• @zAkk
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    1241 year ago

    We are in a climate emergency that must be drastically dealt with immediately.

    • @Fried_out_Kombi
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      1 year ago

      I might even go so far as plant a few policies in their heads. “We are in a climate emergency, and we should address it immediately with policies such as carbon tax-and-dividend, ending subsidies for harmful industries such as fossil fuels and industrial agriculture, investing in both established and promising renewable energy sources such as solar and wind and tidal and geothermal, reducing our dependence on cars with more electrified public transport and denser urban design, and encouraging better urban land use patterns with land value taxes.” One sentence = one thought, right?

      Knowing humans, if we didn’t use this magical power to guide them to good solutions, a good number of us would conclude, “That’s it, we need to nuke China and India to save the Earth!”

      • @[email protected]
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        51 year ago

        I’m not sure that just putting the message in their heads would make them actually do it. I feel like the (American) right wing party would just start campaigning with “The commie liberals are using Jewish space lasers to plant their eco hoax in our brains! We must vote the out before they use it to turn your children trans!!!”

  • @[email protected]
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    641 year ago

    I’d go with “Hey, it’s God. I actually AM real, but I’m heading out. You guys are on your own from now on, no more afterlife or anything. So be good to each other! Alright, I’m out. (oh, and just some advice? you might want to get ahead of this climate change thing)”

      • @[email protected]
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        31 year ago

        Yeah, I was hoping the wording of my message would make people give up religious malarkey, but you’re probably right. Even being told “don’t use religion to be a jerk” wouldn’t stop people from doing it.

        • @lrabbt
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          11 year ago

          tbf, I can’t think of a better message myself

    • DMmeYourNudes
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      51 year ago

      This would cause a global epidemic of suicides and unrest. When billions of people lose their faith, the don’t take it very lightly.

      • @[email protected]
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        1 year ago

        Yeaaaah, it’s not a perfect plan…

        EDIT: Not to mention, I’d be a little worried about what all those “without the Bible, there’s nothing to stop atheists from raping and murdering everyone!” people would do.

        Also, if I died and found out religion WAS correct and there was a god, wheeeew doggies I’ll bet I’d be in trouble.

  • @MothBookkeeper
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    481 year ago

    “MothBookkeeper is the dictator of the world, and I completely trust his decisions.”

    Nevermind the logistics of that; power lives where people believe it does.

    Then I could make multiple beneficial changes, such as:

    • Heavily taxing the rich
    • Enacting drastic climate policy
    • Banning paper stickers that rip as you try to take them off
    • Sending Mitch McConnell on a rocket into the sun
    • @[email protected]
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      111 year ago

      Considering our names start similar and that you going to do something about stickers that rip off, I give you my support

    • @Etterra
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      21 year ago

      The Florida and Texas Governors have to fight to the death on a platform suspended by a stationary helicopter a mile over cocaine shark infested waters, and the pilot bailed out 20 minutes ago. Trump is the referee.

    • @[email protected]
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      301 year ago

      Problem with that is that many people are being dicks while thinking that they are not being dicks.

    • @[email protected]
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      71 year ago

      Used to have this as the only rule for my Discord server, and it obviously wasn’t clear enough for people to get.

    • @foggy
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      131 year ago

      Can you imagine the amazing headlines.

      “City Agrees Spirit Spoke To Them; Was A Goose”

  • @AndreyAsimowOP
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    251 year ago

    Everyone! I am Son Goku and I need your energy to defeat Majin Buu!

    • @[email protected]
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      101 year ago

      Lol as a kid me and my sister raised our hands to the ceiling to give goku our chi in solidarity, while watching tv.

      I’m pretty sure if I hear this in my head, today, as an adult, I’d do it again. No questions asked

  • @[email protected]
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    251 year ago

    “The purpose of your life is to make others happy”

    Put that in the head of all the ‘players’.

    • @Rachelhazideas
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      61 year ago

      That statement really fucked me up as a child. I thought I was responsible for my mother’s happiness and panicked when she told me that the only reason she hasn’t committed suicide is to take care of me.

      • @[email protected]
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        1 year ago

        Ahh, but if I die of starvation, I can’t very well make people happy, now can I? Assuming everyone followed the thought’s direction, the way to best make people happy is for me to live a healthy and long life, probably. (Of course, it’d be up to each individual to determine how to best make other people happy. Maybe I would decide that my contribution to climate change was causing unhappiness, so I would end my life.)

        • @[email protected]
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          11 year ago

          When you only live to make others happy, you disregard your needs by putting others first. That ends affecting your well being. Your whole personality turns into service and you are easily exploited and abused.

          • @[email protected]
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            01 year ago

            “the purpose of your life is to make others happy”

            No one said anything about only. My purpose is to build new things. I eat, sleep, and interact with others in an attempt to put myself in my best condition - this is no different.

            Ignoring self-maintenance is against any purpose but sacrifice

    • @davidgro
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      111 year ago

      The circumstances might ‘prove’ to a lot of people that there is

      • Piecemakers
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        11 year ago

        Bahahahaha! True enough! 🤣😬🤦🏼‍♂️

    • @[email protected]
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      11 year ago

      What do you mean by “God”?

      I mean, you gotta ask.

      A guy eats psychedelic mushrooms and sees something. Calls it God.

      A guy reads a story about God. Totally different understanding there.

      Same word, different meanings.

  • Zeusbottom
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    201 year ago

    Give them all a vision of the Earth from space. Look at that, all ya sonsa bitches.

    “You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch.’”

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut, People magazine, 8 April 1974.

  • @assassinatedbyCIA
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    181 year ago

    The irresistible urge to consume at least one billionaire. They would think that if they don’t eat a billionaire they would die. Hilarity would ensue.

    • Square Singer
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      41 year ago

      Doesn’t have to be a billionaire. Anyone worth more than 5 millions is ok as well.

      • @[email protected]
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        121 year ago

        That’s a bit low. 5 million is low enough that it could still be made through the fruits of their own labour if they’re in a high paying industry. Would probably have to be $50M+ before you get exclusively the capitalist class.

        • @[email protected]
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          1 year ago

          Nah, gotta set the bar a bit higher. Maybe net worth of 1b+.

          And the thought should be that you feel like you would die if they aren’t eaten.

    • @Etterra
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      11 year ago

      “Eating billionaires is the secret to eternal youth, life, and health.”

  • Prethoryn Overmind
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    151 year ago

    The Earth is dying and it can live on without us once we are dead.

    • @AndreyAsimowOP
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      11 year ago

      Do you mean only if we are dead? Or just casual rate of death?

        • @ramble81
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          41 year ago

          Thank you… I hate all the people who are “we’ll permanently destroy the earth and it’ll never recover!” crowd. Maybe for us it’ll be too inhospitable and we won’t survive, but nature is surprisingly resilient. From bacteria that can eat oil and plastic, to entire generations of flora and fauna living in irradiated landscapes, it will adapt and be here long after we’re gone.

          • @[email protected]
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            21 year ago

            Yes. Ecosystems as we know them will be decimated, but whatever survives will repopulate. Worse has happened before in Earth’s history.

    • @Etterra
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      11 year ago

      I’ve been saying for a while that if I could, I’d increase baseline human empathy by 50% or enough to raise its minimum value to current baseline if they have less than 50% of baseline to start with, all up to a maximum of triple baseline levels. Enough to make the world a much better place, but not enough to make millions of people mentally ill or otherwise do more harm than good.

      I’d consider anyone suffering negative side effects to be acceptable casualties.