• @[email protected]
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    898 months ago

    Going from game port to USB with “plug and play” was a huge deal man. Not having to manually assign IRQ to get your audio working too lol. That said, there is still one thing that was cursed in the old days and remains cursed now: printers. Fuck printers.

    • prole
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      258 months ago

      I’m convinced that in the late 90s/early 00s, the printer companies got together to form a cartel, and have purposefully neutered all consumer-grade printers from that point forward. They knew it wasn’t profitable (unless they charge an arm and a leg for the ink, which of course they eventually did), so they decided to just not play the game at all.

      • @[email protected]
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        128 months ago

        Yes they did exactly that actually

        Iirc from a YouTube video I watch long ago they trade mark all the ink printer technology and abused it for years until we made laser printers

          • prole
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            18 months ago

            Yeah but they cost like thousands of dollars back then. Upwards of five figures for professional grade printers I believe. They were out of reach for most consumers.

    • Flying Squid
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      88 months ago

      Agreed. Assigning IRQ ports was so annoying.

      • @[email protected]
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        78 months ago

        Yea and some fucking cards only had IRQ selection jumpers for irq 5 or 7. Had a situation where I had to swap cards depending on if I wanted to use my twain scanner or play games with sound.

        • Flying Squid
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          48 months ago

          I’m glad I was never in that bind. That sounds hellish.

    • @dejected_warp_core
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      78 months ago

      I would argue that for the humble serial or parallel port printer, things just worked. Yes, the ribbon needed replacing sometimes, and the tractor feed could snag or jam. But that’s all a see-it-and-fix-it situation - zero tools required. These things took raw serial data, a straight dump of ASCII characters on the wire. Nothing to confuse and nothing to get wrong. No wacky software drivers either - just tell the software what hardware port to talk to and you’re printing. You got boring text, tabs, spaces, newlines, and zero frills.

      For whatever reason, the moment we started to emulate professional printing on a consumer budget was when things started to get hairy.

      • @AnUnusualRelic
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        108 months ago

        And you got to remove the perforated strips on the side of the paper after printing!

        Printing nowadays is so boring.

      • Phoenixz
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        38 months ago

        Nah, most of that was resolved decades ago too. The problem is greedy companies making printers who just seem to forget what printers are for

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppetM
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          18 months ago

          They’re for throwing ink expired warnings and automatically ordering you new ink on a subscription plan. Right?

    • @hactar42
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      78 months ago

      I remember studying for my first A+ cert. So much of it was dealing with IRQ assignments and conflicts.

      • @boeman
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        48 months ago

        For me, it was about learning the anatomy of the laser printer. I do remember a lot about IRQ and memory addressing, but I don’t remember it being that much of the test.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppetM
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        48 months ago

        Yes! Remember when you had to set your HDD to master or slave using jumpers? Then channel select came along and made that easier.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppetM
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        18 months ago

        I’m pretty sure that Brother is the only printer company that didn’t sign a contract with the devil.

        • @RememberTheApollo_
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          18 months ago

          Used to be Lexmark was really good, too. Simple printers that weren’t too fancy, but they worked. Guess they’re still around, but I haven’t used one since the very early ‘00s.

        • @villainy
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          18 months ago

          Still only on the laser printers though. In my experience Brother inkjets have become trash like all the rest.

          • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppetM
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            18 months ago

            Ah, I’ve only owned one of their laser printers. It’s like 13 years old and still works great. We’ve only had to replace the cartridge 2 times.

    • @renrenPDX
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      48 months ago

      And managing/freeing upper memory so you could play games in DOS like DOOM.

  • @[email protected]
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    498 months ago

    You’d plug your mouse into the serial port and your scanner into your printer port. Wild times.

    • Davel23
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      178 months ago

      I had a modem for my Atari 800 that plugged into the joystick port.

  • @[email protected]
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    438 months ago
    C:\>type autoexec.bat
    @ECHO OFF
    PROMPT $P$G
    PATH C:\DOS;C:\WINDOWS;C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM;
    SET TEMP=C:\TEMP
    REM -- HDD cache:
    SMARTDRV.EXE 2038 512
    MODE.EXE LPT1:,,P >NUL
    SHARE.EXE /F:150 /L:1500
    MOUSE.COM /Y
    DEVICE=C:\sb16\DRV\CTSB16.SYS /UNIT=0 /BLASTER=A:220 I:5 D:1
    DEVICE=C:\sb16\DRV\CTMMSYS.SYS
    CD \WINDOWS
    WIN
    

    And don’t forget to set the jumpers correctly!

    • @[email protected]
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      208 months ago

      You forgot to load EMM386 or even HIMEM.SYS! You might as well not even bothered installing that expensive 4MB SIMM stick for all the use you’re gonna get out of it.

      • @[email protected]
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        That’s done in config.sys, not autoexec autoexec.bat IIRC

        Also anyone remember that joke?

        ;fastest mouse driver available
        DEVICEHIGH=C:\DRV\CAT.SYS
        
      • @renrenPDX
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        18 months ago

        I was more a QEMM kind of guy. Also, multitasking Windows in DOS, using Deskview.

    • @[email protected]
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      Oh man the memories this brings back. I remember being sat down in front of a 386 by my dad when I was ~6 years old. I asked him how to use the mouse, he gave me an instruction manual and told me to figure it out.

      We often criticize boomer dads but they were right about this point: kids have unlimited curiosity, feed it.

      My daughter recently turned 6 years old. She saw a game called Wobbledogs and wanted to play it. I sat her in front of an old PC and told her to figure it out. She spent a few hours playing last night and narrated the entire experience to me lol. Glad she is enjoying herself. Even if this doesn’t set off a lifetime of experience in IT she will develop some problem solving skills, and if nothing else she is learning something useful as opposed to being handed a tablet.

      • Flying Squid
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        58 months ago

        Not only was I somehow given the card to upgrade my Apple IIe to 128k in the 80s when I was elementary school age, my parents trusted me to install it because they didn’t know how. And I did!

        • @[email protected]
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          28 months ago

          That could have gone so horribly wrong lol. It’s like the times my dad asked me to set jumpers for anything, I think he was more spooked than I was but he let me do it anyway. Every badly set jumper is a learning opportunity I guess lol.

    • @Blue_Morpho
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      28 months ago

      ??? The DEVICE= lines go in the config.sys file.

  • @[email protected]
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    408 months ago

    I remember having to configure the sound card within games. IRQ and DMZ settings. I had no idea what I was doing so a lot of the time I just played without sound.

    • Davel23
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      448 months ago

      DMA, direct memory access. DMZ is a networking thing.

      • RBG
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        328 months ago

        DMZ is also between North and South Korea.

        • @Fashim
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          178 months ago

          They also stand for the same thing (demilitarized zone) oddly enough.

          • @bitwaba
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            28 months ago

            Not oddly enough. Exactly as expected. DMZ in networking forwards all ports to a specific IP address behind the firewall. That address is demilitarized. It has no firewall defending it.

          • Davel23
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            28 months ago

            I’ve seen it backronymed into “data management zone” in a few places, but it will always be “demilitarized zone” to me.

      • @Klear
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        It was 5 for me, and 220 for I/O Address.

      • @pyre
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        28 months ago

        5 -1 or 7-1, who the hell uses 8

  • Lemminary
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    The modem used to echo the tormented screams from the crypts of hell every time it tried to connect. It’s ok to be confused, grandma.

      • @TexasDrunk
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        88 months ago

        I had completely forgotten about that. Thank you for that particular trip down memory lane.

    • SerotoninSwells
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      98 months ago

      The modem used to echo the tormented screams from the cripts of hell every time it tried to connect.

      And if someone picked up the landline phone it would sever the connection.

      • @Aganim
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        48 months ago

        Ha, my best friend had ISDN, so no severed connections when somebody dared placing a phone call while we were traversing the murky depths of rotten.com.

        Of course, in style of the meme, we also had the internet at home. Cable internet, which was slow enough it would actually hang up the Windows 98 network stack, taking down the entire system with it.

  • @Cosmicomical
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    348 months ago

    If you started a call with your cellphone close to a loudspeaker you could hear the connection being initiated through the speaker. Something like a tat-ara-tat sound.

    • @apemint
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      178 months ago

      It never went away.
      I can still hear incoming calls, texts, and tower pings with my headphones.

    • @[email protected]
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      88 months ago

      Oh yeah. I totally forgot about that. Why did that stop? Phones started using different frequencies or something?

        • @RememberTheApollo_
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          28 months ago

          IIRC transmission power was higher back in the day and the shielding of electronics wasn’t quite as good. So if you put your phone by a speaker the RF interference would be enough to be able to hear over the speaker.

    • @ProfessorProteus
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      78 months ago

      GTA IV uses this sound when you’re about to receive a call while driving. I remember being confused (and subsequently blown away by the attention to detail). I’m a little nostalgic for the sound so I’m glad it’s preserved in that game.

    • @renrenPDX
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      48 months ago

      some GSM phones would reboot PCs if a call came through and was situated near the PC.

    • @SzethFriendOfNimi
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      358 months ago

      Sound cards used to take up one of the few slots so they’d also have a joystick port since the people buying sound cards were often doing it for games.

      I remember buying the Sound Blaster card and “upgrading” my ram for a pretty penny so I could play wing commander.

    • @[email protected]
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      108 months ago

      Oh shit th CD drive connection! If you didn’t plug that in, Audio CDs wouldn’t have any sound.

    • @AtariDump
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      58 months ago

      Soundblaster.

      Now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time. A long time.

    • @Aceticon
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      28 months ago

      I might still have one or two of those in a box somewhere…

    • @Kethal
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      18 months ago

      Did joysticks actually use MIDI or they just use the same port? You can program so many buttons with MIDI. You could set up an entire cockpit on one device.

        • @Kethal
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          That’s nifty. If I understand this, the advantage of a joystick using game port instead of MIDI is much simpler hardware. The game port seems like a sort of ADC which means the joystick needs only very simple analog components. A midi joystick would need those same analog components, plus its own ADCs and some digital logic for midi comms. Without the need in most games for dozens of axes and buttons, the extra cost and complexity wouldn’t be worth it.

          I did find this though, if someone has midi stuff and wanted to go wild. https://github.com/c0redumb/midi2vjoy

          • @dejected_warp_core
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            A midi joystick would need those same analog components, plus its own ADCs and some digital logic for midi comms.

            That’s the gist of it, yes. Consider that the most silicon peripherals of the time had were things like shift registers in NES controllers. The rest was all switches and pots (joystick), the latter of which had to be calibrated every time you fired up a game.

            In another timeline, embracing MIDI in the 80’s and 90’s for game controllers would have been amazing. I feel like Japan would have really run wild with something like that.

            • @Kethal
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              28 months ago

              Do you know how that compares to USB today? I assume those need ADCs and some sort of digital logic, which overall is similar to midi. I assume that whatever USB is doing is much simpler though, still making midi more expensive. Maybe not though, and we’re missing out on some crazy joysticks?

              • @dejected_warp_core
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                Do you know how that compares to USB today?

                I know enough to be dangerous.

                I assume that whatever USB is doing is much simpler though, still making midi more expensive.

                Basically we live in a silicon rich world compared to back then. Your vision of putting the ADC circuits in the peripheral is exactly what’s done now with every game controller on the market. And no, USB is technically much more complicated since MIDI is just a serial data protocol whereas USB is a full-on bidirectional packet network. Yet silicon-wise, it’s kind of same-y since the guts of these devices are one or two purpose-built chips for either USB or MIDI. Heck, they even use the same number of wires!

                If you’re wondering why MIDI devices today seem expensive despite rocking a 40+ year old communication standard, its because the cost is in everything else. As far as I understand, musical instruments (and anything else in that ecosystem) need rich, repeatable, and reliable tactile input with a decent duty cycle. They often need to be roadworthy, or put up with being run hard in a studio. But also there has always been kind of a premium attached to music stuff in general. Maybe lower production numbers of devices compared to game consoles? Maybe they’re mostly professional or “prosumer” goods? I honestly never understood the big picture here.

                Also, there’s a trend of musicians going back to “control voltage” style synths, which is basically analog signal processing from the 70’s and earlier (e.g. Moog). And feature-for-feature, that stuff is even more expensive. Go figure.

                Maybe not though, and we’re missing out on some crazy joysticks?

                I mean, people have demolished Dark Souls using a Guitar Hero guitar, and also using MIDI drumkits. So there’s that. Anything’s possible with the right silicon glue in play.

      • @[email protected]
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        18 months ago

        I mean the MIDI port was where you would plug in a MIDI keyboard, which is just a fancy joypad anyways. So I guess they did use it. I don’t think it supports any other protocol.

  • @TastyWheat
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    208 months ago

    Warcraft II Human Footman: Your Sound Card Works Perfectly!

    • @Klear
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      108 months ago

      Your sound card works perfectly!
      Your sound card works perfectly!
      Your sound card works perfectly!
      Enjoying yourself?
      Your sound card works perfectly!
      Your sound card works perfectly!
      Your sound card works perfectly!
      It doesn’t get any better than this!

    • @Aganim
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      98 months ago

      That brings back memories of the most cursed sound check I can remember…

      Wing Commander III’s Captain Eisen: God I love that boy’s spunk! 🫤

      • @TastyWheat
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        28 months ago

        DOS games had the best installers. Don’t forget to insert disk 4 to continue!

      • @TastyWheat
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        18 months ago

        I remember getting the full game and seeing all the new units. A whole fleet of 9 battleships! Come at me Deathwing!

        • @Klear
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          18 months ago

          Battleships cannot shoot up tho…

          • @TastyWheat
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            18 months ago

            It’s been a few decades 😁 Dwarven Flying Machines then!

    • @DrPop
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      68 months ago

      Mines collecting dust somewhere.

      • @[email protected]
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        48 months ago

        I took the part 1 test right before they turned it into a 3 year expry certificate. Should have taken part 2 also but I have a problem with being a perfectionist and printers were never my favorite subject.

        Going to do Security+ and Network+ soon because I’m going back into IT. Not even going to entertain A+. Going to do ITF+ just because it never expires.

        • @DrPop
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          28 months ago

          I got it as part of my degree program them I ended up getting a job not in IT. Security+ was not too hard to get as well. Even though I don’t plan on getting back in I still wish I never lost my free Net+ voucher.

      • @Potatos_are_not_friends
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        28 months ago

        Mine is expiring and I get a discount if I renew it. But I won’t, since I literally used 0% of my knowledge.

    • @EdibleFriend
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      98 months ago

      Dude be cool I think she has Parkinson’s

    • @thesporkeffect
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      18 months ago

      I didn’t notice until your comment but some type of crime has been committed here. Cursed

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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        8 months ago

        Game port (specifically on a SoundBlaster32). But isn’t it also a serial port? That’s just what I’ve always referred to with any plug that was just a rectangle full of little pins and not PS/2 or USB lol

        • @grue
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          48 months ago

          No, a game port was a 15-pin connector, while serial ports were either 9- or 25-pin.

          • @[email protected]
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            38 months ago

            Sound card game ports usually doubled as MIDI interfaces, and MIDI is async serial. So they’re technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.

  • @[email protected]
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    128 months ago

    Why are you surprised? The only ADCs in you computer were on the sound card, and a joystick was just two potentiometers and a couple of push button switches.

  • @Cosmicomical
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    118 months ago

    And I also remember studying Basic on a book on the beach during summer because I didn’t have a computer yet.

    • Flying Squid
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      108 months ago

      Did you ever get a magazine like Enter where they had fairly lengthy BASIC programs in the back for you to copy down line by line?

      • GroteStreet 🦘
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        48 months ago

        Oh boy. I’ll never forget the amount of fun I had copying them by hand as a 12 year old.

        There was one with coordinates to a wireframe of a sports car and drawing it on screen. What blew my mind was the next section where we perform trigonometry magic to rotate the whole thing in 3D space with arrow keys.

      • @Cosmicomical
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        38 months ago

        Yes, but later, you know… when i actually had a computer

  • @johannesvanderwhales
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    108 months ago

    I’m just trying to block out trauma from winsock.dll and figuring out IRQ conflicts.

    • @hansl
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      78 months ago

      There was this game I wanted to play that required a lot of memory. My dad didn’t want to spend more money on the computer so I spent a few days hacking the bios, config.sys and autoexec.bat to make sure only the bare minimum was met with drivers for the sound blaster and the mouse loaded and enough RAM left for the game to load.

      Making the game play was engineering at the time.

      • @Tyfud
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        48 months ago

        Absolutely is/was. It’s how most of the engineers I know, including myself, got started with computers that led us to the career we have today in tech.

      • @CosmicTurtle
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        28 months ago

        Anyone else remember Memory Commander?

        I suspect that all this program did was push stuff to the hard drive or faked how much free RAM you had to games.

  • Zier
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    108 months ago

    Stop with the euphemisms Jessica. I told you, I’m not interested.

    • ODuffer
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      Thrustmaster?