A Florida woman is facing felony charges for allegedly posing online as a homeschooler to sexually assault an underage boy.

22-year-old Alyssa Ann Zinger was arrested in Tampa on Nov. 24 and taken to jail; she faces two counts of lewd or lascivious battery and five counts of lewd or lascivious molestation. The police do not believe this was an isolated incident.

“It is disturbing and unsettling to see an adult take advantage of a child and prey on them,” Chief Lee Bercaw said in a statement. “Anyone who may have been a victim of Zinger’s, we encourage you to come forward. The Tampa Police Department will support you and ensure a predator like Zinger doesn’t cause you or others additional harm.”

Police say they were tipped off that Zinger allegedly had a relationship with a child between the ages of 12 and 15, and that following an investigation, they learned that she “communicated with the victim primarily through an online social media platform.”

  • @TheBananaKing
    link
    101
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    That’s the second time in about a month I’ve seen it described as sexual assault / molestation / predation when it’s a woman doing it.

    Usually news outlets bend over backwards to call it a ‘relationship’ or a ‘romp’ or otherwise put a positive spin on it.

    Colour me impressed.

    • @jettrscga
      link
      English
      267 months ago

      Police say they were tipped off that Zinger allegedly had a relationship with a child between the ages of 12 and 15…

      • Franklin
        link
        47 months ago

        Every time one of these articles comes up we have the same discussion.

        I understand it’s a sensitive subject for some but the reasoning to avoid calling it rape when you’re a publication is pretty solid.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        46 months ago

        While that’s definitely what happened often the legal definition of “rape” in a state explicitly requires penetration with a penis. So a lot of things that a normal person would consider rape are classed as sexual assault and have to be reported as such in the media.

        The Department of Justice redefined rape a decade ago. The revised definition includes penetration with any object. I think it would be fine to call an act rape if it meets the federal definition of rape, but does not meet the state definition.

        A man who receives oral sex without his consent or is made to penetrate without his consent would still not qualify as rape under the revised definition however.

    • Ann Archy
      link
      147 months ago

      If you call everything rape, the word loses all meaning. Obviously there is a difference between violent physical sexual assault and sending nudes to someone, and ages and context matters.

      You are not being “brave” by pretending that the world is 100% black or white, and it’s getting ridiculous with this echo chamber where everybody is competing over who hates rape the most, it’s fucking childish, talk about the least controversial opinion one could possibly have.

      Like wow, are you against pedophilia too? That is SO very bold of you!

      • XIIIesq
        link
        26 months ago

        Upvote this reply if you hate cancer!

        (If you do not upvote you will have bad luck for seven years!)

        • @Hiro8811
          link
          16 months ago

          Too lazy to read it all so it’s all on you

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            English
            6
            edit-2
            6 months ago

            I think there’s been a rape up there!

            David Brent - The Office (S01E01)


            If they catch us, they will rape us!

            Dwight Schrute - The Office US (S05E03)


            I could rape him… I’m not going to rape him

            Jeremy - Peep Show (S03E03)


            Jeremy: Mark’s a little bit down in the dumps. He’s been raped.

            Mark: I have not been raped. a woman just continued to have sex with me after i said “no”.

            Super Hans: sounds like rape to me, mark, classic case.

            Mark: She didn’t put anything up my bum.

            Super Hans: No-one said it was bum rape, mark.

            Peep Show (S05E04)


            Roger the Alien: This is getting ridiculous. You want me to walk you home again?

            Jeff Fischer: [pushes him away] It didn’t help last time!

            [Jeff leaves]

            Roger the Alien: Jeez, just trying to help the kid out.

            [Jeff slams the door, Roger stretches and cracks his knuckles]

            Roger the Alien: I’m gonna rape him this time.

            American Dad! (S08E05)


            RAPE! RAPE! RAAPE! This white boys got his hands all over my beautiful brown baahday

            Dee Reynolds - It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (S08E02)


            Hedley Lamarr : Qualifications?

            Applicant : Rape, murder, arson, and rape.

            Hedley Lamarr : You said rape twice.

            Applicant : I like rape.

            Blazing Saddles (1979)


            Captain Red: [Holds down girl] Frog, boy!

            Frog: What, captain?

            Captain: Rrrrrape!

            Pirates (1986)


            Emma Watson: [Holding an axe] Back the f*** up!

            James Franco: I’m not gonna shoot Emma Watson!

            Emma Watson: Give me everything you have to drink!

            Seth Rogen: There are six of us! You cannot rob us!

            Emma Watson: [waving an axe] I’m NOT f***ing around!

            [Emma leaves]

            Danny McBride: Hermione just stole all of our sht. And Jay suggested that we rape her. I think the only reason he did that is because he knows he’s about two minutes away from becoming the house btch himself.

            This is the End (2013)


            Kevin: Hey Creed! Check this out! Ninjutsu lessons! No one’s raping me!

            Creed: Oh I don’t want to get raped! 120 dollars.

            Kevin: No! That was my idea to not be raped!

            The Office US (S08E22)

            • XIIIesq
              link
              56 months ago

              You have exceeded the requirement. Well played.

      • @jpreston2005
        link
        -46 months ago

        wtf kind of point are you trying to make? Are you trying to defend this adult raping a minor?

          • @jpreston2005
            link
            06 months ago

            take a good hard look in the mirror and turn away from whatever the fuck makes you think rape is ok. get a therapist, tell someone about these feelings, and never touch anyone under the age of 20.

            • @pete_the_cat
              link
              English
              06 months ago

              You clearly don’t understand what statutory rape is. If a 16 year old and an 18 year old have consensual sex the younger person’s parents can claim SR even though there wasn’t any force or coercion involved.

              Educate yourself before you freak out over something you don’t understand.

              • @jpreston2005
                link
                16 months ago

                12-15 with a 22 year old. dude, seriously. go fuck yourself. you disgusting, rape apologist fuck.

      • Alien Nathan Edward
        link
        fedilink
        English
        56 months ago

        This is a third party claiming “rape” aka Statutory Rape.

        statutory what again?

        there’s a huge difference between forceful, painful, traumatizing rape

        if you’re under the impression that so-called “consensual” sex with a child doesn’t traumatize that child then you’re unsalvageable.

      • @jpreston2005
        link
        26 months ago

        you’re wrong. the victim was age 12-15, while she was 22. Minors cannot consent, it is rape. period. not statutory, not friendly, not “omg romeo and juliet”, it’s rape. Capital R capital Ape.

        You incel clown fuck head.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    457 months ago

    Thank you, florida woman.

    Florida man has been dominating the eccentric-wild news segment but I see you have stepped up for the cause.

  • Flying Squid
    link
    337 months ago

    I already don’t understand pedophilia, but I especially have a hard time wrapping my head around a person in their early 20s that’s into grooming and sexually assaulting people who are not that much younger than them to begin with.

    • @zeppo
      link
      English
      377 months ago

      For the same reason it’s illegal… while there might not be a huge difference in age between someone 22 and 14, there’s a vast difference in maturity, experience and vulnerability to manipulation. While I’m not a psychologist, it seems like for some people, it’s based on opportunity (easier to manipulate a younger person) and others it’s based on a psychological impairment regarding their own sexual development. For this lady perhaps it’s a combo.

      • Flying Squid
        link
        177 months ago

        I’m not trying to quarrel with the legality at all. There is no question in my mind that it deserves to be illegal. I just can’t wrap my head around the psychology of this. This wasn’t opportunity, this took effort.

        • @zeppo
          link
          English
          127 months ago

          I didn’t think you were questioning the illegality. I agree; you’d think it would be easier for her to find someone her age. Except for what I was saying earlier… some people go for minors because they can manipulate them more easily. And then, if she’s warped in the way that she’s particularly attracted to younger people, that explains why she’d seek one out.

          • Flying Squid
            link
            67 months ago

            The manipulation part does make sense to me. I just find the whole thing hard to keep in my head I guess.

            • @QHC
              link
              117 months ago

              It’s not a bad thing that you have a hard time empathizing with pedophiles, in case that helps.

              • @[email protected]
                link
                fedilink
                17 months ago

                Weird I was just having a similar conversation with my daughter yesterday - not about pedophiles specifically, but the more general topic of adults hurting children- she had heard about the case several years ago of a guy randomly grabbing and throwing a 5 year old off a 3rd story walkway at a mall, and was trying to understand why someone would do such a thing…

            • @Aceticon
              link
              3
              edit-2
              7 months ago

              IMHO, it’s pretty hard for people who find no joy in having power over others (maybe because they perceive power over others as a massive responsability rather than as a consequence free ego-boost) to understand the mindset of those who derive massive personal pleasure from having such power.

              Personally the way I manage to intellectually understand it (or at least think I understand it) is to imagine how it is having zero Empathy, hence not caring at all for the impact on others of one’s action if said others cannot hurt you back if you hurt them. If one has such a mindset ,the power over others is never felt as a weight or a responsability, it is just a tool to at will make other provide you with some direct or indirect form of personal enjoyement - sexual pleasure being a pretty standard direct one, money being a pretty standard indirect one - hence it’s logical that a person like this would seek power over those others who can fullfill their wants and which cannot or will not reciprocate if and when they hurt them.

              This explains not just this situation but, for example, things like people in management positions exploiting their power for personal pleasure or simply for personal upside maximization.

              Of course even somebody with just a bit of empathy cannot “get” at an emotional level such a behaviour because for them hurting others means them feeling the hurt they caused to others, hence they would feel guilt (an highy unpleasant feeling) so they refrain from acting so. That said, when “normal” people find ways to isolate themselves from said empathy (rage, anonimity, prejudiced, etc) they’re still capable of horrible things exactly because no empathy = no guilt.

              Anyways, that’s my theory!

        • @TheBananaKing
          link
          67 months ago

          It’s about power. It’s always about power.

          Power over the victim, and the power to transgress.

          If they can manipulate people and get away with heinous shit, in their mind they must have rich-person energy.

        • Tony N
          link
          fedilink
          47 months ago

          Just spitballing here, but a young attractive woman like her probably gets a lot of unwanted attention from men who have sought to control her. Maybe she wanted someone who didn’t pose a threat. Still illegal, and she still needs to go to jail. It doesn’t matter what turns one into a predator.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      297 months ago

      I did time in prison for growing mushrooms and had the unfortunate privilege of living with pedophiles for two years.

      I’m sure some don’t give a fuck. But I know a few who are basically children mentally due to trauma or mental disability. They believe children are sexual beings and basically project their attraction to kids, onto kids.

      In other words, they justify their actions by believing children want to have sex and take innocent things like an affectionate kiss on the cheek, as flirting.

      • Flying Squid
        link
        10
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        It all just sounds so alien to me. It’s just such a way of thinking so wholly different from anything I ever think that I have trouble even comprehending it.

        Thankfully, I was never preyed upon as a child myself so I’ve only heard accounts from others who had been, but I’m sure it’s hard for a lot of victims to wrap their heads around it too. I would probably spend the rest of my life trying to understand the mind of someone who did that to me. Not as some form of forgiveness, more of a probably hopeless search for a deeper motive even if it was purely a crime of opportunity.

        Ugh. The world is so horrible.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          77 months ago

          Someone close to me was raped the first 5 years of his life by a relative, and has been in therapy (very successfully) ever since. When someone that young experiences ongoing trauma like that, it fucks all the developmental areas in life including the reward/feel good parts of the brain. There are things that the brain becomes wired for that can’t be undone, but with effective treatment can be managed.

          Under the best circumstances recovery is incredibly hard, without therapy and proper support it’s not surprising someone could go off the rails like this. Not saying that this predator was abused because I don’t know, but it’s statistically likely.

    • @Drivebyhaiku
      link
      29
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      From what I understand for some it’s just the tools they have at their disposal to get affection or sex in a very low effort or ego flattering way. To a teen, having a car, a place where there’s no parents calling the shots and any kind of income is a huge and enviable power gap. The person’s experience with other relationships means that they don’t tend to go all in on the younger partner either the way a person experiencing love for the first time does. So you have someone who remembers that all consuming need to hold onto that first sacred relationship enough to mechanically exploit it so they can either shift all the work onto their younger partner and keep them on the back foot by threatening to end things or push their younger partner to do exactly what they want because to them the relationship is just one of a potential many. That disposition towards relationship fungibility means you have solid leverage.

      Youngsters also don’t have any real experience with autonomy. A kid is used to being told what to do and accepting inequity in power balances as normal. Rebelling in the face of adult authority structures also means there’s a lack of seeing adults as peers to whom they can seek advice and benefit and trust their experience and more as just unfair weilders of social power that need be avoided so to transgress means you ditch the social structures that are the most able to spot the red flags.

      • @voracitude
        link
        47 months ago

        Shit, this comment deserves to be Best Of’d. An incredible breakdown of the exact problem with this kind of abuse, and absolutely destroys the “hurr teenage boy horny tho” idiots.

        • @Drivebyhaiku
          link
          4
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          Why thank you! I had some acquaintances and friends who fell victim to these power dynamics and I noticed often it seemed to stem from them essentially being used to thinking of adults only really in terms of authority and obstacle… but my folks were awesome and always treated us as “adults in training” where our concerns were valued and our circumstances negotiable. We could argue our points and expect that if they were good, well thought through points that passed all the safety concerns our parents would conceed. It made us view parents, teachers, older friends and relatives and so on as essentially just our more experienced peers…and we were very VERY aware of the advantages we had when navigating sketchy shit.

          I did get to see this dynamic play out in real time to disastrous effect with people I knew. I realized my home circumstances were unusual and sometimes my parents ended up basically becoming friends with my friends who I think benefited as well by an adult just treating them as another adult who was non-judgemental about the hazards they encountered. There are people from my highschool days who still show up to my parent’s place at Christmas. It’s made me regard myself as a bit of a self case study as to what happens when at all ages you are treated as a being who is worthy of and expected to practice mutual respect.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      97 months ago

      There’s a huge difference between 12 and 22. The power imbalance means there can’t be meaningful consent.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        27 months ago

        Well yeah, not to mention a 12 year old is just starting the whole birds and the bees aspect of their life and probably doesn’t even have the concept of consent on their radar, let alone what an adult coming at them like that even means.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    267 months ago

    The Tampa Bay Times reports that police stopped Zinger and a minor after they tried to steal from a Nordstrom store over the summer. “Zinger identified herself to an officer using her name, but stated she was born in 2009. The officer could not find information on her with the date of birth she provided, but found an Alyssa Ann Zinger who was born in 2001,” the article said.

    Not at all the brightest bulb there.

      • @Jerkface
        link
        77 months ago

        THAT’S the golden rule? My kindergarten teacher played me for a fool!

      • @son_named_bort
        link
        16 months ago

        I thought the golden rule was he who makes the gold commits the crime.

    • @Additional_Prune
      link
      27 months ago

      Yeah, my brother got arrested and tossed in jail for providing a fake name. The cops checked. They do that.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        47 months ago

        Well for me it’s not that she provided her real name, as much as she was stealing with a minor to get questioned to begin with, and then provided a fake birthdate with the real name, which automatically made it more suspicious and weird than it already was.

  • @Red_October
    link
    177 months ago

    The part that really confuses me is… wtf is a Homeschooler? Obviously this isn’t a parent teaching their own child in a homeschool setting. Context makes it sound like they advertise as someone who will come teach a child who is being homeschooled… but isn’t that just, you know, a teacher? Who the fuck is going to all the bother of homeschooling their kid, presumably specifically to keep them from going to a regular school, only to then hire some fucking rando off the internet to do it for them and providing even less accountability and background certainty than even a public school?

    • @NucleusAdumbens
      link
      257 months ago

      I assumed they meant she posed as a kid who is home schooled

      • @MayvisDelacour
        link
        87 months ago

        Yeah I did too, it tracks since she gave her birth year as 2009 to cops when caught stealing from a store, when investigated she was actually born in 2001. On a side note, God damn people born in the 2000s are becoming adults? When did I get so old? Make it stop!

        • Echo Dot
          link
          fedilink
          87 months ago

          1977 is a far away from the 2000s as the 2000s are from now, which is both super obvious and somehow surprising.

    • Echo Dot
      link
      fedilink
      12
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      Actually my godmother does this so I know a bit about it.

      It does sound sort of confusing at first but there’s more than one reason to homeschool someone usually it’s done if the kid requires special handling.

      Useful for when they’re even massively ahead or massively behind other children. It can be helpful in both cases for them not to actually have to be in a class with other kids and that way the lesson can go at whatever pace they’re comfortable with whether that’s accelerated or slowed down.

      Or sometimes they have a medical issue that makes going outside difficult or dangerous.

      Although I have no idea how it would work in this context since she apparently volunteered her services to children who were the wise wouldn’t be to make use of it.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        147 months ago

        Another pretty common reason is religious or personal concerns about the school system. I was homeschooled all the way through highschool because my mom was afraid I’d learn gay people exist if I went to real school.

        • @BreadstickNinja
          link
          English
          77 months ago

          Begging the question - when did you learn that gay people exist?

          • @dandu3
            link
            17 months ago

            When he turned out gay lmao

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        57 months ago

        Sometimes it’s religious. My daughter was due to start kindergarten at the tail end of COVID lockdowns, so my wife and I were looking at options that didn’t involve her sitting in a room with 20+ kids… There are people that will homeschool small groups of kids, like 5 or so, and the public school system will pay them per kid so there’s no out of pocket cost to the parents. We interviewed with one family, and it was looking like it might be worth doing, they were obviously religious, but not obviously nutjobs, and I’m ok with my kids seeing that religion is out there as long as it’s not being forced on them… But then the mom said those magic words, evolution is “just one theory” and I couldn’t get past that. We ended up enrolling her in an online kindergarten.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      77 months ago

      Homeschool parents are often mad as a bag of cats.

      They certainly would hire some rando based on a chat about Jesus rather than checking actual qualifications.

    • Krzd
      link
      16 months ago

      Homeschooling parents are straight up mad. I remember seeing a post about someone’s parents getting together with other parents to form some sort of ‘homeschooling association’ where they hired definitively-not-teachers to teach a bunch of their kids…

    • @SendMePhotos
      link
      307 months ago

      OH MAN THAT’D BE SO HAWT WHY COULDN’T THAT BE MEEEEE

      • sharpiemarker
        link
        fedilink
        107 months ago

        It’s 50/50 people who wish it was them and people who only hate her because she’s a woman and wouldn’t say a thing if a man had done the same thing. But damn her being attractive, young, and feeeeemale

        I’m all for holding people accountable based on their crimes and not their gender.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        16 months ago

        Kinda dudes who are so starved for any show of even platonic affection that they think fuckin’ Yuno Gasai is relationship goals.

        “At least I’d know she likes me!”

    • @endhits
      link
      07 months ago

      Are the incels in the room with us now?

      • PorkRoll
        link
        46 months ago

        [ouija board moves to spell out a racial slur]

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    87 months ago

    Good! Women who sexually assault men or young men or boys or girls, should be held just as accountable as men.

    I had to explain to my gf, I ask everytime I go down on you. When you go down on me you assume it’s a yes and never ask.

    Men value consent too! And underage boys are not mature enough to consent to having sex with an adult!

    • @Eheran
      link
      107 months ago

      If you are partners that is silly. There is no need to ask for permission for everything as if the other is some random person. You both know each other etc. and should you not like it, can speak up. Everything else would be really odd in a partnership.

      • subignition
        link
        fedilink
        237 months ago

        If they are partners they should be collaborating to set the standards they find reasonable/comfortable and beyond that it’s nobody else’s business.

      • @voracitude
        link
        67 months ago

        Hey man, if they want their partner to check with them, you have no right to tell them they don’t have a right to it. I personally would have a massive problem with my wife just taking my cock in her mouth without asking. I’m intact, and if it’s before my shower or after a long day there is probably smegma under my foreskin. I do NOT want the woman I love to be getting that in her mouth. It’s disgusting and makes me feel gross.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        16 months ago

        Might not be a need for it but it definitely gets some folks hot and bothered when you’re pushing on the boundaries of what you both know you’re comfortable with, plus if it doesn’t work, having asked permission first tends to just lead to a bit of giggling before shifting to something else instead of it being a total mood killer.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          26 months ago

          For my money, “would you mind awfully if I administered a spot of cunnilingus” is the bigger mood killer.

          (The money phrase is just rhetoric, I’d never pay for it… again)

      • @totallynotarobot
        link
        -17 months ago

        How does this person’s sex life affect you in any way, and which part of their comment was asking for your condescending opinion?

        • @voracitude
          link
          37 months ago

          Whoever is downvoting you for this are short-sighted and selfish idiots. You’re 100% correct: the rules two adults consent to are none of anyone’s business but those adults, and everyone has a right to set their own boundaries.

          • @SheeEttin
            link
            English
            07 months ago

            Right, but if you bring it up in a discussion forum, expect people to discuss it.

            • @voracitude
              link
              17 months ago

              Discussion is fine, telling someone their boundaries are “silly” because you personally don’t agree with them is not. It’s condescending, rude, presumptive, and judgemental.

              But these are things you’re clearly okay with so you do you boo 🤡

              • @Eheran
                link
                16 months ago

                They can do whatever they want. Expecting others to do it too is the silly thing. Partners know each other super well. Not knowing or even ignoring boundaries would be the issue there. Not them being unknown.

                • @voracitude
                  link
                  16 months ago

                  I’m not sure exactly what you’re trying to say, but everyone should respect their partner’s set boundaries. Respect is part of love so everyone should want to do that for their partner anyway, but respecting someone’s set boundaries no matter who they are is not up for discussion. “No” means “no”.

                  These rules can be and are different for everyone. The only rule that applies to everyone is that everyone gets to set these rules for themselves. I hope that clears things up.

  • @oldbaldgrumpy
    link
    77 months ago

    The verbage they use to describe the molestation of a child when the victimizer is female is disgusting. This bitch was a devious, calculated child predator. Her acts should not be white washed because she’s a female. Pathetic.

  • @oDDmON
    link
    57 months ago

    According to a search warrant obtained by the Tampa Bay Times, that platform was Snapchat.

    Figured one of the image based platforms.

    The warrant detailed additional information about at least one relationship that allegedly spanned from May through September. Zinger allegedly sent explicit material to the minor and “engaged in sexual activities several times” with him.

    I don’t get the mindset that leads to these kinds of actions.

    • Flying Squid
      link
      57 months ago

      Figured one of the image based platforms.

      It is image-based, but it can be used entirely as an instant messaging platform too. My daughter basically never takes pictures with the app, but she chats with all of her friends on it. That is apparently the 13-year-old messaging app of choice, at least around here. From what I can tell second-hand, it’s becoming the same mess of features no one asked for and enshittification in the attempt to turn itself into an everything app that every other social media platform suffers from.

      • @Zahille7
        link
        27 months ago

        There was one pint a few years ago Snapchat wanted to develop glasses that would take pictures and post them directly to your story.

          • @Zahille7
            link
            37 months ago

            I think the first generation looks “okay,” but I hate the blocky version 4. All-in-all, it’s not a terrible concept.

            • Flying Squid
              link
              07 months ago

              Version 4 looks like the embarrassing things my dad used to put over his glasses when he drove rather than buying clip-on sunglasses like every other person who wears glasses does.

              • @Zahille7
                link
                27 months ago

                My grandpa has a pair of those as his normal sunglasses.

                He didn’t even wear glasses all the time, only for reading!

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    26 months ago

    Should we have an age minimum on being an educational professional? It always seems to be the early 20s fresh outta teaching degree teachers that are mostly responsible for these cases. That teachers with waaaaay too much time spent on job duties that put them in direct interaction with students.

    • Franzia
      link
      fedilink
      56 months ago

      I had a wonderful educational experience with my younger teachers, even had one under 30. I think if we paid teachers more we could also encourage more competition and hold them to higher standards, leading to less tolerance of bad behaviors. Some amount of bad behaviors is gonna turn out to be abuse.

  • Alien Nathan Edward
    link
    fedilink
    English
    16 months ago

    22-year-old Alyssa Ann Zinger

    If only there was some sort of…idk…witticism or maybe clever turn of phrase I could deploy here