Step 0:
Eat a virus modified to cary lactase genes into your gutThe pictured cheese is very likely practically lactose-free.
I sometimes wonder if I am only partially lactose intolerant because I can eat cheese all day and be fine; but if I drink a glass of milk, 30 to 45 minutes later I’m peeing out my ass.
Ripened cheese has very little lactose in it as the aging process uses lactose as fuel
a lot of cheese is basically lactose free, if it ripened long enough.
Take a look at the nutrition values of the various kinds of cheeses (where I live it usually lists the macros right on the package). Milk is about 3% carbohydrates/sugar (i.e. 3% lactose), while most cheeses that aren’t white have about 0% sugar.
If the worst effect of lactose intolerance is diarrhea, I think I would choose having diarrhea over not eating cheese.
It’s not the diarrhea itself, it’s the sudden “critical pressure reached, 30 seconds until launch” moments that make things difficult.
I know the feeling. I tried extended fasting a couple of times. After the third day it looks exactly as what You described. I shat on my couch the first time I tried it.
For me it’s several hours of pain, like I ate plastic, and no diarrhea. I always carry lactaid pills on me because I can’t give up dairy. So there is a way to do it. But I still forget to take em and keep screwing myself over but I keep trying cuz cheese
It can also last for hours and be rather painful. I spent the entire night crying in my friends bathroom.
Me after a Chili cheese burger and chili cheese fries. To this day I don’t know why I did it without taking my pills.
Ever tried those Buldak ramen? Similar experience.
After reading the comments I can assume, lactose intolerance is like combining the effects of eating extremely hot food with extended fasting. Seams rough. But on the other hand, cheese. The second best thing You can eat. Totally worth it.
Wait, extremely hot food and long gaps between them is like my default state of being. What’s wrong with this?
