DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TOWARDS ANY MYTHOLOGY. People may speak of eating your favorite beings, please be prepared for such.

To start off, While I am a pescatarian, I think biblical angels would be delicious fried / grilled, specifically the ones who aren’t high enough to be abstract shapes, as I do not think I can stomach a wheel.

  • Dave Coe
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    6721 days ago

    The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    • @Dasus
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      2421 days ago

      I’ve been off gluten for a while now for medical reasons and god damn this a thousand times. I would kill for some decent spaghetti.

      All the gluten free ones are kinda shit.

      • @[email protected]
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        21 days ago

        I would imagine the FSM to be composed of the platonic ideal of gluten rather than physical gluten, though I’m not sure if that would be more irritating or less. I’d consult a GI and maybe a metaphysician.

        • skulblaka
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          220 days ago

          Metaphysician here. The platonic ideal of gluten will induce the platonic ideal of diarrhea. Honestly I’m not going to call that a good trade, but that’s an exercise for the reader.

        • @Dasus
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          120 days ago

          Chickpeas are legumes and legumes don’t have gluten. Although you should still check products because there might be crosd contam or added wheat in some products.

          But yeah probably chickpea spaghetti can be found gluten free. I’ll put it on the “to try” list, but I’m not too hopeful. I’ve tried a whole bunch and without that gluten in there, just can’t get the consistency right enough for it to please me.

          So I just got a rice cooker.

          • Tiefling IRL
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            120 days ago

            I’ll warn you that it overcooks easily. Cook it for less time than normal pasta.

            • @Dasus
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              119 days ago

              Huh maybe it might be okay then because the ones I’ve been using have had longer cook times and even when I played around with them, never got them nice.

              Ty for the tips.

  • @[email protected]
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    2721 days ago

    A medium rare Phoenix might be interesting. Though you’d have to work really hard not to burn it, else you get a baby Phoenix.

    Many early generation Pokemon might be delicious. I don’t want to eat any steel type Pokemon.

    • megane-kun
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      721 days ago

      Charcoal grilled phoenix might be good! Maybe basted in some really hot chili sauce? Or maybe even as simple as a soy sauce based baste. Keeping the phoeinix moist with some basting liquid is probably a good way to keep it from burning.

      I don’t mind a deep-fried baby Phoenix tho.

    • Clocks [They/Them]OP
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      621 days ago

      I never thought about burning a phoenix might be problematic. But isn’t that an infinite phoenix glitch in which someone can keep making more phoenixes to eat?

      • @[email protected]
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        721 days ago

        Dark thought for a D&D group: How much of a Phoenix do you think you need to keep for it to respawn?

        • megane-kun
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          20 days ago

          I think if not fleshed out in the mythology being used in the setting, it’s in the DM’s prerogative. If I were DM, I’d say the Phoenix has to actually die before it can respawn.

          Slicing off a Phoenix’s wings will just result in an injured and very pissed-off Phoenix.

          Moreover, I’d stipulate that whatever Phoenix parts (butchered, raw, or cooked, or even partly-digested) would disappear whenever that Phoenix respawns. And for a spicy twist: someone who digests any part of a Phoenix will have a psychic link to the Phoenix. Wisdom check after every long rest (three days after ingesting the Phoenix) to determine whether or not the person retains control of their body. Failing this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the Phoenix gaining complete control. Succeeding this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the person regaining complete control of their own body.

          EDIT:

          Thinking about this more, I think this can be fleshed out even more. There is only one Phoenix, which was eaten by a bunch of people believing eating it would result in gaining whatever powers the Phoenix originally had, maybe being impervious to fire. However, the Phoenix took over their bodies instead. Many many many years later, the Phoenix never really dies: it just choose a body it controls, and transforms it to “its original body”. Thus, now, the Phoenix is known for its “immortality”.

  • @spittingimage
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    2121 days ago

    I bet Jörmungandr the world-serpent, who gnaws at the roots of Yggdrasil-tree, destined to kill and be killed by Thor, tastes like chicken.

  • Mister Neon
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    2021 days ago

    I’m a vegetarian so I want either a golden apple or an apple from Eden.

    • @essell
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      721 days ago

      Ironically, the best.

    • @Jonnyprophet
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      520 days ago

      Wow… Legit. All you can eat too. Just stop back tomorrow.

  • @RBWells
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    1421 days ago

    Didn’t Zeus go around appearing as things like swans? Is swan like goose? Christmas Zeus, with a bonus of all that fat to fry potatoes in is my choice. Just gotta catch him in swan form.

    • @Jonnyprophet
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      320 days ago

      Tiny Tim: Mom, look at the Christmas Zeus! It’s almost as big as me!

    • megane-kun
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      220 days ago

      The problem with ingesting Zeus is that I’d have a good chance (nearly 100% based on my Greek mythology knowledge) I’d end up being pregnant and incurring Hera’s wrath, or being whisked to Olympus as his winebearer… or both!

  • @Feathercrown
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    920 days ago

    Bro’s gonna get to the great beyond and experience horrors beyond human comprehension for this one

  • @binary45
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    821 days ago

    I’d say one of those immortality peaches from Chinese myth. Probably one of the eternal youth ones that blooms every six thousand years.

  • @Etterra
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    820 days ago

    I would most prefer the Tyrant (the judeo-muslim-Christian God) because nothing tastes better than vindictive spite.

  • @GraniteM
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    820 days ago

    I loved swordfish steak the one time I had it, so I’d bet that Scylla, Charybdis, or the Kraken would be quite good.

    Oh, also The Kraken is quite tasty.