• MushuChupacabra
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    2981 month ago

    Ballet stars, and their notoriously poor balance.

  • Flying SquidM
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    1791 month ago

    Stay on the ground floor, Russians.

      • @ATDA
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        451 month ago

        So do poisonings, and shootings but we’re just mitigating circumstances here lol.

    • @[email protected]
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      251 month ago

      “Tragically fell from the ground floor balcony and landed on two bullets to the back of the head.”

  • @[email protected]
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    1 month ago

    A nice window to the future for US citizens critical of their government… a window ripe for defenestration…

    If I die mysteriously from a fall, please refer to this comment.

    • @[email protected]
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      801 month ago

      Actually you will probably die in a Tesla whose doors do not open https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/friends-trapped-in-tesla-burned-to-death-when-electronic-doors-failed-to-open-after-crash/ar-AA1tWPYH

      Or which just hits you: https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/

      I mean now where Teslas are probably the next mandatory car for state officials. And after some “Think Tank” will be pretty sure that all the saftey fuss about autopilots is bad for the economy.

      • @[email protected]
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        41 month ago

        I’m afraid that in the future they will try to require self-driving in all cars, citing some bs about how self-driving is “safer” (in theory, and under perfect conditions)

        • skulblaka
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          91 month ago

          Actually, legislating that FSD be required in all cars would go a huge way towards shoring up all the problems with it. The most dangerous thing on the road is another living human, and computers can’t adjust for the inherent chaos that we living humans bring to the road. Remove the humans and you have a way smaller problem to solve.

          Teslas especially can’t cope, and keep running over kids and cop cars because Musk has forbidden them from installing the proper technology to solve their problem. LIDAR isn’t a magic bullet for this but it’s pretty damn close, and it’s way way better than just using visual sensors only. Elon is just so high on his own farts that he won’t allow Tesla to use LIDAR on their cars, despite every other FSD-attempting manufacturer seeing great returns from it and rapidly outpacing Tesla’s first mover advantage. But they’re trying to solve the wrong problem, making a car see and drive like a person. People are terrible at driving. They need to make the car drive like a computer. If all cars were required to have FSD and humans weren’t allowed to drive anymore we’d have a functioning auto-pool within 10 years. Maybe less than that if measures were put in place to ensure cross-car communication on the road. If every car within 100 meters of you is sharing sensor data and telling each other their speed, heading, and braking, you’d never see another car-to-car accident in your life.

          Point being, we already have the technology to solve this problem, what we don’t have is the technology to solve this problem on the same roads that people are already driving on, weaving around their old manually-controlled cars that they’re driving in. Building FSD-only roads could solve this. Changing motor vehicle laws could solve this. But neither of those are going to solve it without significant headache or push back from the public. The real problem is that we’re trying to solve both “cars can’t drive themselves” and “people drive like rabid orangutans” problems at the same time. Remove one of those problems - say by restricting or removing manual driving - and suddenly a proper solution is easily within grasp.

          Please note that I am NOT saying that this is a good idea, not least of which because myself and most people I know drive a 20-40 year old car and would be unable to switch to a new self driving car unless the government literally provided me one and bought my old car. And if we DID try to enact that across the country we’d run out of g-men in the first week because they’d all be shot dead by farmers and truck bros when they showed up to try and repossess the vehicles. Not to mention the fact that a government provided car is inherently untrustable by anyone, anywhere. The logistics on this would just be insane, and the best case way to tackle it would be to phase it in like they did with backup cameras. But there’s a problem here. Every new car may be FSD-enabled but the FSD they have won’t be able to be used - because the road is still full of live dumb-ass primates. So 25 years down the line maybe 94% of cars still on the road are now FSD enabled but nobody has ever used the damn thing and most people probably aren’t going to want to start then. So at this point you’ve only sort of solved the distribution problem (although not really, even then, because a single human-operated car on the road can fuck up everything for all the automated cars by acting unpredictably and potentially not being linked in, and there will always, always be at least one poor bastard driving a 50 year old beat-to-fuck Toyota no matter when or where you are) and we run right back into the same societal adaptation problem we had before, just with the can kicked down the road.

          So like, tl;dr, this wouldn’t be an awful idea if we weren’t all human beings. I guess that’s true of a lot of things. If we could just do it in one big flush and just tell people “this is the way things are now” and have them listen and cooperate, it’d be a great solution. But as with many things it’s the “getting people on board with the plan” part of the plan that makes it, in my opinion, soundly impossible.

          Aaand I’ve just spent the better part of half an hour talking myself into a circle to basically agree with you. Lovely. Cheers 🍻

          • @angrystego
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            71 month ago

            The idea of FSD cars being safe if there are no human drivers is true only if you abandon the nice thought of having cyclists and pedestrians. Having the option to walk or ride a bike is amazing and worth aspiring to.

          • @[email protected]
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            21 month ago

            There’s another issue too. In perfect conditions, self-driving cars are a lot safer, but they aren’t 100% safe. So when an incident occurs it’s newsworthy. (In the same way that we hear about plane crashes anywhere in the world, but won’t necessarily hear about someone getting run over in the next city).

            My hypothesis is that adoption would be throttled in even near perfect conditions. Just because we’ve internalised the risks of driving, but haven’t for the risks of being driven by a computer.

        • @[email protected]
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          41 month ago

          Self-driving cars are safer, in general, overall - it’s just that the specific cases in which they fail are different from anything a (halfway competent and alert) person would fail at.

          • @[email protected]
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            11 month ago

            People assess risks differently based on what the results could be. Burning to death trapped in a car is pretty high on the “avoid this” list, and americans likely are asking “if I get hit by a Tesla who do I sue?” If the answer is Tesla then thats a much higher risk than if its the person in the drivers seat.

            Its about ehat types of mistakes can happen and how they are handled. Many prefer gas automobiles as they consider them less risky.

          • @[email protected]
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            11 month ago

            Self-driving cars are safer, in general, overall

            Self driving cars in general, maybe. Teslas in particular, probably not so much, especially with Musk refusing to use LIDAR…

    • @[email protected]
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      -11 month ago

      You may want to check the history of your country. It’s your past your present and your future.

    • @surph_ninja
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      -21 month ago

      A window to the present for journalists critical of Israel.

  • @[email protected]
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    1281 month ago

    They don’t have any budget to do it differently or it’s a power move, like, it’s not official but you know it?

    • @Kyrgizion
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      1811 month ago

      It’s a calling card. Everyone knows what happened, not a single soul will comment on it. Unless they fancy being the next up for flight lessons.

    • @Maggoty
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      71 month ago

      Power move. That and shooting yourself, in the back, multiple times.

    • @pyre
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      161 month ago

      don’t worry this is just normal tea I offer before I throw you off building

    • @Maggoty
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      1 month ago

      You’re just blessed enough not to recognize gallows humor. We’re actually jealous of you.

    • @GreenKnight23
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      81 month ago

      make sure you check your railings in America before January.

      Everyone else is stocking up on food and drugs.

      I’m stocking up on steel railings and evacuation air pads.

    • @[email protected]
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      -1281 month ago

      Unfortunately anti-russian racism is acceptable here. When you see a headline like this, just be ready for the comments.

  • PorradaVFR
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    861 month ago

    I mean ballet dancers are known for being klutzy and prone to tripping over their own feet. Right?

    • Carighan Maconar
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      91 month ago

      Happens all the time, it’s why they recommend you don’t practice ballet on slippery roofs.

    • @4lan
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      31 month ago

      Give it 2 months for the US

      • @[email protected]
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        31 month ago

        The US would never do this. Too much money to be made in the prison industry with legalized slavery. Much better investment to put them behind bars to generate profit.

  • @cyd
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    631 month ago

    I imagine Russia is like the Star Wars setting, lots of crazy steep drops and they never install railings.

    • @FourPacketsOfPeanuts
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      261 month ago

      The platform where Darth Vader confronts Luke has railings, so they clearly have the parts, tools, and a guy who installs them. Maybe he’s just held up on Level B?

      • @reinei
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        141 month ago

        Or maybe they literally one have that one guy/gal installing the railings throughout the entire Republic‽

        • lad
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          101 month ago

          I hope ey finished the job on the Death Star and didn’t explode with it. Cause then it would be zero people installing railings afterwards

          • @WindyRebel
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            1 month ago

            They are a contractor. They were obviously on a different job starting that before they came back to the Death Star.

          • @FourPacketsOfPeanuts
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            51 month ago

            Contractor: finishes 15 miles of railings on death star sub levels, moves to imperial star destroyer for next job

            casually looks out window, death star explodes

            Contractor: “mother f…”

  • @GreenKnight23
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    521 month ago

    In another article emergency services responded with this gem.

    He died a natural death. It’s not a crime.

    should we be worried

    • @iAvicenna
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      261 month ago

      cause of death: the natural impact of cement on the body experienced after a perfectly natural fall

    • @Etterra
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      330 days ago

      Everything is fine, nothing to see here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going home. To my family. Which I love very much. And who I would never put in danger by not doing my job exactly as instructed.

  • @Valmond
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    1 month ago

    This just piles up on the reasons Russia needs to be denuclearisased, putin getting ousted, democracy installed and so on.

    Good news Russias economy is in the toilet and someone has started flushing already, Ukrain will prevail and hopefully we’ll have peace one day.

    • @solomon42069
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      511 month ago

      More realistically, he’ll probably die of old age or be ousted by someone younger and more exciting to the wealthy elite that keep Putin in power. Real change may come after that, but a change in leadership is not going to immediately fix long term issues like corruption, wealth disparity, etc.

      • @brucethemoose
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        251 month ago

        I think they will become a Chinese vassal.

        I don’t know exactly what that’d look like, but the pure economic/political dynamics make it seem kinda inevitable.

        • @[email protected]
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          51 month ago

          A unified China/Russia alliance sounds like a player in a near future sci-fi, so I’ll take that as a good sign

          • @solomon42069
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            1 month ago

            A unified China/Russia alliance

            The Red Alert and Generals cross over we don’t want!

      • Sabata
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        121 month ago

        Unless the Russians violently purge there elites, a new dictator will take the seat before the corpse is cold. He may even hold a sham election to “legitimize” himself as the best person to sand next to a window with.

      • @Valmond
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        101 month ago

        True. Another possibility is that the economy (and infrastructure gotten their maintenance money stolen for 20 years and starts to crumble) goes down with a skyrocketing inflation going to the moon killing the ruble, and who knows what happens when you can’t pay your army any more …

        Interesting times for russia.

        • @[email protected]
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          30 days ago

          Oh, so China expands to fill that void and hands out a portion to Kim Jong Ug before repainting things?

          • lad
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            21 month ago

            Take it with a grain of salt, as I am not an expert, but it looks like China would prefer an ‘independent’ country that is ruled by Chinese government in secret. That way they don’t need to fix and repair all the shit, and can only spend bare minimum of effort needed to keep slaves citizens alive

            • @[email protected]
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              130 days ago

              Oh, so Russia & N.K. already, then? Let’s not even start with Iran, et al. 👀🤌🏼

          • @Valmond
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            11 month ago

            I doubt the USA would let them do that freely, but it’s an interesting take.

              • @Valmond
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                229 days ago

                Sure, who knows. It’d be a full mess though.

    • @Maggoty
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      31 month ago

      Russia is Game of Thrones in real life. I wouldn’t bet on positive change there.

    • @[email protected]
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      21 month ago

      This just piles up on the reasons Russia needs to be denuclearisased, putin getting ousted, democracy installed and so on.

      Indeed and same goes for israel or USA. Every nation involved in shady actions should be denucleariased and its politician held account for their crimes.

  • @[email protected]
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    441 month ago

    “in an apparent suicide, putin critic ________ shot himself in the back 20 times. more at 11”

    • @beebarfbadger
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      51 month ago

      “Fell out of window.”

      “He was on the ground floor.”

      “Fell out of window and face-planted twenty-six times.”

    • @[email protected]
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      130 days ago

      Colonel Vadim Boyko 2022

      Shot himself 5 times in the chest. Russia not even trying to hide it

      • RubberDuck
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        129 days ago

        Yeah, it’s an interesting list.

  • @[email protected]
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    1 month ago

    So many people fall from their windows or balconies in Russia that I am surprised they are still legal

    • @Red_October
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      221 month ago

      Someone pushed for a new law outlawing them, but the efforts ended after he accidentally fell off a balcony to his death.

    • @sunbytes
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      151 month ago

      It’s to make the point that they were murdered. It’s a fear tactic with plausible deniability.

    • @voldage
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      81 month ago

      Comrade Putin thanks you for your contribution, we will do as you suggest and make people illegal.

    • @Dasus
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      61 month ago

      Mandatory murder-windows.

    • @[email protected]
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      This is what happens when you loosen up regulations. Bunch of really shoddy sub-par balconies. They practically throw you off them.

      You just know that once Trump takes office, a bunch of balconies are just gonna become death traps. Particularly balconies owned by Mexicans, Democrats, members of the “fake news”, and transgender people.

      This cisgender male Republican-owned balconies will still be safe. Miraculously.

      • @beebarfbadger
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        41 month ago

        Turns out Epstein didn’t commit suicide after all: He just fell out of his notoriously unsecured cell window on the basement floor while the cameras were off.

  • @WrenFeathers
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    301 month ago

    How long before windows make it to the statistics of average deaths per-year in Russia?

    • @finitebanjo
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      71 month ago

      I honestly wonder if the Kremlin figured the ratio of trained military personnel to dissidents needed to keep pushing people out of buildings.