The toilet in my apartment has such a small diameter on the seat that sitting on it requires anyone with a penis to contort it like some kind of sausage-yoga-master as they’re plopping down into position, or you WILL drag the tip against the edge of the seat (or even the inner edge of the bowl if you’re really careless).

Sitting is for shitting. …and even then I’m tempted to just squat.

If you’ve got one of the larger, oval shaped thrones, don’t take it for granted!

If I’m at home I always sit, like a king.

Plus the zero cleanup is a huge bonus.

If I’m pissing in the dark, it means I just got out of bed. I’m not cheating on my bed with the toilet. You might say, “But sitting on your toilet isn’t cheating on your bed” or “WTF do you do in your bed?!”, I’m not hear to judge your lifestyle, you do you, but my bed and I have an arrangement, I’m going for a pee, no sitting.

But then I can’t piss outside the bowl!

You say that and yet…