how you filled out your ballot.”

The GOP ticket is led by a sexual predator who a jury found “‘raped’ [journalist E. Jean Carroll] as many people commonly understand the word ‘rape,’” the judge in the case wrote. His running mate, Sen. JD Vance of Ohio, has called for a national abortion ban, wrote the forward to a book that denounced contraception for making pregnancy “seem like an optional and not natural result of having sex,” and repeatedly called women who haven’t given birth “sociopathic” and “childless cat ladies.”

Meanwhile, the Democratic ticket is led by a woman who chose “Freedom” by Beyoncé as her campaign song, and has dispensed with the mealy-mouthed language about abortion rights to declare she stands for “the freedom of a woman to make decisions about her own body.” Her running mate, Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota, her running mate, has decried “weird” MAGA Republicans of the “he-man woman haters’ club.”

  • Admiral Patrick
    link
    fedilink
    English
    2264 months ago

    The big question touching a nerve this election: “Can my husband find out who I am voting for?”

    That’s one of those questions I feel like, if you find yourself asking it, you should probably get out of that marriage. (I know easier said than done)

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      884 months ago

      Honestly. As a guy who is lefty (and bi, but mostly dates women). The dating scene has been way easier these past 5 or so years.

      The political male-female divide means that right wing women, and left wing men, are far more “in demand” among heterosexual people. (queer people are majoritarily leftwing so it matters less there.)

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          244 months ago

          I hate that guy so fucking much. It really disenchanted me from NZ that they literally sold him citizenship.

          • osaerisxero
            link
            fedilink
            74 months ago

            You’re thinking about it the wrong way. We should be thanking NZ for pulling them all to one central location.

            • @[email protected]
              link
              fedilink
              194 months ago

              He’s not actually living in NZ. He just bought citizenship which allowed him to buy the native and protected lands he wanted to buy (only citizens are allowed to buy them).

              • osaerisxero
                link
                fedilink
                144 months ago

                Yes, but that was so he could install his bunker there like all the other paranoid billionaires, yes?

                • knightly the Sneptaur
                  link
                  fedilink
                  124 months ago

                  Hows the concrete industry in NZ? I imagine that sealing all those bunkers will be a priority once the rich assholes have locked themselves inside.

        • d00phy
          link
          English
          54 months ago

          I certainly can celebrate that. I’m stuck reading his stupid book “Zero to One” for a work extracurricular. Can’t wait to discuss it with the EVP who chose it.

            • d00phy
              link
              English
              74 months ago

              Not really. It’s not mandatory. I generally love where I work, so I signed up for this. Didn’t know this would be book 1. If the reading selection continues at this quality level p, I’ll happily drop out and go back to reading all the Bosch universe books!

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      274 months ago

      That’s one of those questions I feel like, if you find yourself asking it, you should probably get out of that marriage. (I know easier said than done)

      Why do you think Republicans want to get rid of no fault divorce?

      • @Dkarma
        link
        174 months ago

        So the kids they marry can’t leave, duh.

    • @UnderpantsWeevil
      link
      English
      554 months ago

      Many marriages are still fundamentally financial arrangements. Living together is cheaper, especially with kids. And when you own half of each other’s stuff (particularly when that stuff is real estate or retirement or cars) decoupling isn’t simple.

      • @Hellinabucket
        link
        English
        274 months ago

        My parents have been married for 35 years cause it’s cheaper than getting divorced.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          -24 months ago

          Getting a divorce is really cheap if you just do it yourself. If they’re capable of living together for 35 years, they should be able to manage signing a few documents together.

          • @Hellinabucket
            link
            English
            14 months ago

            Adjusting living arrangements and insurance and other assets isn’t as easy or straight forward though. And if everything has to be intermingled why go to the time of doing the paper work.

      • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod
        link
        English
        44 months ago

        I did estate planning with my GF because I want to make sure she’s okay if something happens to me. It cost $1000. We could have gotten the same legal protections by getting married for $150. And we’re both still paying single person tax rates.

    • @ganksy
      link
      454 months ago

      I don’t know…if my wife voted for trump we might have impassible dispositions. I’d have to rethink some shit.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          324 months ago

          Older women in my family—with the best of intentions, have pleaded with me to overlook abusive, violent men at home because men just can’t help the way they are and it’s a woman’s job to forget and make peace.

          These are people that fundamentally don’t think they have a right to baseline respect in their own homes by the people who supposedly loved them most. They’d need a decade’s worth of therapy just to find their best interests, and then another to act on them.

          • Mbourgon everywhere
            link
            114 months ago

            And if you ask them about Bill Clinton and Lewinsky, it’s an entirely different answer!

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          204 months ago

          I’ve said it a couple times now, conservative women are some of the most brainwashed on the planet. They’re literally voting their rights away. It’s sad cause I wish they had all the resources they need and want but they vote against themselves constantly.

        • @P00ptart
          link
          94 months ago

          Or veterans/soldiers for that matter.

    • @glimse
      link
      154 months ago

      Emotional/psychological/sometimes physical abuse can do that to someone. Especially after the slow, deliberate dismantling of your social circle that sociopaths like to do. Add to that the stigma of being a single mom…

    • @morphballganon
      link
      34 months ago

      It’s not ideal. Alas, people change, and sometimes you realize you’re stuck in situations where bailing would cause undue hardship to your kids, so you try to make it work.

  • @TheDemonBuer
    link
    864 months ago

    My wife is going to vote for Harris/Walz. She’s told me several times. I think I’m gonna vote for them too.

    • @mipadaitu
      link
      English
      554 months ago

      I used to vote for the Democratic candidate.

      I still vote for the Democrats, but I used to too.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      34 months ago

      My wife wanted to sit out the election when it was Biden running over his unending support of the slaughter in Gaza, and the only thing that got her out to vote was that the were also some ballot measures which needed votes. I wrote on Cenk Uyger for the primary myself, not sure how she voted. Now we’re both super excited to vote for Harris/Walz

      Obviously we’ve got fairly similar political views

    • Icalasari
      link
      fedilink
      194 months ago

      Considering the sheer strain on the body pregnancy and birth have, I feel like being a mysoginist would automatically qualify one for a breeding fetish

      • @WoahWoah
        link
        11
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        To be fair, not having children is hard on a woman’s body as well. Increased risks for uterine, ovarian, and breast cancers to name only a few.

        Patriarchal medical providers often don’t inform childless women of this and don’t encourage additional and more regular cancer screenings.

        They just ignore women’s concerns, sometimes until it’s too late–an all too familiar story for women and the history of medicine.

    • @Wrench
      link
      184 months ago

      Cheaper? My childless catlady wife spends a fortune on our elder cats with health problems.

      I have no problem with it, that’s what I knew I was marrying. But they certainly aren’t cheap. The vets know us like we’re regulars.

        • @AngryCommieKender
          link
          54 months ago

          You’d think that. I know someone that spent $50,000 back in the '90s trying to save her collie that had cancer.

      • Null User Object
        link
        fedilink
        84 months ago

        Have you looked at the cost of day care? And diapers? Or just having a place to live with the extra necessary bedrooms? Pre pandemic I read some article that (as I vaguely remember) estimated it costs at least $100k to raise a child to 18 in the US. I imagine it’s closer to $150k or more by now. Probably way more.

      • @Dkarma
        link
        54 months ago

        You can always put down your cats. Gotta pay if that kid has cancer tho.

        • AnIndefiniteArticle
          link
          fedilink
          44 months ago

          Gotta pay if that kid has cancer tho.

          Not if you choose the power of prayer as treatment.

          The pious man’s euthanasia.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    554 months ago

    Last presidential election here in Brazil some churches were asking their people to swap children with other couples so that those children could keep watch to ensure everybody is voting for the right candidate (children are the only ones allowed to join you in the voting booth).

  • @recklessengagement
    link
    444 months ago

    As someone who’s worked multiple elections, your ballot is never tied to your name/ID. Even if someone broke into the box and stole the ballots, there’s no way to know whos is who.

    When ballots are audited/recounted, its based on things like the number of ballots vs the number of recorded voters, the signature of the precinct officer, and the qualities of the ballot itself. No identifying informationm.

    • @Dkarma
      link
      34 months ago

      This is not even remotely true for mail in ballots. They are returned in an envelope that has your name, address and signature on it.

      • @andrewta
        link
        8
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        Honest question : on mail in ballots even though you name is on the envelope, doesn’t the envelope get separated from the ballot? So there is no real way to know who voted for whom? @[email protected]

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          64 months ago

          My state mail in procedure is to send your ballot in an envelope without identifying info, and that envelope goes inside a larger envelope so they can verify you. I assume they separate it for counting later

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            74 months ago

            I have worked elections too. Can confirm. The ballot is separated from identifying info once validated.

      • @recklessengagement
        link
        24 months ago

        True, but once they are recieved, they’re seperated from the identifying information. It’s not stored in a database somewhere.

        The only time I’d argue this isn’t the case would be for provisional ballots, where they often will send you a letter after it gets processed.

  • @rayyy
    link
    384 months ago

    “Mind your own business”. Of course some men, mostly Republican men, think they own their wives.

  • nkat2112
    link
    fedilink
    English
    304 months ago

    Imagine how it has come down to this.

    I salute the women, minorities, and all folks who have decency and do the right thing during this and all other elections. Let’s all please be sure to vote.

  • @AA5B
    link
    284 months ago

    How is this a big question? Isn’t this common knowledge, one of the first things you learn about voting?

    • originalucifer
      link
      fedilink
      464 months ago

      learn about voting

      these are fox news households were talkin about… they want less voting, not more

    • @Today
      link
      124 months ago

      Voting is not something we do everyday or for most people even every year. Sometimes Democrat and Republican primaries are held in different rooms or at different locations, So if this is your first time or that’s all you know, it’s a real question.

      • @Delta_V
        link
        64 months ago

        The polling places in some rural municipalities are literally Masonic lodges where they make you announce out loud to all in attendance which primary you want to vote in.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          44 months ago

          Wait. There are places where your primary party is not public knowledge when you vote? Fuuuck. (it’s usually a fire hall, not a lodge in my experience.)

        • @aesthelete
          link
          34 months ago

          My parents still vote at a fucking gun club.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      74 months ago

      I’ll fully admit to being completely ignorant about voting the first time I did it. I was politically disengaged for moody teenager reasons, but my parents forced me to go to the polling station anyway. I didn’t care to vote for any of the candidates, but was also worried that I would get in trouble if I spoiled my ballot because I hadn’t paid attention in civics (again, for moody teenager reasons).

  • @Jordan117
    link
    English
    284 months ago

    Important to note that the same is not true for political donations. Idk what the cutoff is but even relatively small amounts get reported to the FEC and make their way into various searchable public databases. Just something to keep in mind if you’re in a vulnerable situation.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    274 months ago

    Nobody can know who you voted for in the booth unless you tell them. Just that you voted. Ballots are unsigned and you place it in the box (supervised, but folded and unexamined) yourself.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        94 months ago

        An abusive husband could loom over the wife as they filled it in too. Is why I said ‘in the booth’.

  • @morphballganon
    link
    204 months ago

    Her running mate, Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota, her running mate,

    But is he her running mate though?

    • OhStopYellingAtMe
      link
      134 months ago

      I caught that too, and was going to make a comment saying I caught that too.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      24 months ago

      They just wanted to make sure you know they are running together and exercising appropriately as good examples for America!

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    124 months ago

    The answer is no, BUT, if you’re that worried about it, perhaps your choice of husband is a problem.

    • @Dkarma
      link
      -174 months ago

      Too bad she sounds like poo