• @Yaztromo
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    2317 months ago

    This is the best summary I could come up with:


    He’s fucked.


    The original article contains 275 words, the summary contains 2 words. Saved 99.99%. I’m alive!

    • Dran
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      7 months ago

      Bad human

      2/275 would be 99.38% (repeating of course) saved. Please update your human code with a math lesson module. Your humor module works just fine though.

      • fkn
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        67 months ago

        I think this makes them a good human… Since like 99% of humans are bad at math it makes sense since they would make this mistake…

        • @mPony
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          57 months ago

          I think 100.62% of us can agree with that

          • @Klear
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            27 months ago

            Yeah, and fuck the remaining -1.62%

    • @ikidd
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      7 months ago

      Totally a humanoid-type person.

  • Optional
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    987 months ago

    “You have failed to explain, much less justify why there should be a delay”. Daaaaaaamn judge has forfeited his fucks.

    • chknbwl
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      347 months ago

      If I had to deal with the same smooth-brain at work every day while they insist to make my job more difficult for no other reason than they can, I’d lose a fuck or two along the line as well.

      • @radicalautonomy
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        77 months ago

        Average Teen I Deal With Daily: WHAT? Aw, HELL naw…I ain’t tryna get lunch detention for tardies!

        Me: Holy shit…you got lunch detention for accruing five tardis without even trying?! Phenomenal!

  • @Sanctus
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    907 months ago

    Every judge who isn’t corrupt should know what the playbook is by now and deny that shit.

    • @[email protected]
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      137 months ago

      Of all the judges this engoron guy is the only one that seems able to deal with them as you would any other scum bag. Everyone else is so busy trying to act impartial they’re paralysed by inaction.

      • @Sanctus
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        27 months ago

        Do or do not. There is no try.
        - Yoda

  • RubberDuck
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    647 months ago

    LOL, antagonizing the judge every step of the way and then asking for a favor.

    • @[email protected]
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      157 months ago

      Donald [pausing between social media posts inciting violence against the clerk]: I need a favor.

    • @CatsGoMOW
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      267 months ago

      happy Letitia James noises

    • @NotMyOldRedditName
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      27 months ago

      Sir, can you just scribble two 0s beside the 30, and initial. Thanks!

    • @KnightontheSun
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      157 months ago

      How did you get that picture from FlyingSquid???

      • @ripcord
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        7 months ago

        Only possible explanation I can come up with is that it’s an alt and he posted from the wrong account.

        There’s really no other way; I mean, squid doesn’t even have it bookmarked, how could someone else get it

  • Goku
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    227 months ago

    How does he have any money left to litigate at this point?

    • @Yawweee877h444
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      407 months ago

      IOUs written on colored construction paper with crayons. I’m guessing.

      • @irish_link
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        47 months ago

        Or written on the constitution.

        • @SpaceNoodle
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          177 months ago

          No, he already used that as toilet paper

      • @Got_Bent
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        27 months ago

        Get it right, lib.

        He only uses the finest sharpies. The best. Everybody’s saying it. Believe me.

    • @lennybird
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      257 months ago

      Last I heard he’s grifting his gullible supporters for about $100k/day, but it’s still unsustainable.

      • Jaysyn
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        7 months ago

        The NY judgement alone is $78k in interest per day until Trump pays it.

        I read the other day that Trump had about $550 million in liquid cash & he can’t touch $50M of it without other loans coming due. Loans he can’t pay & pay the judgement at the same time.

        E. Jean Carroll is about to sue him again.

      • @[email protected]
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        97 months ago

        Yeah, I imagine his non rich maga acolytes would be out of money soon, and his donors are sick of paying his legal bills. 🤔

        • @[email protected]
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          27 months ago

          There has to be some atrophy there surely.

          Like imagine you’ve been working hard all these months and donating whatever you can afford… surely there’s a non-zero number of people each week that think “you know what, there’s better ways I could spend this money”.

    • @[email protected]
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      107 months ago

      His current move is a pressure campaign to get the RNC to pay off his legal debts. Those spineless fucks might just do it.

      • @dynamojoe
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        17 months ago

        Splendid. Every dollar to Trump’s lawyers is a dollar that isn’t buying a Trump advert.

    • Blackout
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      107 months ago

      He was making Eric go back to college for a law degree but Eric went to Disneyland instead and blew the tuition on Dole whips

    • @[email protected]
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      -107 months ago

      The funny part is that he is about to get $4 billion in shares from the truth social stock, so he will be doing pretty well.

      • Spaz
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        27 months ago

        You forgot the /s

          • Spaz
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            37 months ago

            That’s not how this works, lol. If you have an uncommon evidence based opinion, provide sources.

    • @dynamojoe
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      17 months ago

      I’m wondering if the next line is “Proud Mary keep on burning” or “Carry me home to see my kin”

  • AutoTL;DRB
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    97 months ago

    This is the best summary I could come up with:


    The judge overseeing the $355 million civil fraud case has denied Donald Trump’s request to delay the judgment for a month.

    Judge Arthur Engoron told lawyers for Trump and the New York attorney general of his intentions in an email sent Thursday.

    Once the judgment is officially entered, it will start the 30-day clock for Trump to file an appeal.

    In the email, Engoron rejected Trump’s request for an additional 30 days, writing, “You have failed to explain, much less justify, any basis for a stay.”

    “The proposed judgment accurately reflects the spirit and letter of the February 16 Decision and Order,” the judge wrote.

    The judge directed the monitor to recommend a person to serve as an independent compliance director for the Trump Organization.


    The original article contains 275 words, the summary contains 118 words. Saved 57%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!