Sheriff’s deputies in Washington’s Kitsap County frequently get calls about animals — loose livestock, problem dogs. But the 911 call they received recently from a woman being hounded by dozens of raccoons swarming her home near Poulsbo stood out.

The woman reported having had to flee her property after 50 to 100 raccoons descended upon it and were acting aggressively, said Kevin McCarty, a spokesperson for the sheriff’s office. She told deputies she started feeding a family of raccoons decades ago and it was fine until about six weeks earlier, when the number showing up went from a handful to around 100.

  • sp3ctr4l
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    684 months ago

    She… she fed them.

    facepalm

    This is why you DONT DO THAT.

    She deserves her fate, smh.

    • FuglyDuck
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      184 months ago

      Or… if you do. feed them from the neighbor’s patio. specifically, the neighbor you don’t like.

  • @[email protected]
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    594 months ago

    Don’t feed the raccoons! Yes, they are very intelligent and adorable. Just talk to them and befriend them, but never ever feed them. Watch the movie Gremlins for more info.

  • @graham1
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    364 months ago

    Legit question for rural Americans - how do I kill the 50-100 feral raccoons that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play

      • @[email protected]
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        154 months ago

        The only way to stop 50-100 raccoons that run into your yard is with a good guy with a gun.

        • @[email protected]
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          104 months ago

          The only way to stop 50-100 bad raccoons that run into your yard is 50-100 good raccoons with guns

          • @foggy
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            54 months ago

            😒✋

            😏👉

        • @[email protected]
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          24 months ago

          This is why we need machine guns. Imagine trying to get all 100 with a semi auto rifle. I think you’d get maybe 10 before you get mobbed by raccoons.

      • Flying Squid
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        4 months ago

        Yeah. Go full Leiningen on them!

        Edit: Wow, I never read that Wikipedia page before. That story has 100% more inspiration from Hitler than I was ever taught about in school. They didn’t even tell us the author was German.

    • @[email protected]
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      4 months ago

      Raccoons are smart and will learn from the mistakes of their brethren. Perhaps you could encase a neighbor child in Kevlar and have them run around a route of raccoon bait and, uh, humane land mines?

      Edit shit I think you were referencing the feral hogs meme. I vaguely remember that from a Jamie Loftus joint

  • @[email protected]
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    344 months ago

    That’s a lot of raccoon poop, and I don’t feel confident that the kind of person who thinks feeding raccoons for decades is a good idea would know that raccoon poop parasites are incurable and will likely kill you.

  • @aeronmelon
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    314 months ago

    Raccoons: “We are no longer asking.”

    • @[email protected]
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      24 months ago

      Was a component of my job in counties neighboring Kitsap Co.

      The answer is likely: Maybe. A lot of the times people do stuff like this without critical thinking and stop pretty much once notified or after some shit like this happens.

      But a few certainly, explicitly, do not and will continue with a vengeance until effectively run out of the area. Like out of one county, like Kitsap, into another county so it became my jurisdiction to handle the belligerent wildlife feeder. shakes fist into the ether (no personal experience at all nosirsee)

      Public Health and/or Water Quality programs usually wild up with the bag in those situations.

  • quicklime
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    174 months ago

    Now is that better or worse than being raccooned by up to 100 hounds?

    • Flying Squid
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      74 months ago

      I would be happy to be raccooned by up to 100 hounds if they are good boys and girls that want to give kisses and receive belly scratches.

    • @Eheran
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      34 months ago

      … what did I just watch…?

      • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️
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        74 months ago

        Pompoko, sometimes subtitled “The Raccoon War.”

        That scene is among the least zany things that happen in it. You should check it out; it is absolutely worth a watch. Especially if you’re into Japanese mythology and yōkai. So in that vein, I’m going to throw down some nerd trivia, now.

        Yes, those raccoons (tanuki, actually) were attacking people with their balls. This is consistent with Japanese folklore.

        The tanuki are Japanese racoon dogs, are traditionally tricksters, and are said to have shapeshifting powers. Mario’s raccoon and “tanooki” suit (arguably misspelled in the English translation) is based on this:

        This includes the ability to turn into a statue…

        …which is something that the tanuki also do in the movie, or attempt to do, with varying success:

        Note also how they use their, er, sacks to glide. Does that remind you of anything?

        You’ll never look at him the same way ever again.

      • @SkunkWorkz
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        24 months ago

        Pompoko. A Studio Ghibli movie.

  • @ATDA
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    94 months ago

    Some people just don’t know what to do with swarms of loyal animals…

  • @jpreston2005
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    94 months ago

    She missed a grand opportunity to fence off the area, create a raccoon preserve, and charge people to feed them pellets of food she’ll also sell them. Raccoons are adorable, she probably could have gotten enough money to fight the eventual lawsuit after one of’em bites a kid

  • Flying Squid
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    64 months ago

    And I thought the one raccoon we had to get removed from our attic was a problem…

  • @LaunchesKayaks
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    14 months ago

    I got jumped by 3 raccoons last year. Got scratched and had to get rabies shots. I leave a fresh duck egg out every night and the raccoons leave me and my trash alone now. I can’t imagine trying to strike a deal with 100 of the fuckers.