If not, then what about rarely instead of never?

  • throw4w4y5@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    106
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    2 years ago

    I can guarantee that if you drank pure petroleum and ate quicklime then you would spend the rest of your life without worrying about farts.

  • snailwizard
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    79
    ·
    2 years ago

    In short, no. To explain: you have a bunch of beneficial bacteria living inside your digestive tract. These little guys help you digest your food, and in return they get a free meal. This basically means that the food you eat ferments into poo. Fermentation always results in gas being released (think how the plastic wrap on a bowl of dough can puff up as it proves.) So to sum it up, unless you drank a strict water-only diet, anything you eat can give you gas. (Even then, you would probably still naturally swallow some air with the water, and some would make it to the other end as a fart.)

  • yesman
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    65
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 years ago

    Neat fact: Late in WWII, Germany deployed a rocket fighter. This rocket could climb to 12K in a three minuets. Consequently, the pilots had to eat a special low fiber diet to prevent gas because the change in pressure caused severe intestinal distress.

    Of course that was the least of the pilot’s problems. The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.

    • AncillaryJusticeOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      2 years ago

      This is precisely the answer I was looking for, though I didn’t know it when I asked. Thank you!

    • expatriado
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      2 years ago

      could climb to 12K in a three minuets

      a traditional minuet is ~4 minutes long, assuming meters, that would be roughly 2400 Km/h average speed

    • Burninator05
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 years ago

      The Me163 was so crazy dangerous it made OceanGate look as safe as the Bank of England.

      You’re just saying that because part of the fuel mixture would burst into flames when it came into contact with pretty much anything organic and had to he kept in aluminum containers because it would eat its way out of anything else.

      And don’t forget that the other part of the fuel mixture would also burst into flames when it came on contact with pretty much anything organic and had to be kept in glass containers because it would eat through aluminum.

    • faintwhenfree@lemmus.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      2 years ago

      The thing is my family boils our own beans, and I’ve noticed everytime I eat canned ones, I fart a lot more, so something about those processed beans.

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        If you get access to one of them electric pressure cookers, instead of having to soak them overnight they can be done in an hour

        Also they come out real soft

        • thehappyteacup
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 years ago

          You mean you just straight pressure cook beans dried from the pack in an hour? Does it also work for giant beans? Got any recommendations on these electric pressure cookers?

          • elscallr
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            edit-2
            2 years ago

            Instant Pot or Ninja Foodi. My preference is the Foodi because it’s also a really good air fryer and I only got so much counter space. But the Instant Pot is cheaper.

            If you can get one of the older Instant Pot Duos opt for that, they started using cheaper materials in the latest models.

          • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            2 years ago

            I mean it’s probably closer to an hour an a half with warm up and cooling time, but it’s 45 minutes of cooking, yeah you’ve got the idea. Throw in a little salt because I can’t remember why I read it somewhere.

    • SpaceNoodle
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      40
      ·
      2 years ago

      I’d rather fart and be happy than smell nice in misery.

      • ickplant
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 years ago

        If you really wanted the best of both worlds, you could get those underwear inserts that hide the smell.

          • ickplant
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            7
            ·
            2 years ago

            They even have a blanket for similar purposes (fart concealment) and it’s called “the marriage blanket.” Cause farts ruin your marriage, allegedly. Haven’t ruined mine, but what do I know.

        • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          2 years ago

          There’s this mineral you can eat called bismuth subgallate that works as an internal deodorant. It’s sold under the brand name devrom. Haven’t tried it, but heard good things.

          • ickplant
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            2 years ago

            Things I learn on Lemmy, for real. “It’s like Febreeze but for your insides.”

              • ickplant
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                2 years ago

                That would be genius marketing right there. I already ordered some online. Can’t wait to smell my own farts.

                • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  2 years ago

                  The only reason I haven’t bought some is because I’m poor. Hey devrom guys I just got you a sale. Send me some.

      • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@midwest.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        2 years ago

        Farts don’t have to smell bad. This is something you can change with diet. In particular, avoiding animal products will help. But if you go completely vegan, then your sweat will smell weird, so it’s a trade-off.

    • AttackBunny@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      2 years ago

      I REALLY wish FODMAP worked for me. I hear everyone raving about it, but may of the “safe” foods aren’t safe for me, even in their tiny amounts, and non safe foods are fine. sigh

        • iesou@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          2 years ago

          Fun tidbit. My kid, the first time they realized they farted ran up to me in scared confusion and confessed to me that they burped out of their butt. After learning everyone does and they did before but didn’t remember life was ok again

        • SoleInvictus
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          2 years ago

          Haha, yes, but I rarely burp, again due to GI issues. If I chew gum, I fart. Otherwise, I’ll go days without any.

  • markovianparallax
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 years ago

    Stop eating anything with high fructose corn syrup. I promise it works.

  • irkli
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    arrow-down
    12
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    deleted by creator

    • golden_calf
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      30
      ·
      2 years ago

      This is like the opposite of what they asked though. They didn’t ask for healthy, they asked for less farting. Lots of vegetables will make lots of farting.

      • irkli
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        11
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        deleted by creator

        • Dettweiler
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          2 years ago

          Increased fiber intake induces more farting. Beans, beans, the magical fruit…

    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 years ago

      This. When I used to work a very physical job (2.5k+ Cal per day min) I never had flatulence. My diet was also better, but I ate a ton. Like so much food, but I guess that’s what happens when you burn more calories in a day then most people do existing. I do not miss that job, I do miss my old body. It would be impossible to get that amount of exercise naturally.

  • Evil_incarnate@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    2 years ago

    If you hold on for a few minutes, it will be absorbed by the colon and go into your bloodstream. Then it will be released into the atmosphere through your skin. Soundlessly and smellessly.

  • girltwink
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 years ago

    My gf almost never farts. She’s given me a complex about it, i stg. She says she trained herself not to by sheer willpower, and in spite of living together for almost 2 years, I’ve only caught her like twice.