So to be clear, not being above board and consensual about it is the problem.
I am poly; I’m going to visit one of my partners right now; she is married, and both she and her husband (whom I have met) date and have relationships outside of their marriage, and they are in a happy and rewarding relationship between themselves as well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that. But communication and openness is absolutely crucial - otherwise it’s just cheating, not ENM.
But, with all that said, fuck Scam Altman, because he’s a trash human in general, and has done incalculable damage to our society, along with our other vaunted Captains of Industry.
Is it survivorship bias that I hear all the weird poly shit or is it actually that fucking awkward though?
I hear weird stories about unicorns crying when they realize the people that told them they don’t love them actually show they love their partner more, people who get in a throuple then get kicked out of their living situation and end up being dumped by two people at once, people who think they’re being ethical and mature then have their emotions destroyed because they’re not as mature as they hoped.
Does it ever actually work on average or is it usually a fucking mess like it sounds
My ex is in an open relationship and has been for ages. The impression I get is that you only hear about the failures and successes are kept mostly quiet or at least within a small social bubble.
It’s not awkward if your brain is wired well for it. Specifically: I realized I just… don’t get jealous, really. Like, ever. And I’m happy when my partner is having a wonderful time, regardless of whether I’m there. The main point for me in a partnership is that we enrich each others lives. Pretty much everything else beyond that, I consider flexible and negotiable.
Yeah. I care deeply for people and the physical piece is a tiny part of that. I have never tried a poly relationship because nobody I have been with was interested, but in casual relationships I never minded my partner having other things going on, as long as it didn’t end up closing me out emotionally.
I don’t know, but you hear all the same stuff with monogamous relationships (although usually not getting dumped by two people at once). I don’t know if it’s any worse.
It’s not any worse, in my opinion. People are people, with the same foibles on the path to individuation, regardless of which path it is they take.
But if you’ve believed for a long time that only one path makes sense, it is easy to find focus on the uncertainties when examining a different path.
I’ve met plenty of non-monogamous folks of various stripes (ENM myself for the last decade of marriage) who couldn’t fathom how monogamy made any sense and had a similar list of things that boggled them, just from the other angle.
Married man infamous for his lack of ethics found on dating app, more shocking news at 6
So to be clear, not being above board and consensual about it is the problem.
I am poly; I’m going to visit one of my partners right now; she is married, and both she and her husband (whom I have met) date and have relationships outside of their marriage, and they are in a happy and rewarding relationship between themselves as well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that. But communication and openness is absolutely crucial - otherwise it’s just cheating, not ENM.
But, with all that said, fuck Scam Altman, because he’s a trash human in general, and has done incalculable damage to our society, along with our other vaunted Captains of Industry.
Best answer. I’m willing to bet that his wife doesn’t know. I refuse to give this pathetic creature the benefit of the doubt on anything.
Whoops, my bad. Thanks for the correction!
*husband, but yes, dude likely didn’t know about it.
this comment is how I learned that Sam Altman is gay.
I don’t appreciate having the same orientation as him!!I don’t appreciate him having the same orientation as me!!
Is it survivorship bias that I hear all the weird poly shit or is it actually that fucking awkward though?
I hear weird stories about unicorns crying when they realize the people that told them they don’t love them actually show they love their partner more, people who get in a throuple then get kicked out of their living situation and end up being dumped by two people at once, people who think they’re being ethical and mature then have their emotions destroyed because they’re not as mature as they hoped.
Does it ever actually work on average or is it usually a fucking mess like it sounds
My ex is in an open relationship and has been for ages. The impression I get is that you only hear about the failures and successes are kept mostly quiet or at least within a small social bubble.
It’s not awkward if your brain is wired well for it. Specifically: I realized I just… don’t get jealous, really. Like, ever. And I’m happy when my partner is having a wonderful time, regardless of whether I’m there. The main point for me in a partnership is that we enrich each others lives. Pretty much everything else beyond that, I consider flexible and negotiable.
Yeah. I care deeply for people and the physical piece is a tiny part of that. I have never tried a poly relationship because nobody I have been with was interested, but in casual relationships I never minded my partner having other things going on, as long as it didn’t end up closing me out emotionally.
I don’t know, but you hear all the same stuff with monogamous relationships (although usually not getting dumped by two people at once). I don’t know if it’s any worse.
It’s not any worse, in my opinion. People are people, with the same foibles on the path to individuation, regardless of which path it is they take.
But if you’ve believed for a long time that only one path makes sense, it is easy to find focus on the uncertainties when examining a different path.
I’ve met plenty of non-monogamous folks of various stripes (ENM myself for the last decade of marriage) who couldn’t fathom how monogamy made any sense and had a similar list of things that boggled them, just from the other angle.