The price of eggs is too high to be cracking them this recklessly.
Dysphoria doesn’t feel like dysphoria if you’ve expierenced it your entire life. Instead it just feels normal.
If you’re thinking about transitioning, don’t be deterred if you don’t feel actively distressed by your current apparent gender. Dysphoria can be crippling for some, and subtle for others.
It wasn’t until I started HRT that I learned what it really felt like to feel fine. Only then did I realize how not fine I was before.
See also:
I don’t want to transition, but I’d be happy if I woke up as [gender]
Damn you don’t have to hit me like that.
Yep! Realizing thoughts like those were actually dysphoria is big part of what cracked my egg
I think it’s more like gender euphoria being a different gender than gender dysphoria being the current gender.
If you’re fine with your current gender, I don’t think you necessarily qualify for gender dysphoria, which is why I think being trans is more about gender euphoria than gender dysphoria.
Until this comment, I had no idea that dysphoria was an antonym for euphoria. Yet it makes sense.
Does it count as dysphoria if I’m ashamed of being a guy after reading some of the garbage posted by other men in the internet?
Well, for what it’s worth, I’ve always felt closer and identified to girls, girl characters and behavior stereotypes identified as female by the broad public not out of active adhesion to them but rather than absolute rejection of men.
I long pondered then possibility of seeking transition, and to a certain extent still am, but ended up more or less getting to terms that my sex is “male” and my gender is “traitor”
Being an active traitor to my group (and not a “good” man) is, I suppose the best I can do. Not as a feminist ally but as an enemy of masculinity.
It may sound dumb, but that’s where I belong right now.
What does an enemy of masculinity mean? You cheer when the women on The View say we don’t need men and they are useless?
What feminists do is what feminists do.
Ain’t got nothing to do with me. My job is to not protect aggressors, to ridicule overt display of classic masculinity and to debunk any attempt from my fellow men to act like the “good guy” because they read a comic about feminism.
Oh, and support M/M sexual assault survivors. That also is part of my job.
Ain’t much, but it’s honest work.
Good on you! Just out of curiosity, how often do you run into aggressors IRL? I too would call out bad behavior but I’m relatively introverted so I often wonder where everyone is running into assholes and what context. Could you share an anecdote or two?
I work in univs… My god the sheer number of : -Sexual misconduct -Misogyny against foreign female students (prohibited hijab in courses which is illegal in my country) -Scientific fraud with a very sexist overtone (gimme your results for free or I’ll break your career) I’ve seen…
I also have a weird personal background that I happily share when I suspect something. More than often, it allows people to talk about thing they may or may not share in certain situations.
@[email protected] but to be honest, more often than not, there’s nothing to do because the victim has too much to lose and asks that her story is kept a secret, which you need to respect. But nothing prevents one, in this case, to advise the coming generation of who they should avoid being in a room alone with. And in a few (rare) cases, collective action led to some of the most dangerous ones being fired.
Oof. That must be infuriating. Apparently ADHD ppl like myself can have increased justice sensitivity. I can’t let shit go. I got fired last year for standing against workplace toxicity and for employees rights. Litigation in progress. If I’m wrong, I want a court to tell me that.
In my opinion it is a good way to start the „Am I actually male, or is it just what everyone told me?” thought. I am not Saying that you cant identify as non cis because you are ashamed about what Nazis (Let’s just call them what they are) make out males to be. But if you actually really 100% (I can’t stress this enough, if you just have a faintest afterthought, just don’t block it with the „I am a male” argument) identify yourself as male, you should not choose a gender you are less comfortable with because there are some bad people there. Bad people are everywhere. Alice weidel and the Braune Lappen are woman too. People who gatekeep being non cis are non cis too. So just identify as the gender you feel best with.
Good point. I am comfortable with my gender, but sometimes my mind goes to a darker place. Thanks for the words of encouragement, I feel I needed them.
Wow that’s so true. I am cis and there is no way such a thought would cross my mind, it didn’t even when I had a years long identity crisis because I didn’t know yet how to connect with myself. And everyone I know about, regardless gender, has to contemplate for nanoseconds before a confident “no”. Downplaying the significance of when someone feels differently, even if it’s “light” or “neutral”, is ignorant and cruel. And I don’t even mean ignorant of a small minority, thinking about your own experience is sufficient to get the point.
It’s actually really validating for you to say that, thank you! For so long I thought that every guy was secretly disappointed that they hadn’t been born a girl
I think part of why trans folks end up with this misconception is that there are a bunch of cishet guys who’d happily be a girl for a day. But it’s usually for sexual reasons only (I get to touch boobs!) and they definitely want to change back at the end. Whereas I was always fine with the concept of “being changed into a girl indefinitely” but it was usually as a thing outside my control, so I didn’t have to consider wanting it.
I’m a woman but I’ve had this discussion with many guys and it’s honestly a universal experience. I’ve discussed it so much because as soon as you think about for a second you realize it it’s not a very intuitive and straightforward fact, it’s honestly a wonder so many people are so confident about the gender they were born with.
Can’t imagine how difficult your journey must be, sending you sincere warm wishes.
Oh absolutely, how lonely I felt having undiagnosed ADHD for 30+ years. I never knew why I felt so misunderstood until I realized what was making me different from everyone else. The past 4 years post diagnosis has been revelation after revelation as I recontextualize my entire life.
I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone.
What about “I don’t feel like any gender because the concept is senseless to me, but also I’m male and I look like a guy so I identify as that”
Seriously, am I a closeted non-binary?
Maybe! You’re the only one who can say what your gender is. If you are interested in exploring that more though, doing more reading about the experiences of non-binary people never hurts. At a minimum, you end up with a better appreciation for the breadth of the human experience
What if I feel that way, but only because of societal factors. And I don’t want periods and all the harassment.
And thats why im non binary.
I would really love for look more female, and if I has I would absolutely take estrogen for that, but I have no Problem with being adressed with male pronouns
