cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/26072485

Not a day goes by without a blow administered by Donald Trump to the terrible Wokist-Sorororist octopus! The White House leader today signed the decree officially switching the United States to the Cyrillic alphabet, ending the dark age of Latin script on America’s sunny Gulf coasts.

“You know who uses Latin letters? Mexicans and Colombians, who bring us drugs. Why use a crackhead alphabet when there’s a great one, absolutely wow, invented by two monks. The monks aren’t druggies, they’re not Mexicans, they don’t eat dogs. That’s it. From now on, anyone who writes in Latin eats cats. Canadians. You’re effectively the last Canadians,” Trump said, alluding to his earlier war against Mexicans who eat dogs and cats after marinating them overnight in a drug-laced, super-proven and verified drug bath.

Russian President Vladimir Putin welcomed Trump’s upright gesture and sent him a gift of a set of colored pencils produced at the famous “Pobeda” stationery factory in Pasholnahuisk.

  • @[email protected]
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    183 days ago

    I know this is false because it would probably also require them to use SI units. We know that’s never going to happen.

    • @givesomefucks
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      63 days ago

      US federal law to make the switch to Metric was decades ago…

      It’s just they never I cluded language for when states have to change.

      That’s why the federal interstate markers say KMs along with MIs.

      Not sure what the loophole is for still putting only miles on exit signs, but technically the US has been metric for a very long time.

      Oddly enough, it was a Republican (Ford specifically) who it happened under.

      • @bitchkat
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        43 days ago

        We were progressing pretty well and then we elected Reagan.

        • @givesomefucks
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          12 days ago

          At the time the party split because a majority of the party thought Jimmy Carter was moving too far right and they were worried where it would lead…

          And by some weird trick of history, Carter is know widely remembered as the last great progressive Dem…

          The Overton window moving right has been a huge problem for a very very long time.

        • @mkwt
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          33 days ago

          Only on a short stretch from Nogales to Tucson.

        • @bitchkat
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          23 days ago

          Most signs were dual marked back in late 70s, tv weather reported in both etc. Now all we get is pop and drugs.

  • Justas🇱🇹
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    82 days ago

    Russian President Vladimir Putin welcomed Trump’s upright gesture and sent him a gift of a set of colored pencils produced at the famous “Pobeda” stationery factory in Pasholnahuisk.

    “Pashol Nahui” means to “go on a dick”. A small detail you might have missed.

  • @[email protected]
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    3 days ago

    Файнали, уи дон’т хев ту уори абаут спелинг энимор, иц ол ритан хау иц рэд.

  • @[email protected]
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    3 days ago

    Перехожу на кириллицу, чтобы владеть либертардами. Буквам плевать на твои чувства, снежинка
    Сwитчинг то Цыриллиц то оwн тхе либтардс. Леттерс доньт царе абоут ыоур феелингс, сноwфлаке

    • @Glitterbomb
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      103 days ago

      Ам сояяу тчат уоц тчоцбчт ше шеяе цсфиб тче агрчаьет сояяестгу. Ше аяеит тнат смаят

      • @Sprinks
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        3 days ago

        My favorite detail about this post is the cyrillic writing used for Trump, Трамп, spells out Tramp in the thumbnail. (Learning Ukrainian, not fluent but feel comfortable with cyrillic alphabet)

        • 2xsaiko
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          43 days ago

          That’s actually how it’s generally spelled in order to be a phonetically close transliteration of the name. The <а> in Трамп is pronounced /a/, which is closest to the /ʌ/ in Trump.

    • 2xsaiko
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      2 days ago

      Хахаха, владеть либертардами. Очень смешной видеть фразу переведена на другой язык)

      Может государство США Трампа разработать 1-ю подходящую кириллическую ортографию для английский язык, где все другие не удались? Заплачу им 10 руб

  • @frunch
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    63 days ago

    I thought this was legit at first, lol!

    Goes to show how ridiculous shit has gotten

  • Hellfire103
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    32 days ago

    Натинг эбаут зе ЮСА сюрпрайзес ми энимор.