I generally agree with you, but I think if you’re going into the first date with notes you need to really be interested. The pre first date stage is about seeing if you’re interested enough to spend the time/money on it. Too high standards can absolutely be a problem leading to loneliness, but “I’m not sure if I’m interested, but yeah sure I’ll give it a shot” is a common place to be before a first date because both sides are awkwardly trying to put their best foot forward, but don’t have much to go on and they don’t necessarily know if they have much chemistry. If you go in no longer interested you’re wasting your time because you’re probably not going to change your mind.

So yeah if she had been super excited, it’s silly to cancel over this. Likewise if her dating pool is small or filled with particularly bad options. But if she was just giving it a shot and lost her interest then I don’t blame her.