cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/13932170

This will have been drawn from the work of Erin Reed Though its worth noting her only firm, DO NOT TRAVEL, so far, is florida. Though the rest are of course still dangerous.

  • @andros_rex
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    751 month ago

    I really wish my friends and family would understand this. This is something that I have to worry about, all of the time. It causes me constant and immense stress.

    “I would not be welcome here if they knew.” - this is what I have to be aware of, all of the time. I do volunteer work and often drive out to rural areas - stopping at gas stations where they’d leer at me if I wore a mask inside 2 years ago… - am I safe if I get pulled over?

    I’ve sat at workplace trainings and heard the things that they think about people like me - debating on if there’s a way that I can say something that won’t call attention to myself. I turn on the news or scroll through Facebook and see an endless stream of debates on whether or not I should exist.

    All I want is to inject myself with testosterone (which my insurance does not pay for). I want my drivers license to say M. I wanted, and paid for, a mastectomy. Testosterone makes me strong enough to carry folding tables for homeless shelters. It helps me turn my anger into energy. It helps me exist.

    I don’t understand why that bothers people so much. No one gave a shit ten years ago. My Pentecostal family were happy to call me their son. Trans people are just a convenient boogey man as part of a long term backlash strategy against gay and women’s rights.

    • am I safe if I get pulled over?

      Honestly, that seems a big concern for my mom about me and I’m not sure if she even thinks I’m trans. Its just things like me growing my hair out that make her worried about more less favorable treatment if I were to get pulled over. My mom is an extremely butch lesbian, so I’m sure she’s had her own experiences but she hasn’t said much along those lines.

  • @marito
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    641 month ago

    I may not be trans, but I’m brown, this helps too.

  • gregorum
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    1 month ago

    lucky, those are all the best places! ❤️

    • @puppy
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      401 month ago

      As if having good morals leads to a pleasant living environment.

      • gregorum
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        341 month ago

        as someone who is temporarily stuck in FL and moving back to NYC soon, i assure you: even if the laws were friendlier here, this place would still be a hellhole.

    • @Psythik
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      331 month ago

      As someone who lives there, I’m not. We’re an extremely purple state.

      • @gaylord_fartmaster
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        171 month ago

        Yeah, they’ll shoot you as you crawl down a hotel hallway on your hands and knees no matter who you are.

        • @Maggoty
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          61 month ago

          Yeah but that’s a problem in every state.

        • @candybrie
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          31 month ago

          As long as you’re in the good US of A.

    • @[email protected]
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      161 month ago

      Yeah, especially since I know trans teachers who are leaving the state due to the environment in public education.

      • @[email protected]
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        11 month ago

        That sucks. Teachers are one of the professions treated the worst by our society. Losing any that are qualified and aren’t bad people / bad at their job is a terrible loss.

    • @Maggoty
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      111 month ago

      I’m really proud of AZ. Nobody ever thought about us but we could feel the tide turning for years. Then in 2020 Trump got a surprise. But it wasn’t a surprise to anyone in the state.

      • @[email protected]
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        1 month ago

        AZ always struck me as “the retirement state for new agers and hippies”.

        No doubt there’s a lot of right-wing dirtbags, but I’m not surprised there’s a lot of decent people there too.

    • @afraid_of_zombies
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      1 month ago

      Especially with Jan “cosplaying as a human and totally not a reptile” Brewer still technically alive.

  • 🇰 🔵 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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    1 month ago

    Let’s be honest: Is there anything worth visiting in those missing states, anyway? Sure, Disney World is in Florida, but have you ever been to Florida? It sucks. Hot and humid as shit. Rains every single day at about 5pm. Gators and Floridians everywhere… Even the magic of Disney doesn’t outweigh all that.

    • Cethin
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      171 month ago

      Cajun food is great. Basically, southern food in general is good. You can’t get boiled peanuts up north. Besides food? Not really.

            • @[email protected]
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              31 month ago

              my buddys been to an old southern bbq restaurant a handful of times. he says its either the best bbq youve ever had or the driest shit on earth 😂 and its not even a different location

          • @[email protected]
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            1 month ago

            Well, but you have an international airport close by, a major mall, rent’s in the mail, and you can always find a parking space. Women out number the men two to one and there’s parks and zoos and… Shhh.

      • @Maggoty
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        51 month ago

        Eh Maryland, and Baltimore in particular has everything from grits to chowders. If you’re thinking about a crawfish boil/stew/gumbo, they have those too, and the superior crab version.

        • Cethin
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          11 month ago

          I agree the crab is better, but not the Cajun food. I’ve lived in Alabama and NoVA and there’s a large difference. I’ve also lived in southern VA and SC, and they’re all different. Each have benefits, but real Cajun is special.

          • @Maggoty
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            01 month ago

            Ah well we’ll have to disagree then. I grew up in Maryland and for my money the food is the best in the world.

            • Cethin
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              21 month ago

              I don’t believe that any food is the best in the world. Everywhere does something better than somewhere else. That’s what makes the world great.

      • @[email protected]
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        51 month ago

        Do you know how easy it is making boiled peanuts?

        Its literally just peanuts boiled in salty water forever

        Super easy in a slowcooker or even a regular pot

        You can have them whenever and wherever you want

        • @ZeffSyde
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          31 month ago

          Note: the above is talking about raw peanuts, which are very hard to find up north. Doing this to a bag of roasted peanuts will make you very sad.

          • @[email protected]
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            11 month ago

            Ok fair point. Raw peanuts arent too hard to find here down south. There is a farmers market grocery store by me that i can get them delivered from

            I did try it with roasted peanuts the first time and like… it technically worked but raw peanuts turn out way better

      • 🇰 🔵 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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        1 month ago

        Cant get boiled peanuts up north

        Canned or fresh? Because I can buy them canned. I wouldn’t but the option is there!

        But I do agree the food is good. Southern and Cajun both. Also Creole.

        • Cethin
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          21 month ago

          I’ve done canned. They fill a hole that I miss, but fresh is special.

    • @Bye
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      101 month ago

      Wyoming and Montana have absolutely amazing mountains. I say that as someone who lives in the third best mountains state. They have mountains as good as ours but without as many people in them.

      Alaska is simply amazing, one of the best places I’ve ever been in the summer. I can’t wait to go again.

      Otherwise nah fuck that shit

    • @force
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      1 month ago

      Atlanta has cool stuff like conventions. Savannah’s city center part is a nice place. Ohio has some really big events. I can’t think of any other reasons to go

    • @Soggy
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      51 month ago

      Parks. Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, the Everglades, that sort of thing. Some truly spectacular nature.

    • @Maggoty
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      51 month ago

      There’s Disney California.

      • @Fades
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        61 month ago

        it’s the better one given how shit FL is these days and they don’t got a Disney California Adventure Park either

    • @Phegan
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      51 month ago

      National parks in many of them.

      • @[email protected]
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        31 month ago

        Yeah, Utah has Arches, Canyonlands, Zion; Wyoming has Yellowstone and Devil’s Tower, Montana has Glacier… And I know I’m leaving out a ton. I hate Utah’s theocracy, but the landscapes are mesmerizing. Everyone should get to see those wonders without fearing a lynching.

    • @SkyezOpen
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      41 month ago

      Spent a cumulative 5 or 6 hours driving in Florida. I saw orange groves, retirement communities, trailer parks, and barren highway. THAT’S IT. Hell, I was hungry coming off the plane and decided to pick something up on the way to where I was going 90 minutes away. I did not see a single food place. That’s unheard of in civilized states.

  • @Fades
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    311 month ago

    All LGBT are safe and welcomed in Oregon and Massachusetts, my two home states in my life :)

    I love living in blue states that value people and their rights

    • @abaddon
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      91 month ago

      Unfortunately, not all of our states are safe. While the population centers are mostly ok, there are plenty of places that are not safe. I had an acquaintance (gay) describe Eastern Washington as “fine as long as I don’t act too gay”.

      • @Fades
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        11 month ago

        Yes you’re sadly absolutely right. I live in Oregon these days and the PDX area is quite nice but if you go south east, it is like you describe with eastern WA.

        Piece of shits have to have their bigoted safe-spaces i guess

  • @Buffaloaf
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    1 month ago

    It’s much more nuanced than that, different parts of some states act very differently from the rest.

    Take Colorado for example: the same state that was the first (along with Washington) to legalize recreational weed, but it’s also where Boebert came from.

    • @xenoclast
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      91 month ago

      Yeah this map would have much smaller areas. If you broke it down into safe counties or something

      • @Buffaloaf
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        81 month ago

        Idk, it would just look different. There are also trans friendly places within the omitted states (e.g. Austin, Texas)

        • @xenoclast
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          21 month ago

          I think it would prob be a population density map. Higher populations like cities tend to be better at accepting people (massively generalizing)

  • @profdc9
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    161 month ago

    People may not like the weather in Chicago, but it’s not that bad, the summers are generally pleasant, winters are tolerable if you dress appropriately, we have a nice lake nearby, four seasons, and the people here are sane, practical midwesterners. Why are people going to Arizona with decreasing available water, where the Republicans want to pass hunting migrants for sport ( https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/arizona-bill-shoot-kill-migrants-property-trespass-border-rcna141147 ) if they cross your property? Why are they going to build tens of billions of dollars of semiconductor fabs in Phoenix ( https://www.ft.com/content/d0fe3dda-7ea4-4d37-9564-71a129b9002f ) in a place with declining water? Are the tax breaks really worth it?

    • @Maggoty
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      81 month ago

      The Arizona GOP is batshit insane and they’re slowly losing their grip on the state because of it. The only reason Sinema was there to block the federal minimum wage law was because she ran a very progressive campaign. (And the state held a grudge so hard she’s not even trying for another term) Katie Hobbs is governor now and Adrian Fontes is the SoS. They aren’t going to swing back anytime soon and those insane bills are not going to make it past the governor’s veto.

      That said, just like anywhere in the west, be aware that much of the rural area is fueling that radical GOP branch. But Phoenix metro area, Tucson metro area, Flagstaff, Camp Verde, Winslow, Prescott, and Williams were fine when I live there ~5 years ago. Except Sedona. Everyone wants to go to Sedona to see the red rocks. You will be seeing them from your car in the eternal traffic jam that is Sedona. Go to the Grand Canyon instead, it’s better anyways.

    • @[email protected]
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      1 month ago

      Honestly, Chicago (and more recently, Minnesota) has been on my list as places to consider moving to. I’ve never lived in an actual “city” city before but suburban Ohio is getting real fuckin old, and the bigoted, bible-thumping MAGA types are only getting more brazen as time goes on.

      I don’t know why we, as a species, are so determined to inhabit a place that functionally should not be inhabited (Deserts). Not like we don’t have PLENTY of empty space in the USA.

  • @madnness
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    161 month ago

    Certainly as important as the green book!

    • @profdc9
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      161 month ago

      Certain cities like Chapel Hill or Durham on the piedmont are quite tolerant. But go into the coastal area and foothills and you might need to be careful.

      • @Fades
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        131 month ago

        Exactly, this is many states, like TN. Some of the southern parts of TN are insanely racist (like Polk County). Went to a halloween party in that area once when I i was in uni (will never go back to that fuckin state willingly) and I brought two black dudes who were my best buds and shit popped off pretty quick simply because black people had the nerve to show up.

        Fucking gross.

      • @Maggoty
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        51 month ago

        That can be said for many of the states on this map.

      • @camr_on
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        41 month ago

        I think Charlotte, Wilmington, Asheville, etc are likely to be fine. I think it goes for many of the states on the map too, is rural NC going to be that different from like, upstate NY or rural Virginia?

  • @xpinchx
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    I just watched a video about Utah and apparently Mormons are pretty tolerant of just about everyone and even though it’s a red state they’re pretty progressive on social issues.

    Take with a grain of salt, my source is a YouTube video.

    Edit: I was misinformed lmao

    • @[email protected]
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      461 month ago

      they’re really not, slc has a pretty progressive community but it’s in direct opposition to the mormons. they’re officially accepting of gay people, but as long as they don’t do anything gay. they aren’t ok with trans people who transition at all.

      utah also recently passed bathroom laws for all govt controlled buildings and schools and there are ones for colleges in the works.

      generally mormons will be nice and accepting if they think they can convert you, but that’s about as far as it goes

      https://www.advocate.com/religion/2018/10/08/mormon-leader-lgbtq-advocacy-comes-satan https://www.advocate.com/religion/2019/10/03/mormon-leader-gender-assigned-birth-eternal

      https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2024/01/30/utah-transgender-bathroom-ban-goes/

    • Neato
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      https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/transgender/understanding?lang=eng

      “Church leaders counsel against elective medical or surgical intervention for the purpose of attempting to transition to the opposite gender of a person’s birth sex (“sex reassignment”). Leaders advise that taking these actions will be cause for Church membership restrictions.

      Leaders also counsel against social transitioning. A social transition includes changing dress or grooming, or changing a name or pronouns, to present oneself as other than his or her birth sex. Leaders advise that those who socially transition will experience some Church membership restrictions for the duration of this transition.

      This reminds me very much of the “hate the sin, not the sinner” that never actually happened.

      https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/official-statement/same-gender-attraction

      Let us be clear: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes that ‘the experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is.

      Mormons are not at all tolerant. Just because they aren’t calling for the death of LGBT people, and are still willing to take their tithes, doesn’t make them tolerant.

      • BaldProphet
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        Mormons are not at all tolerant. Just because they aren’t calling for the death of LGBT people, and are still willing to take their tithes, doesn’t make them tolerant.

        You are conflating tolerance with approval. There’s a spectrum of attitudes one might have towards any particular group of people. Here they are with most friendly on the left and most unfriendly on the right:

        Kinship – Friendship – Approval – Tolerance – Disapproval – Distrust – Fear – Hatred

        Tolerance is the acceptance or putting up with something that one doesn’t approve of. Institutionally (and broadly among individuals) the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is tolerant of LGBT people, but it doesn’t not approve of LGBT lifestyles. It sounds like you want more than tolerance. In a pluralistic society, I don’t think that is a reasonable position to take.

        • Neato
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          In a modern society, people who discriminate against others about their gender or orientation are called bigots. I’m fine with calling LDS that.

          • BaldProphet
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            -11 month ago

            The religion’s teachings expressly prohibit discrimination on any basis. Seems to me the only bigot here is you.

            • Neato
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              21 month ago

              They very clearly say they disallow gay people from taking full part in the church. But ok, keep defending Mormons bigot.

    • ivanafterall
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      No, no, no, no, no. I moved to Utah five years ago and this is absolutely not the case and I’m not even LGBTQ. A couple of vignettes:

      Exhibit A.

      Exhibit B: I had a workplace procure a costume for me. They didn’t like my lack of Mormon Jesus. This was a prominent finance firm in SLC.

    • @aidan
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      91 month ago

      I too watched that Half as Interesting/Wendover productions video, that’s not what it said. In fact he explicitly said that’s not what he’s saying.

      • @xpinchx
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        31 month ago

        To be fair I watched it at a taco bell on my lunch break

    • @[email protected]
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      81 month ago

      Yea this may be the case for some mormons, maybe, but they as a whole are not very tolerant at all. We had a mormon in our school who was very vocal about his dislike about a couple where one was trans. He pretended to be a nice guy, but his views were gross when they came bubbling to the surface.

      I dont buy that mormons are a tolerant group for a second.

    • @[email protected]
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      1 month ago

      You got gaslit

      https://www.thetrevorproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/The-Trevor-Project-2022-National-Survey-on-LGBTQ-Youth-Mental-Health-by-State-Utah.pdf

      Utah teen lgbtqia+ suicide rate is very high. I’ve got a friend who is a therapist out there and i do not envy them. The Mormon church tries to say that they love and accept everyone but if you push them they will clarify they can love someone but they hate the sin. Ask yourself, how can you love someone when you can’t accept a fundamental part of them? If you practice your gayness/etc you will be treated differently by Mormon church standards. You will lose out on church privileges and be ostracized.

      • @ZeffSyde
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        21 month ago

        I saw the same video, thanks for the correction before I started spreading this false fact.

    • @[email protected]
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      Mormons tend to be nice … to your face. As soon as you leave they’re likely to act like you’d expect followers of an extremely socially conservative, regressive, patriarchal religion would.

      And I’m not saying all Mormons are like that – there are good people that are mormons, but it’s in spite of what the church teaches about gender, sexuality, and sin.

    • @cosmicrookie
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      61 month ago

      Christianity is all about being tolerant actually. Its just that most Christians dont care

    • @afraid_of_zombies
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      41 month ago

      There is a reason why I don’t mention that I am an atheist when I travel to Utah.

      • @xpinchx
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        41 month ago

        Yeah that’s it lol.

  • @[email protected]
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    101 month ago

    Can somebody give me a better explanation of how NH keeps ending up red on these maps? As a trans person who’s lived in both NH and VT for very large parts of my life, I’ve found that they’re really, really similar when it comes to trans rights. Hell, NH is one of the few states to cover laser hair removal and electrolysis for facial hair under medicaid for trans people. Vermont doesn’t even cover that and has repeatedly shot down any attempts to add it.
    Also even though both states cover breast augmentation for trans people, Vermont refuses to cover it for me because I have a deformity and require a slightly different procedure which they go out of their way to explicitly exclude, whereas in NH that procedure is explicitly also covered.

    I’m assuming there’s something deeper and more sinister going on in NH if it’s red even despite that. I wouldn’t doubt it tbh. I can’t move back there because they intentionally illegally shut off people’s disability benefits hoping they just won’t bother to appeal the decision, so I’m not blind to how awful the state can be.

  • @ZeffSyde
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    Apparently, Utah can be added to this. Though they vote overwhelmingly Republican they are surprisingly supportive of lgbtq rights , at least according to a video I saw yesterday.

    I think it was called Why is Utah Weird? I think Bobbybroccoli did it.

    Anyone from Utah with a different experience, please correct me so I don’t spread any more disinformation.

    Edit: Just read down about 30 comments and apparently I was gaslit by a YouTube video. Whoduhthunk?

    • @Drivebyhaiku
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      61 month ago

      Yeah no… They have bathroom bills that require you to have appropriate sex change documents. It’s one of the spots bathroom gestapo check your papers. Also trans care for youth has been banned and 4 anti trans bills have passed in the 1st quarter of 2024…Utah ain’t safe gov’ner.

    • @Deuces
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      41 month ago

      The video was well researched and overall a very good description of life in salt lake, less so in other counties like st George. As he said in the video 80% of the population resides in “the valley”, and he didn’t really concern himself with the rest of the state. I also wouldn’t choose to live in Provo or Spanish Fork as a queer person despite them being in the valley, but I wouldn’t consider them dangerous or actively hide it there.

    • @paultimate14
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      1 month ago

      That would have been from the channel ~~Half as Interesting for anyone… Interested. ~~ Wendover Productions. My bad - Half as Interesting is front he same people, but shorter-form content.