• terwn43lp
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    2 days ago

    in 2002, buy 100 btc, live comfortably as a millionaire in the present. don’t have to sweep floors for nazi nasa

    • adarza@piefed.ca
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      2 days ago

      you’d be waiting several years. bitcoin wasn’t “invented” until '08. but you’re on the right track. by '09, you could have got 100btc for lunch money. sold today it would give you more than enough to live on.

      • Anivia@feddit.org
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        1 day ago

        If you started mining on the day the network launched you could have had thousands of bitcoins without even buying any. Mining difficulty was really low before FPGA miners (and later ASIC miners) were created

        • adarza@piefed.ca
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          1 day ago

          too much work. may 21, 2010. just be the guy that buys some hungry guy a couple pizzas. you’d have 10k btc for like $25 worth of pizza.

      • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today
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        2 days ago

        Yep… Bitcoin didn’t really take off until 2010. I had a buddy who was an early adopter and had mined/bought hundreds of thousands of coins at one point. Spent it all on the silk road, he always used to say it was just a way to turn electricity into drugs.

    • BillyClark@piefed.social
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      2 days ago

      You could travel back to 2009 and impersonate Satoshi Nakamoto. There are already conspiracy theories that Nakamoto is a time traveler because he did what a time traveler might do. He anonymously created Bitcoin, and then he disappeared. He has tens of billions of dollars of bitcoin sitting there unused. Or maybe it’s just waiting until he gets back to his time.

    • uberfreeza
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      2 days ago

      They would have access to chemicals to make dangerous mixtures…

  • LasherzM
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    2 days ago

    Space x existed for 2 years before Musk bought it. He just provides money that was stolen from market manipulation or PayPal when it desperately wanted him gone.

  • DontRedditMyLemmy
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    2 days ago

    I’m convinced Elon did access a time machine, travel back, and set this shitty timeline in motion.

    • WoodScientist
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      Shit. Maybe that’s what completes the time loop! Musk is a bootstrap paradox. He’s going to spend a trillion dollars building a time machine. He knows how to build a time machine because his future self told him how to build a time machine. Nowhere in this time loop dusk Musk ever actually discover the science of how to do this. He’s just passing a pdf of detailed blueprints around. It’s like something Arthur C. Clarke would pen, except incredibly stupid.

  • Katana314
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    2 days ago

    “For helping our space company reach the stars, I will be granting you, dear janitor, a $1mil bonus and a generous stock option!” said Nolon Moosk, the complete polar opposite of popular Nazi Elon Musk.

    • infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net
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      1 day ago

      I actually yearn for a transnational workers cooperative space company that collects startup capital from crowdsourcing and fundraising.

      Would probably have to host the physical operations somewhere in the global south, as the big authoritarian nations would likely be a bit hostile to the idea of making any domestically-developed cutting edge orbital rocket engine technology FOSS.

      • WoodScientist
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        And that’s what’s tragic about SpaceX. It built real technical wizardry on the backs of some of the most talented minds of a generation. Yet, what will the funds from this IPO be used for? To fund the company’s operations for years to come? No. It will be used to fund shitty AI development and to pay off the money Musk borrowed to buy Twitter.

      • plyth@feddit.org
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        I actually yearn for a transnational workers cooperative space company

        Give people an opportunity to support you and to join.

    • Dagnet
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      2 days ago

      Same. As a janitor I could maybe murder Elon without anyone knowing

      • CaptPretentious
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        2 days ago

        I mean if you got a time machine there’s much easier way to do it.

        He was likely conceived in October of 1970. Just cock block his parents problem solved. Or just find his dad at any point and just kick him really fucking hard in the nutts, cuz he’s a piece of shit.

        • Dagnet
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          2 days ago

          Well, in theory if you want to reduce unforeseen changes in the future you want to make changes as late as possible. Also, murdering him after he is a billionaire/trillionare would send a message.

  • cattywampus
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    2 days ago

    I think people are unaware of how deep the troll hole goes.

        • PhoenixDog
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          You act as if there are people who live in the actual reality that is being parodied.

          LOL it’s just a joke guys, this guy this posts satire! Meanwhile there are legitimately people out there who would unironically say they’d scrub Musk’s toilets for a handshake and a lottery to sniff his ass.

  • ZeroGravitas@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    FFS. If time travel was a thing, buyingNetflix, Amazon or Apple shares in 2002 would see you retired on an island beach this year. Depending on the sum invested, the beach could even be on your own island.

        • applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          if you’re going to indulge in a fantasy at least make it fun. go to the far future where we have luxury space communism and everyone gets to have as many dicks as they want and live rent free in their own private space station. way less work and you can live secure in the knowledge that everyone has it just as good as you do, so no one will come and try to steal it.

    • TBi
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      Then in 2026 you wonder why you never heard of Epsteins island. And then you take a closer look at the island you purchased…

      • _stranger_
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        St James? That place disappeared in an accidental nuclear explosion caused by a rogue stealth bomber crash landing there with an armed nuke. They said it was a tragedy, something like 20 world leaders and several billionaires where there for some kind of conference.

    • pipi1234
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      Some people would try to change the world for the better if given a time machine.

      You would only make yourself wealthy.

      Do you even realise how egocentric you are?

      Please try to develop some empathy.

      We don’t need more hollow soulless people like Elon Musk.

      Be better.

      • ZeroGravitas@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        Relax mate. You misread the assignment. OP would wash toilets for SpaceX equity, I just pointed out there’s a better means to that end.

    • lemongarlic
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      Yeah I think the joke is that he’s trying to get rich off the SpaceX IPO in 25 years. Not a huge Musk fan but the joke is funny

        • MinnesotaGoddam
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          So for some reason I keep trying to write out a comment about how the janitors at the schools I went to (and also the janitors I’ve met at the schools my wife teaches and has taught at), like aside from just being the coolest adults on campus they are all metalheads (if you live where I live and love music, you get into metal. It’s disrespectful to the town’s history to have any emotion towards metal less intense and/or less positive than love) and people I still think of as good role models. They knew everyone on campus by name and would use humor to defuse and deescalate conflicts (not just between students, also between staff and faculty) which are both something I’ve always wished I could do (I suck at names and I’m only moderately funny).

          For some reason I don’t understand, the comments I’ve attempted involve Flaming Steve, which is the name Steve’s boyfriend gave to character Steve pretends to be when he sees homophobia. Sometimes in order to beat Crazy, you have to out-crazy Crazy. Steve got that. He’s dude I admire and look up to. He’s not a janitor though so I don’t know why I keep thinking of him while writing this comment. Maybe he has the same energy as those cool janitors we have, I am going to figure this out when I get a second for navelgazing.

      • jj4211
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        2 days ago

        Yeah, but it is still pretty stupid.

        Why dream about a scenario that would not pay off for 25 years? So many other companies would be getting you rich quicker, or you would just get a lottery ticket. Or get some Bitcoin in 2010, or Nvidia stock in 2018, or any number of scenarios.

        • lemongarlic
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          Because it’s a meme about the present SpaceX IPO and not serious financial advice? I’m pretty sure the best financial option unironically would be to put it all into bitcoin in 2013

  • Burninator05
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    2 days ago

    Bold of you to assume custodial work isn’t contacted and thus none of them are considered employees.

  • jordanlund
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    2 days ago

    Me with a time machine:

    “Groucho? Get the guys together and come with me, I’m buyin’.”

  • Janx@piefed.social
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    2 days ago

    If you have a time machine, you can invest in Microsoft for pennies and end up with more money than Warren Buffett without doing any work.

    I thought the implication was the guy was going to assassinate a global threat when it was most convenient, and before they destroyed hundreds of thousands of lives with their illegal cuts to vital government programs. But at least we’re all now paying less for vital necessities, right…?