I’ve mastered the ability to take any idea or thought and transform it into anxiety. Jitters McGee

  • @[email protected]
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    14 days ago

    I can stand on one foot and tie my shoe in the air

    I taught myself to balance on one foot by brushing by teeth on one foot for a few months lol

  • Praise Idleness
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    12 days ago

    I used to make miniature food models for fun.

    Not really good at it but it’s useless and fun.

    • Mister Bean
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      2912 days ago

      Not really good at it

      I disagree, I would totally eat those thinking they were some fancy snack

    • Bobby Turkalino
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      1512 days ago

      Useless? I feel like you could get some commissions from urban restaurants to put these in their street-facing food displays

      • Praise Idleness
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        12 days ago

        That was what inspired me to make them at the first place! although it got less common

    • @thisisdee
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      211 days ago

      My grandma loves miniature everything, especially cute homey things (she has sets for different “rooms”). Whenever I travel anywhere I’m always on the lookout for them cos she’d appreciate these more than the generic city/country souvenir. Always really hard to find though. These look amazing!

    • @z00s
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      111 days ago

      엄청난!

  • @9tr6gyp3
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    13 days ago

    Im a top 1% player in Rocket League after playing for 4500 hours. The skill gap between me and the best players in the game is the same gap as between me and a brand new player.

    But i will still beat 99% of the game’s population.

    • @Contramuffin
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      2313 days ago

      Same for me, but with Tetris. I’m not the best, but I’m confident I can handedly beat the vast majority of the population. I spent most of my lockdown days just doing Tetris.

      • Tiefling IRL
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        13 days ago

        Similar on Splatoon. Before the recent rank reset I was S+6, it blows my mind that people go up to like S+20. But when the season ends, all the S+x ratings reset to S rank, and playing with normal S rank people recently reminded me of that.

        • Cris
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          412 days ago

          I was literally just about so say same for splatoon, I just hit my highest elo ever and I’m really proud of myself 🥺

          Do you play much x rank? I’m surprised to see someone refrencing their anarchy rank as opposed to x power

          • Tiefling IRL
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            12 days ago

            I don’t do too much X rank, I mostly stick to anarchy. Though I do jump into the occasional X game when I’m feeling masochistic.

            My main goal really is to master as many kits as I can and to learn their roles, and X games are not the tier for experimentation. Anarchy is a bit more lenient.

            • Cris
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              12 days ago

              Gotcha, I can see why you’d be more into anarchy then. Congrats on S+6 ☺️

      • @SpaceNoodle
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        612 days ago

        Did you mean “handily?” Or “single-handedly,” implying some sort of Teamtris?

        • @Contramuffin
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          412 days ago

          Yup, thanks! I was trying to figure out which word I was thinking of. I must have malaphored myself

    • @[email protected]
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      811 days ago

      Yeah same, but with like 2K hours. At some point I was Grand Champion 1 or something. I could probably win against 2 noobs without me using jump and boost, but in the few moments I played against pros I got equally clapped. It’s insane to me how much better pro players are.

      After Epic bought it the whole game slowly went to shit though. Psyonix once treated the game and its community as their baby, but it just became a soulless money printer without any decent innovation. So I barely play anymore, even though the core game is ultimately still fun.

    • @Suck_on_my_Presence
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      412 days ago

      As an 800 hour player that has to put the game down because of competitiveness making me a curmudgeon – Wow, gotta say. That’s so much work.

      Did you use the practice modes to get to be that level or did it just come to you during play?

      • @9tr6gyp3
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        11 days ago
        • Tons of freeplay
        • Tons of mods/workshop map
        • Ive had some coaching
        • And I also play in an amateur league

        As long as you always play to improve, watch videos to keep up on mechanics/metas, and just immerse yourself in the game, you’ll always climb up. If you play at least 2 hours a day, you’ll be insane before you know it.

        But in the spirit of this post, you could spend your time doing something so much more productive than a video game lol

      • @[email protected]
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        211 days ago

        Played 932h (around 900h actual playtime) and almost exclusively played ranked or rumble/dropshot but never casual.
        Best rank was Diamond 2 or 1 not sure anymore.
        Played it only on keyboard. No controller ever used. Gave it up as a sort of protest against the buyout and never went back.

  • @bamfic
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    7512 days ago

    I turn yaml into aws bills

    • slazer2au
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      1212 days ago

      I wouldn’t call that useless. That is how you get to be the executive lead cloud DevOps engineer.

  • @radicalautonomy
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    4312 days ago

    I can read UPC, UPC-8, ISBN, and EAN bar codes. Tear the numbers off the bottom of the bar code, hand me the lines, and I will tell you the numbers you tore off.

    I used to work the midnight shift at a call center back in the late 90s. It was incredibly boring because we weren’t allowed to browse the internet when no calls were coming in (which was most of the time, got maybe five calls total per night). So I picked up a copy of Yahoo! Internet Life, a now-defunct technology-centered magazine. This issue had a how-to section for wacky shit like that, so I committed it to memory because wtf else was there to do?

  • @[email protected]
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    3713 days ago

    i can roll quarters down my fingers continuously because I saw Val kilmer do it in Real Genius and I wanted to be cool like him.

    • @ivanafterall
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      1012 days ago

      Ha, I saw Val Kilmer do it in Tombstone and always wanted to do it, but never followed through.

      • @[email protected]
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        412 days ago

        he does it in tombstone?

        i must have completely forgotten about that.

        haha he definitely must have told them that he could do it from practicing on set at Real Genius and they should let him do it in tombstone too, that’s hilarious haha.

  • @Postmortal_Pop
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    3412 days ago

    I can fluidly open a trash bag, pull it into a straight line, and toss it like a dart, landing it in an open trash can from up to 30ft.

    This only works with those cheap bags that businesses use and this was honed over years of changing trash at various businesses. Not useful, very majestic though.

  • @[email protected]
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    3212 days ago

    I can independently write different text with both hands at the same time just as easily as writing with only one hand. I consider this a useless skill because I rarely ever write with an actual pen or pencil, so being able to write with both hands simultaneously doesn’t add anything.

    Lots of time being bored in school and an obsession with broadening the mind.

    • @ivanafterall
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      1212 days ago

      Could you use both hands to write the same sentence twice as fast?

      • @[email protected]
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        812 days ago

        In principle, yes, but this would require some additional effort because of word spacing. The sentence would need to come together and meet at a point.

    • @somethingsnappy
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      612 days ago

      Basically same. I don’t know if being ambidextrous is something you can be born with. I broke arms, wrists, fingers enough that functionality I had to be able to use both hands in school and sports.

    • qprimed
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      12 days ago

      I consider this a useless skill

      I dont know, friend. thats a bit of a step up from the usual party trick.

      best I’ve got is zero lead hand/leg preference when sparring muay thai. makes me a real lonely or a real popular dance partner depending on the crowd.

    • @[email protected]
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      312 days ago

      Second job overnights at a gas station… Pretty much any combination of right/left hand, upside down/mirrored, cursive/text, words forward/letters backwards, etc.

    • @BowtiesAreCool
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      212 days ago

      So this sounded crazy to me, like I’d never be able to do that, I just grabbed paper, a pen in my left hand(I’m right handed) and a pen shaped object in the other(it doesn’t write) I moved both hands at the same time as if writing with both, and my left hand writing is better than I’ve ever seen myself do, when trying to independently write with my left hand.

    • @1995ToyotaCorolla
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      211 days ago

      That’s not useless, a 14th century monastery would love to have you

  • @Zachariah
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    2913 days ago

    I can hold a marker with my toes and write with it.

    • @felixwhynot
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      1313 days ago

      Ok so, how did you develop this talent??

    • @robocall
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      912 days ago

      Write, “lemmy” with your toes and take a pic… Bonus points if you draw the rats face

          • @Zachariah
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            112 days ago

            I’m worried that would put this skill over in the useful category.

        • @robocall
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          212 days ago

          I bet you just made up this claim… you probably can’t even hold a marker with your toes -let alone write with that marker!

          • @Zachariah
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            112 days ago

            It’s on the TV Internet Fediverse, so it must be true!

    • @robocall
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      612 days ago

      I just tried and was successful. I have long fingers which probably helps. But it’s not as loud as when I clap with two hands.

    • @graeghos_714
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      211 days ago

      What’s the sound of one hand clapping? ;-p

      • @Xeroxchasechase
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        110 days ago

        It sounds similar to normal clapping but more faint, and lonly and with echo, the damn echo!

  • @[email protected]
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    12 days ago

    I can make double fart sounds by laying on my back and cupping my knee-armpits with both hands.

    Not entirely useless though; I showed this to my SO 7 years ago when we started dating and she was clearly impressed as she’s still hanging around.

    • @[email protected]
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      312 days ago

      I was worried I was the only one! I can also do elbows, neck, and chest. Also eye sockets but it’s not very loud, I’m working on it.

  • ⚛️ Color 🎨
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    1612 days ago

    Alternating between American and British spellings like it’s nothing. I just use whatever spelling I vibe with at the time. I’ll do the same with units of measurement as well.

  • @[email protected]
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    12 days ago

    I can speedwalk very fast and with good stability. It comes in handy when I need to move fast with a glass of liquid, which doesn’t come up a lot.

    • radix
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      212 days ago

      Were you ever in marching band? I got relatively good at that after putting my all into marching band in high school.

  • Buglefingers
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    1312 days ago

    I could never spin a pen around my thumb so instead I learned how to “flick” it, have it do a flip and land back in my hand.

    I can also rapidly place two strips of tape on one another with no bubbles and parallel enough you’d think it’s one piece. However I can only do this vertically

    • @[email protected]
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      12 days ago

      The pen flip/flicking seems like a skill I would love to learn. Do you have a video or know of a video showing or teaching this?

      • Buglefingers
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        11 days ago

        It’s possible there is someone or a video who can show you though I came up with it myself in leu of spinning it so I don’t personally have any sources.

        I can give you a written explanation though!

        Step one: Hold the Pen as you normally would

        Step two: Get the rubber pen grip (or associated area, roughly 1/3 the length from the tip) onto the knuckle at your finger tip or just in front of it (towards the tip of your finger). This should have your finger in a C position which should put you pretty close to a flick position.

        Step 3: Put your thumb in front of the tip of your finger and apply counter pressure between your fingers (ready to flick)

        Step 4: Release your restrained middle finger causing your finger to flick and sending the pen up in a flipping motion.

        Notable: If the pen flys forward try adjusting how forward or backwards the pen sits on your knuckle (I.E. 1/3, 1/4 etc.). Same if the flip is too speedy or slow.

        Adjusting your wrist or moving your hand up to start with some momentum can be useful when learning.

        Consistency is hard but you’ll get the feel in time

  • Tiefling IRL
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    12 days ago

    I’m really good at putting sharp objects up my nose (from sideshow)