• @Aeri
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    1298 months ago

    Why is this a news story and not a call to a tow truck company?

    • @glimse
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      828 months ago

      This is a blog post, not a news story. The real question is: Why is this a blog post and not giant penises drawn on every piece of metal with stainless steel blackener gel?

        • @VelvetStorm
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          198 months ago

          Cool, put a mask on and put your hood up on a hoodie with sunglasses on. You can get this done in under a minute and away you go.

          • @[email protected]
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            78 months ago

            Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love living in SF, but the police hardly give a shit about property crime so you probably wouldn’t even need the mask.

            • Diplomjodler
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              178 months ago

              They probably give a shit when it happens to rich people.

              • @lath
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                18 months ago

                Only when they’re donors.

    • @SpaceNoodle
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      208 months ago

      SF parking enforcement would have to get involved.

      • @IphtashuFitz
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        198 months ago

        If this was Boston then parking enforcement would descend on it almost immediately.

        • @SpaceNoodle
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          98 months ago

          I like that traffic is no-nonsense in Boston. You sit at that light for more than half a second, everyone is honking at your distracted ass. SF or Seattle, morons will just sit there with their thumbs up their asses.

  • @Gorram_Reavers
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    508 months ago

    In a case like this I’d normally advocate for kicking in a door but if that isn’t your thing just splash some water on it and watch it rust

    • livus
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      138 months ago

      Few squirts from a water bottle filled with salt water.

      • @cmbabul
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        78 months ago

        These pieces of shit wouldn’t last a week on the gulf coast

  • @SloppyPuppy
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    438 months ago

    Well, just spray some water on it for a week

    • littleblue✨
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      98 months ago

      Pretty sure if someone(s) simply spit on it, the sad sack’d rust. A civic duty, some might say.

    • @JamesTBagg
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      28 months ago

      Water is not as corrosive as people think. Vinegar on the other hand, and/or some hydrogen peroxide.

  • @[email protected]
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    338 months ago

    You don’t buy one of those ugly-ass pieces of shit unless you’ve already bought into a dominance-oriented worldview, and intend to use it as a prop for asserting dominance over everyone who crosses your path. If you bought one and drove it considerately, you may as well have spent half the price on a more sensible car that only falls short in projecting an “alpha-male warlord” image.

  • @Evotech
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    278 months ago

    Does sf not have police or parking controllers at all? Where in from that shit would be towed before he managed to get his first cup of coffee

  • @FanciestPants
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    218 months ago

    One of those shows it’s fully blocking a fire hydrant too. The driver’s convenience is more important than people maybe burning to death.

    • @[email protected]
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      28 months ago

      If it’s blocking a fire hydrant, I think you can call the fire department to have it towed? From what I’ve read before, they don’t take this lightly.

      • @Maalus
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        38 months ago

        They’ll break the windows of a car if it’s in the way since any kink in the hose might reduce the water output by like 50%. You’ll get towed if no emergency is happening, but you also might get “towed” by the fire engine itself, probably with some major dents in your car if something is happening.

  • @[email protected]
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    178 months ago

    This looks like a great opportunity to slide across the hood with my keys hanging out of my back pocket.

    • Hildegarde
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      178 months ago

      If I were a vandal, (im not) I would get an old pair of boots and dip them into some sort of lightly corrosive liquid or gel, then walk them across the hood by hand.

      There is no more reasonable result of parking a cybertruck on a crosswalk than finding the indellable footprints of someone stubborn using the crosswalk despite their best efforts.

    • VindictiveJudge
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      8 months ago

      It’s specifically bare steel, so you’ll do more damage to your keys than to the truck. It’s also awful grade steel, so you could probably “accidentally” spill something on it and get some rust.

      • @[email protected]
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        88 months ago

        Just saying, hot tub filter cleaner is one of the strongest oxidisers I’ve ever come across

        Spilled some in my shed years ago and things are still rusting at an alarming rate

    • @Passerby6497
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      78 months ago

      That seems like it might not do enough damage. Get some jeans with bedazzled ass pockets, then you’re really set for your hood slide.

  • @UmeU
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    108 months ago

    Well we know it can’t take a rock to the window.

  • @mathic
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    68 months ago

    Remove the valve cores from his tires.

  • @BillMurray
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    68 months ago

    Get a valve stem remover, 4 flat tires suck

    • @ZapBeebz_
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      48 months ago

      Nah 3 flat tires suck more. Less likely for insurance to cover it

  • @[email protected]
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    58 months ago

    I have a real truck, and a tow strap. If I saw some shit like this I would gleefully hook up and drag that piece of shit “truck” wherever I felt like putting it lol. I wonder of there’s any laws against removing obstacles from the roadway?

    • @mean_bean279
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      228 months ago

      The problem is that this is almost entirely normal for the Bay Area. I drive around a ton in the bay and the amount of people that just double park on a road, or throw their hazards on and just put it in park is INSANE. So while this person is a douche as well, the cyber truck thing is really just clickbait since people in shitbox Hondas do this too.

    • @WhyDoYouPersist
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      58 months ago

      Just to be pedantic, it is categorized as a truck too, Class 2b, “light duty”. So it’s the same class as the GMC Sierra 2500, Ford F-250, and the Nissan Titan XD. I do agree it’s a piece of shit but only in that it’s a bigger piece of shit than the rest of its class.

        • @WhyDoYouPersist
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          38 months ago

          Apparently, and not just in the US:

          Light-duty trucking is a United States designation for trucks and vehicles that have a gross vehicle weight up to 8500 pounds and payload capacities up to 4000 pounds. Light commercial vehicles are a similar class of light-duty trucking vehicles found in the European Union, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada and have a gross vehicle weight up to the equivalent of 7720 pounds.