Firecracker.
Aerodynamic.
Fleshodynamic*
Firecracker for ease, Tweety to please.
I wish I hadn’t read this.
Push pop sounds made for the job
With that flat top and wide body?
It’s got the applicator though
Which is a flat top and wide body. This is one of those expert only type toys…
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Now this is shitposting
Technically he only posted ice-cream
…can I take more than one?
Story of my life here
I read it as “you have two” so you can have at least 2. However many past the first you want to shove up there is up to you
Firecracker would be the least cumbersome. But I always wondered what it would be like to be penetrated by a taco, instead of the other way around.
You fuck tacos?
Of the pink variety.
Snowcone because it melts faster and will moisen the paper making it easier to remove.
I was going to say that
Strawberry eclair so it blends in.
Hospital. Now.
their ice cream is awful tho
Tweety’s gonna go spelunking.
I’ve been talking about Choco Tacos all week. What the fuck do I have to do to get one? This implies they are still around for me to be able to shove one up my ass. Is that what I have to do? I’ll fucking do it at this point
Now I’m gonna need someone to rap a homemade recipe to me
I make damn good ice cream, too… it shouldn’t be too hard to replicate but it’s been so long since I’ve had one I forget the exact construction.
Soggy waffle cone shell is a must. Vanilla, covered in a chocolate shell. Nuts maybe? I suppose I could look it up
but like, do I line the waffle cone with chocolate like they do with a drumstick? like, between the cone and the ice cream. I can overcomplicate this
You should overcomplicate this. That solid chunk of chocolate at the bottom is the best part. If I’m being honest, I think a choco taco is just a drumstick in taco form
In Germany we have an ice cram called Flutsch Finger for exactly that purpose.
Firecracker and it’s not even close. I’ve put ice cubes up there before and it wasn’t nearly as bad as you’d imagine. The shape of it will make it easy. Plus, the ridges on it mean you’ll have less ice in contact with your skin. At some point it melts and it’s just a Popsicle stick.
Edit: Additional thoughts on this because I can’t stop thinking about how goofy this is lol. I’ve cream sandwich and to a lesser degree the chipwich are tempting. The difficulty would be that they just crumble and don’t really go in, but you have to shove it in. I’m counting melted ice cream/ice that comes out after it’s in as not needing to be reinserted. I’ve cream sandwich “crust” is actually very soft so it wouldn’t be bad to have in there. It’s just the process of getting it in would be very weirdly difficult.
Many of the other choices (like the snow cone thing and push pop) have a lot of plastic parts that make it basically impossible.
The drumstick may seem tempting but it’s just gonna crack and hurt.
Once the popsicle stick of the firecracker is in, you just softly pull it out. The biggest risk is splinters, but I don’t think popsicle sticks in popsicles ever really have splinters like the loose ones you can buy for projects.
No contest, push pop has a user friendly applicator
I’m gonna need some clarifications here. Does the stick/cone/tube go for the ride? How far up the ass does it need to go? Is this a proper insertion or a wedding-cake photo-op mushing situation? If it’s insertion, can the ice cream be modified to fit the butthole, or must the butthole adapt to the ice cream? There’s a lot of moving parts and complex interplay going on.
Breyers Ice Cream Box.
Firecracker is the nearest thing to a red rocket, so
