Gov. Spencer Cox has asked Utahns, again, to join him in a "Day of Prayer and Fasting for Rain" as nearly all of Utah experiences drought conditions.
  • OutlierBlue@lemmy.cadeleted by creatorEnglish
    53·
    1 year ago

    The all-knowing, all-powerful god who created the entire universe has decided to hold back rain in your state. But maybe if you beg him hard enough and skip lunch he’ll change his mind.

    This is what these half-wits actually believe.

  • estutweh@aussie.zoneEnglish
    50·
    1 year ago

    I’ll share this post to raise awareness, and send my thoughts and prayers. I’ve done my part. Should be fixed now.

    • athairmorEnglish
      7·
      1 year ago

      I skipped breakfast. I guess they should get at least a brief shower.

    • EvilFonzyEnglish
      6·
      1 year ago

      Honestly, if they’re still whining about their dryness at this point, with all the thoughts and prayers we’ve sent, it’s just greedy.

  • mapmyhikedeleted by creatorEnglish
    501·
    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

    • RhynoplazMEnglish
      18·
      1 year ago

      As nonsensical as that sentence sounds, it’s pretty much the only thing this country has done consistently for over 250 years.

  • zibEnglish
    26·
    1 year ago

    If that doesn’t work, I hear ritual sacrifice is pretty effective.

  • barneypiccolo@lemm.eeEnglish
    211·
    1 year ago

    Here in Florida, a group of four southern women on a girls weekend were huddling under a beach hut during a thunderstorm, and got hit by lightning. All were knocked out, but otherwise only mildly injured. After, one of them was interviewed, and thanked God for saving them.

    Thanked God? Honey, getting hit by lightning is God’s preferred method of smiting those he dislikes. He tried to KILL YOU, why are you thanking him?

    These ladies need to do some serious self-reflection in order to determine what they are doing to anger God so much. I suspect voting MAGA is part of it.

  • CouncilOfFriends@slrpnk.netEnglish
    17·
    1 year ago

    What’s the use of being god if every run-down schmuck with a two dollar prayer book can come along and fuck up your plan?

    - George Carlin

    • FuglyDuckEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      You get to smite the schmuck?

      One thing I learned from video games is that the worlds need to have target dummies. you know. to test your damage and, uh, stuff.

    • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      3·
      1 year ago

      Nah, he’s already in Cancun for the season

      My bad. I misread that, and thought you were talking about that greasy fuckstain.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    3·
    1 year ago

    Hey mormons: pray to that shiester that conned a bunch of people who pretended that a messianic jew from two-thousand years ago actually lived halfway around the world from Jerusalem. You’re perfectly rational and your prayers can bring rain. /s

    I know that my comment is stretching the headline. They aren’t praying to Joseph Smith. I don’t care. Leave me alone. Mormons are fucking stupid. Religious people are fucking stupid.